Princess Bride, The (1987)

FADE IN ON:

A VIDEO GAME ON A COMPUTER SCREEN

The game is in progress. As a sick coughing sound is heard.

						CUT TO:

THIS KID

lying in bed, coughing. Pale, one sick cookie. Maybe he's
seven or eight or nine. He holds a remote in one hand,
presses it, and the video game moves a little bit. Then he's
hit by another spasm of coughing, puts the remote down.

His room is monochromatic, greys and blues, mildly high-tech.
We're in the present day and this is a middle class house,
somewhere in the suburbs.

						CUT TO:

The Kid's MOTHER as she enters, goes to him, fluffs his
pillows, kisses him, and briefly feels his forehead. She's
worried, it doesn't show. During this

		MOTHER
	You feeling any better?

		THE KID
	A little bit.

		MOTHER
	Guess what.

		THE KID
	What?

		MOTHER
	Your grandfather's here.

		THE KID
		(not overjoyed)
	Mom, can't you tell him that I'm
	sick?

		MOTHER
	You are sick, that's why he's here.

		THE KID
	He'll pinch my cheek. I hate that.

		MOTHER
	Maybe he won't.

							   2.


The Kid shoots her an "I'm sure" look, as we

						CUT TO:

THE KID'S GRANDFATHER bursting into the room. Kind of
rumpled. But the eyes are bright. He has a wrapped package
tucked under one arm as be immediately goes to The Kid,
pinches his cheek.

		GRANDFATHER
	Hey! How's the sickie? Heh?

The Kid gives his Mother an "I told you so" look. The Mother
ignores it, beats a retreat.

		MOTHER
	I think I'll leave you two pals.

And she is gone. There's an uncomfortable silence, then...

		GRANDFATHER
	I brought you a special present.

		THE KID
	What is it?

		GRANDFATHER
	Open it up.

The Kid does. He does his best to smile.

		THE KID
	A book?

		GRANDFATHER
	That's right. When I was your
	age, television was called books.
	And this is a special book. It
	was the book my father used to
	read to me when I was sick, and I
	used to read it to your father.
	And today, I'm gonna read it to
	you.

		THE KID
	Has it got any sports in it?

						CUT TO:

THE GRANDFATHER

Suddenly passionate.
							   3.


		GRANDFATHER
	Are you kidding? Fencing. Fighting.
	Torture. Revenge. Giants. Monsters.
	Chases. Escapes. True love.
	Miracles.

						CUT TO:

THE TWO OF THEM as the Grandfather sits in a chair by the bed.

		THE KID
		(manages a shrug)
	It doesn't sound too bad. I'll
	try and stay awake.

		GRANDFATHER
	Oh. Well, thank you very much.
	It's very nice of you. Your vote
	of confidence is overwhelming.
	All right.
		(Book open now, be
		begins to read.)
	The Princess Bride, by S.
	Morgenstern. Chapter One.
	Buttercup was raised on a small
	farm in the country of Florin.

						DISSOLVE TO:

The story he's reading about, as the monochromatic look of
the bedroom is replaced by the dazzling color of the English
countryside.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	Her favorite pastimes were riding
	her horse and tormenting the farm
	boy that worked there. His name
	was Westley, but she never called
	him that.
		(to the kid)
	Isn't that a wonderful beginning?

		THE KID
		(off-screen doing his best)
	Yeah. It's really good.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen reading)
	Nothing gave Buttercup as much
	pleasure as ordering Westley
	around.

						CUT TO:
							   4.


BUTTERCUPS FARM - DAY

BUTTERCUP is standing, holding the reins of her horse, while
in the background, WESTLEY, in the stable doorway, looks at
her. Buttercup is in her late teens; doesn't care much about
clothes and she hates brushing her long hair, so she isn't
as attractive as she might be, but she's still probably the
most beautiful woman in the world.

		BUTTERCUP
	Farm boy. Polish my horse's
	saddle. I want to see my face
	shining in it by morning.

		WESTLEY
		(quietly, watching her)
	As you wish.

Westley is perhaps half a dozen years older than Buttercup.
And maybe as handsome as she is beautiful. He gazes at her
as she walks away.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	"As you wish" was all he ever
	said to her.

						DISSOLVE TO:

WESTLEY, outside, chopping wood. Buttercup drops two large
buckets near him.

		BUTTERCUP
	Farm Boy. Fill these with water --
		(a beat)
	--please.

		WESTLEY
	As you wish.

She leaves; his eyes stay on her. She stops, turns -- he
manages to look away as now her eyes stay on him.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	That day, she was amazed to
	discover that when he was saying,
	"As you wish," what he meant was,
	"I love you."

						DISSOLVE TO:
							   5.


BUTTERCUP IN THE KITCHEN - DUSK

Westley enters with an armload of firewood.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	And even more amazing was the day
	she realized she truly loved him
	back.

		BUTTERCUP
		(pointing to a pitcher
		that she could reach herself)
	Farm Boy, fetch me that pitcher.

He gets it, hands it to her; they are standing very close to
each other gazing into each other's eyes.

		WESTLEY
	As you wish.

Now he turns, moves outside.

						DISSOLVE TO:

WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP, outside his tiny hovel in the red
glow of sunset. They are locked in a passionate kiss.

		THE KID
		(off-screen)
	-hold it, hold it-

						CUT TO:

THE KID'S ROOM

		THE KID
	What is this? Are you trying to
	trick me? -- Where's the sports? --
	Is this a kissing book?

		GRANDFATHER
	-- wait, just wait --

		THE KID
	-- well, when does it get good?

		GRANDFATHER
	Keep your shirt on. Let me read.
		(reading again)
	Westley had no money for marriage.
	So he packed his few belongings
	and left the farm to seek his
	fortune across the sea.

						CUT TO:
							   6.


WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP

They stand near the gate to the farm, locked in an embrace.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen reading)
	It was a very emotional time for
	Buttercup --

		THE KID
		(off-screen groaning)
	I don't be-leeve this.

		BUTTERCUP
	I fear I'll never see you again.

		WESTLEY
	Of course you will.

		BUTTERCUP
	But what if something happens to
	you?

		WESTLEY
	Hear this now: I will come for you.

		BUTTERCUP
	But how can you be sure?

		WESTLEY
	This is true love. You think this
	happens every day?

He smiles at her, she smiles too, throws her arms so tightly
around him. They kiss. Then as Westley walks away, Buttercup
watches him go.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen reading)
	Westley didn't reach his
	destination. His ship was attacked
	by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who
	never left captives alive. When
	Buttercup got the news that
	Westley was murdered --

		THE KID
		(off-screen, perking
		up a little)
	-- murdered by pirates is good --

						CUT TO:

CLOSE UP: Buttercup, staring out the window of her room.
							   7.


		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	She went into her room and shut
	the door. And for days, she
	neither slept nor ate.

		BUTTERCUP
		(no emotion at all in
		her voice)
	I will never love again.

HOLD ON HER FACE, perfect and perfectly sad.

						DISSOLVE TO:

FLORIN CASTLE - DAY

The main courtyard of Florin replete with townspeople,
livestock, and a bustling marketplace.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen reading)
	Five years later, the main square
	of Florin City was filled as
	never before to hear the
	announcement of the great Prince
	Humperdinck's bride-to be.

						CUT TO:

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK, a man of incredible power and bearing,
standing in his royal robes on a castle balcony. Three
others standing behind him: an OLD COUPLE with crowns, the
aging KING AND QUEEN, and a dark bearded man who seems the
Prince's match in strength: this is COUNT RUGEN.

		HUMPERDINCK
		(raises his hands,
		starts to speak)
	My people ... a month from now,
	our country will have its 500th
	anniversary. On that sundown, I
	shall marry a lady who was once a
	commoner like yourselves --
		(pause)
	-- but perhaps you will not find
	her common now. Would you like to
	meet her?

And the answering YESSSS booms like summer thunder.

						CUT TO:
							   8.


A giant staircase leading to the CROWD and as a FIGURE just
begins to become visible,

						CUT TO:

THE CROWD, as they see the figure. (We haven't yet.) And if
there is such a thing as collective action, then this crowd,
collectively, holds its breath.

						CUT TO:

THE STAIRCASE, as the figure appears in the archway. It is
Buttercup. And she resplendent.

		HUMPERDINCK
	My people ... the Princess
	Buttercup!!

She descends the stairs and starts to move amongst the people.

						CUT TO:

THE CROWD, and they do a very strange thing: with no
instruction at all, they suddenly go to their knees. Great
waves of people kneeling and --

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP, terribly moved. She stands immobile among her
subjects, blinking back tears. HOLD on her beauty for a
moment.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	Buttercup's emptiness consumed
	her. Although the law of the land
	gave Humperdinck the right to
	choose his bride, she did not
	love him.

						CUT TO:

WOODLANDS

-- and Buttercup, barreling along, controlling her horse
easily.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	Despite Humperdinck's reassurance
	that she would grow to love him,
	the only joy she found was in her
	daily ride.

						CUT TO:
							   9.


A WOODED GLEN - CLOSE TO SUNDOWN

Lovely, quiet, deserted. Buttercup suddenly reins in.

		VOICE
	A word, my lady?

						CUT TO:

THREE MEN, standing close together in the path. Beyond them
can be seen the waters of Florin Channel. The three men are
not your everyday commuter types. Standing in front is a
tiny man with the most angelic face. He is Sicilian and his
name is VIZZINI. Beside him is a Spaniard, erect and taut as
a blade of steel. His name is INIGO MONTOYA. Beside him is a
giant. His name is FEZZIK.

		VIZZINI
	We are but poor, lost circus
	performers. Is there a village
	nearby?

		BUTTERCUP
	There is nothing nearby; not for
	miles.

		VIZZINI
	Then there will be no one to hear
	you scream-

He nods to the giant, Fezzik, who merely reaches over,
touches a nerve on Buttercup's neck, and the start of a
scream is all she manages --unconsciousness comes that fast.
As she starts to fall --

						CUT TO:

A TINY ISOLATED SPOT AT THE EDGE OF FLORIN CHANNEL

A sailboat is moored. It's dusk now, shadows are long.
Inigo, the Spaniard, busies himself getting the boat ready.

						CUT TO:

The giant Fezzik carries Buttercup, unconscious, on board.

Vizzini rips some tiny pieces of fabric from an army jacket
and tucks them along the saddle of Buttercup's horse. There
is about the entire operation a sense of tremendous skill
and precision.

		INIGO
	What is that you're ripping?
							  10.


		VIZZINI
		(not stopping or turning)
	It's fabric from the uniform of
	an Army officer of Guilder.

		FEZZIK
	Who's Guilder?

		VIZZINI
		(pointing straight out)
	The country across the sea. The
	sworn enemy of Florin.
		(slaps the horse's rump)
	Go!

The horse takes off. They start for the boat.

		VIZZINI
	Once the horse reaches the
	castle, the fabric will make the
	Prince suspect the Guilderians
	have abducted his love. When he
	finds her body dead on the
	Guilder frontier, his suspicions
	will be totally confirmed.

		FEZZIK
	You never said anything about
	killing anyone.

Vizzini hops onto the boat.

		VIZZINI
	I've hired you to help me start a
	war. That's a prestigious line of
	work with a long and glorious
	tradition.

		FEZZIK
	I just don't think it's right,
	killing an innocent girl.

		VIZZINI
		(whirling on Fezzik)
	Am I going mad or did the word
	"think" escape your lips? You
	were not hired for your brains,
	you hippopotamic land mass.

		INIGO
	I agree with Fezzik.

						CUT TO:
							  11.


CLOSE UP: Vizzini, in a fury.

		VIZZINI
		(We only thought he
		was in a fury --now
		he's really getting mad)
	Oh. The sot has spoken. What
	happens to her is not truly your
	concern -- I will kill her --
		(louder)
	And remember this -- never forget
	this --

						CUT TO:

INIGO AND FEZZIK, as Vizzini advances on them. Nothing shows
on Inigo's face, but FEZZIK is panicked by Vizzini.

		VIZZINI
		(to Inigo)
	-- when I found you, you were so
	slobbering drunk you couldn't buy
	brandy --
		(now to Fezzik, who
		retreats as much as he
		can while Vizzini advances)
	-- and you -- friendless,
	brainless, helpless, hopeless --
	Do you want me to send you back
	to where you were, unemployed in
	Greenland?

Vizzini glares at him, then turns, leaves them.

During this, Inigo has gone close to FEZZIK, who is very
distressed at the insults he's just received. As Inigo casts
off.

		INIGO
		(softly)
	That Vizzini, he can fuss.
		(a slight emphasis on
		the last word)


		FEZZIK
		(looking at Inigo)
	... fuss ... fuss ...
		(Suddenly, he's got it
		again, emphasis on the
		last word.)
	I think he likes to scream at us.
							  12.


		INIGO
	Probably he means no harm.

		FEZZIK
	He's really very short on charm.

		INIGO
		(proudly)
	Oh, you've a great gift for rhyme.

		FEZZIK
	Yes, some of the time.
		(he starts to smile)


		VIZZINI
		(whirling on them)
	Enough of that.

As they sail off, we hear their voices as the boat recedes.

		INIGO
	FEZZIK, are there rocks ahead?

		FEZZIK
	If there are, we'll all be dead.

		VIZZINI
	No more rhymes now, I mean it.

		FEZZIK
	Anybody want a peanut?

As Vizzini screams we:

						DISSOLVE TO:

THE SAILBOAT RACING ACROSS THE DARK WATERS

Inigo is at the helm, FEZZIK stands near the body of the
princess, whose eyelids flutter slightly -- or do they?
Vizzini sits motionless. The waves are higher, there are
only occasional flashes of moon slanting down between clouds.

		VIZZINI
		(to Inigo)
	We'll reach the Cliffs by dawn.

Inigo nods, glances back.

		VIZZINI
	Why are you doing that?
							  13.


		INIGO
	Making sure nobody's following us.

		VIZZINI
	That would be inconceivable.

		BUTTERCUP
	Despite what you think, you will
	be caught. And when you are, the
	Prince will see you all hanged.

Vizzini turns a cold eye on the Princess.

		VIZZINI
	Of all the necks on this boat,
	Highness, the one you should be
	worrying about is your own.

Inigo keeps staring behind them.

		VIZZINI
	Stop doing that. We can all
	relax, it's almost over-

		INIGO
	You're sure nobody's following us?

		VIZZINI
	As I told you, it would be
	absolutely, totally, and in all
	other ways, inconceivable. No one
	in Guilder knows what we've done.
	And no one in Florin could have
	gotten here so fast. Out of
	curiosity, why do you ask?

		INIGO
	No reason. It's only, I just
	happened to look behind us, and
	something is there.

		VIZZINI
	What?

And suddenly the three whirl, stare back and as they do --

						CUT TO:

THE DARKNESS BEHIND THEM

It's hard to see; the moon is behind clouds now. But the
wind whistles. And the waves pound.
							  14.


And suddenly it's all gone ominous.

						CUT TO:

INIGO, FEZZIK, AND VIZZINI squinting back, trying desperately
to see. At this moment, they are all holding their breaths.

						CUT TO:

THE DARKNESS BEHIND THEM

And there's still nothing to be seen. It's still ominous.
Only now it's eerie too.

Then --

The moon slips through and --

Inigo was right -- something is very much there. A sailboat.
Black. With a great billowing sail. Black. It's a good
distance behind them, but it's coming like hell, closing the
gap.

						CUT TO:

INIGO, FEZZIK, AND VIZZINI

staring at the other boat.

		VIZZINI
		(explaining with as
		much logic as he can muster)
	Probably some local fisherman out
	for a pleasure cruise at night
	through eel-infested waters.

And now as a sound comes from their boat they turn as we

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP, diving into the water, starting to swim away.

						CUT TO:

THE BOAT

and Vizzini screaming.

		VIZZINI
	Go in, get after her!

		INIGO
	I don't swim.
							  15.


		FEZZIK
		(to the unasked question)
	I only dog paddle.

		VIZZINI
	Veer left. Left. Left!

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

still close to the boat, switching from a crawl to a silent
breast stroke. The wind dies and as it does, something new
is heard. A not-too-distant high-pitched shrieking sound.
Buttercup stops suddenly, treads water.

						CUT TO:

THE BOAT

		VIZZINI
	Do you know what that sound is,
	Highness? Those are the Shrieking
	Eels -- if you doubt me, just
	wait. They always grow louder
	when they're about to feed on
	human flesh.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP, treading water, still not far from the boat. The
shrieking sounds are getting louder and more terrifying.
Buttercup stays silent.

						CUT TO:

THE BOAT

		VIZZINI
	If you swim back now, I promise,
	no harm will come to you. I doubt
	you will get such an offer from
	the Eels.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP, and she's a gutsy girl. The shrieking sound is
louder still, but she doesn't make a sound. Behind her now,
something dark and gigantic slithers past.

She's scared, sure, petrified, who wouldn't be, but she
makes no reply --

-- and now a SHRIEKING EEL has zeroed in on her --
							  16.


-- and now she sees it, a short distance away, circling,
starting to close --

-- and Buttercup is frozen, trying not to make a movement of
any kind --

-- and the Eel slithers closer, closer --

-- and Buttercup knows it now, there's nothing she can do,
it's over, all over --

-- and now the Eel opens its mouth wide, and it's never made
such a noise, and as its great jaws are about to clamp
down --

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	She doesn't get eaten by the Eels
	at this time.

And the second we hear him:

						CUT TO:

THE SICK KID'S ROOM

The Kid looks the same, pale and weak, but maybe he's
gripping the sheets a little too tightly with his hands.

		THE KID
	What?

		GRANDFATHER
	The Eel doesn't get her. I'm
	explaining to you because you
	looked nervous.

		THE KID
	Well, I wasn't nervous.

His Grandfather says nothing, just waits.

		THE KID
	Well, maybe I was a little bit
	concerned. But that's not the
	same thing.

		GRANDFATHER
	Because I can stop now if you want.

		THE KID
	No. You could read a little bit
	more ... if you want.
							  17.


He grips the sheets again, as the Grandfather picks up the
book.

		GRANDFATHER
		(reading)
	"Do you know what that sound is,
	Highness?"

						CUT TO:

VIZZINI

We're back in the boat.

		VIZZINI
	Those are the Shrieking Eels.

		THE KID
		(off-screen)
	We're past that, Grandpa.

						CUT TO:

THE SICK KID'S ROOM

		THE KID
	You read it already.

		GRANDFATHER
	Oh. Oh my goodness, I did. I'm
	sorry. Beg your pardon.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

treading water.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	All right, all right, let's see.
	Uh, she was in the water, the Eel
	was coming after her. She was
	frightened. The Eel started to
	charge her. And then -

And we're back where we were at the last moment we saw her,
Buttercup frozen, the Shrieking Eel, jaws wide, about to
clamp down as we

						CUT TO:
							  18.


A GIANT ARM

pounding the Eel unconscious in one move, then easily
lifting Buttercup.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

The boat and FEZZIK, Buttercup being deposited on the deck.

		VIZZINI
	Put her down. Just put her down.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

pointing behind them.

		INIGO
	I think he's getting closer.

Vizzini, tying Buttercup's hands.

		VIZZINI
	He's no concern of ours. Sail on!
		(to Buttercup)
	I suppose you think you're brave,
	don't you?

		BUTTERCUP
		(staring deep at him)
	Only compared to some.

						DISSOLVE TO:

The boat at dawn, being followed closely by the black
sailboat, which we can see for the first time is being
sailed by a MAN IN BLACK, and his boat almost seems to be
flying.

		INIGO
	Look! He's right on top of us. I
	wonder if he is using the same
	wind we are using.

		VIZZINI
	Whoever he is, he's too late --
		(pointing ahead of them)
	-- see?
		(big)
	The Cliffs of Insanity.
							  19.


And once he's said the name--

						CUT TO:

THE CLIFFS OF INSANITY - DAWN

They rise straight up, sheer from the water, impossibly high.

						CUT TO:

THE TWO SAILBOATS

in a wild race for the Cliffs and the Man In Black is
closing faster than ever, but not fast enough, the lead was
too great to overcome, and as Inigo sails with great
precision straight at the Cliffs

						CUT TO:

THE BOAT

being pursued.

		VIZZINI
	Hurry up. Move the thing! Um ...
	that other thing. Move it!
		(staring back now)
	We're safe -- only FEZZIK is
	strong enough to go up our way --
	he'll have to sail around for
	hours 'til he finds a harbor.

There is much activity going on, all of it swift, expert,
economical. FEZZIK reaches up along the Cliff face, grabs a
jutting rock, reaches behind it. Suddenly there is a thick
rope in his hands. He drops back to the boat, gives the rope
a freeing swing and

						CUT TO:

THE CLIFFS

The rope goes all the way to the top.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

hurrying to FEZZIK. He straps a harness to him, then lifts
Buttercup and Vizzini in the harness. Finally, he himself
gets in the harness. All three are strapped to FEZZIK like
papooses.
							  20.


And he starts to ascend the rope, carrying them all along
with him as he goes.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK, sailing in toward the Cliffs of Insanity,
watching as FEZZIK rises swiftly through the first moments
of dawn.

						CUT TO:

THE TOP OF THE CLIFFS - LOOKING DOWN

FEZZIK'S GROUP is only faintly visible far below. This is
the first time we've gotten the real vertigo feeling and
it's a gasper.

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK CLIMBING ON. Buttercup is almost out of her mind with
fear.

						CUT TO:

THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE CLIFFS

FEZZIK is moving right along; however high they are, he's
already over a third of the way done.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

leaping from his ship to the rope, starting to climb. He's
impossibly far behind, but the way he goes you'd think he
didn't know that because he is flying up the rope, hand over
hand like lightning.

						CUT TO:

VIZZINI AND THE OTHERS

		INIGO
		(looking down)
	He's climbing the rope. And he's
	gaining on us.

		VIZZINI
	Inconceivable!

He prods FEZZIK, who nods, increases his pace.

						CUT TO:
							  21.


THE MAN IN BLACK

roaring up the rope, and

						CUT TO:

LONG SHOT - THE CLIFFS

-- and the Man In Black is cutting deeply into FEZZIK's lead.

						CUT TO:

VIZZINI AND THE OTHERS

		VIZZINI
		(shrieking)
	Faster!

		FEZZIK
	I thought I was going faster.

		VIZZINI
	You were supposed to be this
	colossus. You were this great,
	legendary thing. And yet he gains.

		FEZZIK
	Well, I'm carrying three people.
	And he's got only himself.

		VIZZINI
		(cutting through)
	-- I do not accept excuses.
		(shaking his head)
	I'm just going to have to find
	myself a new giant, that's all.

		FEZZIK
		(hurt)
	Don't say that, Vizzini. Please.

And his arms begin moving much more slowly.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

His arms still work as before. If anything, he has speeded
up. FEZZIK's lead is smaller and smaller

						CUT TO:
							  22.


THE VIEW FROM THE TOP OF THE CLIFFS

Maybe a hundred feet for FEZZIK to go. Maybe more.

						CUT TO:

VIZZINI AND THE OTHERS, and it's getting too close now.

		VIZZINI
	Did I make it clear that your job
	is at stake?

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

less than a hundred feet behind them. And gaining.

						CUT TO:

THE CLIFF TOP AS FEZZIK MAKES IT!

Vizzini leaps off and takes out a knife, begins to cut the
rope which is tied around a great rock while Inigo helps the
Princess to her feet and FEZZIK just stands around, waiting
for someone to tell him to do something. Nearby are some
stone ruins. Once they might have been a fort, now the kind
of resemble Stonehenge.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

feet from the top now, maybe less -- maybe only 50 -- and
his pace is as dazzling as before, and

						CUT TO:

VIZZINI

cutting through the last of the rope and

						CUT TO:

THE ROPE

slithering across the ground and out of sight toward the
Channel, like some great serpent at last going home.

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK

standing with Inigo and Buttercup by the cliff edge.
							  23.


		FEZZIK
		(to Inigo -- impressed)
	He has very good arms.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

hanging suspended hundreds of feet in the air, holding to
the jagged rocks, desperately trying to cling to life.

						CUT TO:

VIZZINI

stunned, turning to the others, looking down.

		VIZZINI
	He didn't fall? Inconceivable!!

		INIGO
		(whirling on Vizzini)
	You keep using that word -- I do
	not think it means what you think
	it means.
		(looks down again)
	My God! He's climbing.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

and so he is. Very slowly, he is picking his way upwards,
sometimes a foot at a time, sometimes an inch.

						CUT TO:

The group at the top, staring down.

		VIZZINI
	Whoever he is, he's obviously
	seen us with the Princess, and
	must therefore die.
		(to Fezzik)
	You, carry her.
		(to Inigo)
	We'll head straight for the
	Guilder frontier. Catch up when
	he's dead. If he falls, fine. If
	not, the sword.

Inigo nods.
							  24.


		INIGO
	I want to duel him left-handed.

		VIZZINI
	You know what a hurry we're in.

		INIGO
	Well, it's the only way I can be
	satisfied. If I use my right --
	tch -- over too quickly.

		VIZZINI
		(turns abruptly,
		starts off-screen)
	Oh, have it your way.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

still creeping his way upward.

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK

who goes to Inigo.

		FEZZIK
	You be careful.
		(gravely)
	-- people in masks cannot be
	trusted.

		VIZZINI
		(calling out)
	I'm waiting!

FEZZIK nods, hurries after Vizzini.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

He watches them depart, then turns, peers down over the
Cliffs. He watches a moment, then paces, shaking his hands
loose. He practices a few of his honed fencing skills. He is
a taut and nervous fellow, and has never been one for
waiting around.

						CUT TO:
							  25.


THE MAN IN BLACK

climbing on. He must be six inches closer to the top than
when last we saw him. Inigo is watching.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

walking away. Finally he goes back to cliff edge, starts to
talk. It's instant death if the Man In Black falls, but
neither gives that possibility much credence. This is our
two heroes meeting. They don't know it yet; but that's what
it is.

		INIGO
		(hollering down)
	Hello there.

The Man In Black glances up, kind of grunts.

		INIGO
	Slow going?

		MAN IN BLACK
	Look, I don't mean to be rude,
	but this is not as easy as it
	looks. So I'd appreciate it if
	you wouldn't distract me.

		INIGO
	Sorry.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Thank you.

Inigo steps away, draws his sword, loosens up with a few
perfect thrusts. Then resheathes and looks eagerly over the
edge again.

		INIGO
	I do not suppose you could speed
	things up?

		MAN IN BLACK
		(with some beat)
	If you're in such a hurry, you
	could lower a rope, or a tree
	branch, or find something useful
	to do.
							  26.


		INIGO
	I could do that. In fact, I've
	got some rope up here. But I do
	not think that you will accept my
	help, since I am only waiting
	around to kill you.

		MAN IN BLACK
	That does put a damper on our
	relationship.

He finds another bold a few inches higher.

		INIGO
	But I promise I will not kill you
	until you reach the top.

		MAN IN BLACK
	That's very comforting. But I'm
	afraid you'll just have to wait.

		INIGO
	I hate waiting. I could give you
	my word as a Spaniard.

		MAN IN BLACK
	No good. I've known too many
	Spaniards.

And he just hangs there in space, resting, gathering his
strength.

		INIGO
	You don't know any way you'll
	trust me?

		MAN IN BLACK
	Nothing comes to mind.

And on these words, CAMERA ZOOMS into a CLOSE UP on Inigo.
He raises his right hand high, his eyes blaze, and his voice
takes on a tone we have not heard before.

		INIGO
	I swear on the soul of my father,
	Domingo Montoya, you will reach
	the top alive.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK.

There is a pause. Then, quietly:
							  27.


		MAN IN BLACK
	Throw me the rope.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

He dashes to the giant rock the rope was originally tied to.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

as his grip loosens a moment, trying to cling to the side of
the cliff.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

now with a small coil of rope, hurries back to the edge and
hurls it over --

						CUT TO:

THE ROPE

It hangs close to the Man In Black. He releases the rocks,
grabs the rope, hangs helplessly in space a moment, then
looks up at Inigo and --

						CUT TO:

INIGO

straining, forcing his body away from the cliff edge and --

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

rising through the early morning light, slowly, steadily,
and as the cliff top at last comes within reach --

						CUT TO:

INIGO

watching as the Man In Black crawls to safety, then looks to
Inigo.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(pulling his sword)
	Thank you.
							  28.


		INIGO
	We'll wait until you're ready.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Again. Thank you.

The Man In Black sits to rest on the boulder that once held
the rope. He tugs off his leather boots and is amazed to see
several large rocks tumble out. The Man In Black wears
gloves. Inigo stares at them.

		INIGO
	I do not mean to pry, but you
	don't by any chance happen to
	have six fingers on your right
	hand?

He glances up -- the question clearly baffles him.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Do you always begin conversations
	this way?

		INIGO
	My father was slaughtered by a
	sixfingered man. He was a great
	swordmaker, my father. And when
	the six-fingered man appeared and
	requested a special sword, my
	father took the job. He slaved a
	year before he was done.

He hands his sword to the Man In Black.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(fondling it-impressed)
	I have never seen its equal.

						CUT TO:

CLOSE UP - INIGO

Even now, this still brings pain.

		INIGO
	The six-fingered man returned and
	demanded it, but at one-tenth his
	promised price. My father refused.
	Without a word, the six-fingered
	man slashed him through the heart.
	I loved my father, so, naturally,
	challenged his murderer to a duel
	... I failed ...
		(MORE)
							  29.


		INIGO (CONT'D)
	the six-fingered man did leave me
	alive with the six-fingered
	sword, but he gave me these.

He touches his scars.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

looking up at Inigo.

		MAN IN BLACK
	How old were you?

		INIGO
	I was eleven years old. When I
	was strong enough, I dedicated my
	life to the study of fencing. So
	the next time we meet, I will not
	fail. I will go up to the
	sixfingered man and say, "Hello,
	my name is Inigo Montoya. You
	killed my father. Prepare to die."

		MAN IN BLACK
	You've done nothing but study
	swordplay?

		INIGO
	More pursuit than study lately.
	You see, I cannot find him. It's
	been twenty years now. I am
	starting to lose confidence. I
	just work for Vizzini to pay the
	bills. There's not a lot of money
	in revenge.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(handing back the
		great sword, starting
		to rise)
	Well, I certainly hope you find
	him, someday.

		INIGO
	You are ready, then?

		MAN IN BLACK
	Whether I am or not, you've been
	more than fair.
							  30.


		INIGO
	You seem a decent fellow. I hate
	to kill you.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(walking away a few
		paces, unsheathing his sword)
	You seem a decent fellow. I hate
	to die.

		INIGO
	Begin!

And on that word --

						CUT TO:

THE TWO OF THEM

And what we are starting now is one of the two greatest
sword fights in modern movies (the other one happens later
on), and right from the beginning it looks different.

Because they aren't close to each other -- none of the
swordscrossing "en garde" garbage.

No, what we have here is two men, two athletes, and they
look to be too faraway to damage each other, but each time
one makes even the tiniest feint, the other counters, and
there is silence, and as they start to circle --

						CUT TO:

THE SIX-FINGERED SWORD

feinting here, feinting there and --

						CUT TO:

THE TWO MEN

finished teasing, begin to duel in earnest.

Their swords cross, then again, again, and the sound comes
so fast it's almost continual. Inigo presses on, the Man In
Black retreating up a rocky incline.

		INIGO
		(thrilled)
	You're using Bonetti's defense
	against me, ah?
							  31.


		MAN IN BLACK
	I thought it fitting, considering
	the rocky terrain --

		INIGO
	Naturally, you must expect me to
	attack with Capo Ferro.

And he shifts his style now.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(coping as best he can)
	-- naturally --
		(suddenly shifting again)
	--but I find Thibault cancels out
	Capo Ferro, don't you?

The Man In Black is now perched at the edge of the elevated
castle ruin. No where to go, he jumps to the sand.

Inigo stares down at him.

		INIGO
	Unless the enemy has studied his
	Agrippa-

And now, with the grace of an Olympian, Inigo flies off the
perch, somersaults clean over the Man In Black's head, and
lands facing his opponent.

		INIGO
	-- which I have.

The two men are almost flying across the rocky terrain,
never losing balance, never coming close to stumbling; the
battle rages with incredible finesse, first one and then the
other gaining the advantage, and by now, it's clear that
this isn't just two athletes going at it, it's a lot more
that that. This is two legendary swashbucklers and they're
in their prime, it's Burt Lancaster in "The Crimson Pirate"
battling Errol Flynn in "Robin Hood" and then, incredibly,
the action begins going even faster than before as we

						CUT TO:

INIGO

And behind him now, drawing closer all the time, is the
deadly edge of the Cliffs of Insanity. Inigo fights and
ducks and feints and slashes and it all works, but not for
long, as gradually the Man In Black keeps the advantage,
keeps forcing Inigo back, closer and closer to death.
							  32.


		INIGO
		(happy as a clam)
	You are wonderful!

		MAN IN BLACK
	Thank you -- I've worked hard to
	become so.

The Cliff edge is very close now. Inigo is continually being
forced toward it.

		INIGO
	I admit it -- you are better than
	I am.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Then why are you smiling?

Inches from defeat, Inigo is, in fact, all smiles.

		INIGO
	Because I know something you
	don't know.

		MAN IN BLACK
	And what is that?

		INIGO
	I am not left-handed.

And he throws the six-fingered sword into his right hand and
immediately, the tide of battle turns.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

stunned, doing everything be can to keep Inigo by the Cliff
edge. But no use. Slowly at first, he begins to retreat. Now
faster, Inigo is in control and the Man In Black is desperate.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

and the six-fingered sword is all but invisible now, as he
increases his attack, then suddenly switches styles again.

						CUT TO:
							  33.


A ROCKY STAIRCASE leading to a turret-shaped plateau, and
the Man In Black is retreating like mad up the steps and he
can't stop Inigo -- nothing can stop Inigo -- and in a
frenzy, the Man In Black makes every feint, tries every
thrust, lets go with all he has left. But he fails.
Everything fails. He tries one or two final desperate moves
but they are nothing.

		MAN IN BLACK
	You're amazing!

		INIGO
	I ought to be after twenty years.

And now the Man In Black is smashed into a stone pillar,
pinned there under the six fingered sword.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(hollering it out)
	There's something I ought to tell
	you.

		INIGO
	Tell me.

		MAN IN BLACK
	I am not left-handed either.

And now he changes hands, and at last, the battle is fully
joined.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

And to his amazement, he is being forced back down the steps.
He tries one style, another, but it all comes down to the
same thing -- the Man In Black seems to be in control. And
before Inigo knows it, the six-fingered sword is knocked
clear out of his hand.

Inigo retreats, dives from the stairs to a moss-covered bar
suspended over the archway. He swings out, lands, and
scrambles to his sword and we

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

who watches Inigo, then casually tosses his sword to the
landing where it sticks in perfectly. Then the Man In Black
copies INIGO. Not copies exactly, improves.
							  34.


He dives to the bar, swings completely over it like a circus
performer and dismounts with a backflip.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

staring in awe.

		INIGO
	Who are you?!

		MAN IN BLACK
	No one of consequence.

		INIGO
	I must know.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Get used to disappointment.

		INIGO
	Okay.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

moving like lightning, and he thrusts forward, slashes,
darts back, all in almost a single movement and --

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

Dodging, blocking, and again he thrusts forward, faster even
than before, and again he slashes but --

						CUT TO:

INIGO

And there is never a move anyone makes he doesn't remember,
and this time he blocks the slash, slashes out himself with
the sixfingered sword.

On it goes, back and forth across the rocky terrain, Inigo's
feet moving with the grace and speed of a great
improvisational dancer.

						CUT TO:
							  35.


THE SIX-FINGERED SWORD

as it is knocked free, arching up into the air, and --

						CUT TO:

INIGO

catching it again. And something terrible is written behind
his eyes: he has given his all, done everything man can do,
tried every style, made every maneuver, but it wasn't
enough, and on his face for all to see is the realization
that he, Inigo Montoya of Spain, is going to lose.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

moving in for the end now, blocking everything, muzzling
everything and

						CUT TO:

THE SIX-FINGERED SWORD

sent flying from Inigo's grip. He stands helpless only a
moment. Then be drops to his knees, bows his head, shuts his
eyes.

		INIGO
	Kill me quickly.

		MAN IN BLACK
	I would as soon destroy a stained
	glass window as an artist like
	yourself. However, since I can't
	have you following me either --

And he dunks Inigo's head with his heavy sword handle. Inigo
pitches forward unconscious.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Please understand, I hold you in
	the highest respect.

He grabs his scabbard and takes off after the Princess and we

						CUT TO:

CLOSE UP: VIZZINI

		VIZZINI
	Inconceivable!
							  36.


PULL BACK TO REVEAL

Vizzini, staring down from a narrow mountain path, as far
below the Man In Black can be seen running. FEZZIK, carrying
the Princess, stands alongside. It's a little later in the
morning.

		VIZZINI
	Give her to me.
		(grabs Buttercup
		starts off)
	Catch up with us quickly.

		FEZZIK
		(starting to panic)
	What do I do?

		VIZZINI
	Finish him, finish him. Your way.

		FEZZIK
	Oh, good, my way. Thank you,
	Vizzini.
		(little pause)
	Which way is my way?

						CUT TO:

A COUPLE OF ROCKS

Nothing gigantic. Vizzini points to them. There is a large
boulder nearby.

		VIZZINI
	Pick up one of those rocks, get
	behind the boulder, and in a few
	minutes, the Man in Black will
	come running around the bend. The
	minute his head is in view, hit
	it with the rock!

As Vizzini and Buttercup hurry away.

		FEZZIK
		(little frown; softly)
	My way's not very sportsmanlike.

He grabs one of the rocks and plods behind the boulder and
we --

						DISSOLVE TO:
							  37.


THE MAN IN BLACK

racing up the mountain trail. Ahead is a bend in the trail.
He sees it, slows. Then he stops, listening.

Satisfied by the silence, he starts forward again and as he
rounds the bend -- a rock flies INTO FRAME, shattering on a
boulder inches in front of him.

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK

He moves into the mountain path. He has picked up another
rock and holds it lightly.

		FEZZIK
	I did that on purpose. I don't
	have to miss.

		MAN IN BLACK
	I believe you -- So what happens
	now?

		FEZZIK
	We face each other as God intended.
	Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no
	weapons, skill against skill alone.

		MAN IN BLACK
	You mean, you'll put down your
	rock and I'll put down my sword,
	and we'll try to kill each other
	like civilized people?

		FEZZIK
		(gently)
	I could kill you now.

He gets set to throw, but the Man In Black shakes his head,
takes off his sword and scabbard, begins the approach toward
the Giant.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Frankly, I think the odds are
	slightly in your favor at hand
	fighting.

		FEZZIK
	It's not my fault being the
	biggest and the strongest. I
	don't even exercise.
							  38.


He flips the rock away.

						CUT TO:

THE MOUNTAIN PATH AND THE TWO MEN

The Man In Black is not now and has never been a shrimp. But
it's like he wasn't even there, FEZZIK towers over him so
much.

There is a moment's pause, and then the Man In Black dives
at FEZZIK's chest, slams him several tremendous blows in the
stomach, twists his arm severely, slips skillfully into a
beautifully applied bear hug, and in general makes any
number of terrific wrestling moves.

FEZZIK just stands there, kind of taking in the scenery.
Finally the Man In Black pushes himself away, stares up at
the Giant.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Look are you just fiddling around
	with me or what?

		FEZZIK
	I just want you to feel you're
	doing well. I hate for people to
	die embarrassed.

They get set to begin again. Then suddenly --

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK

as he jumps forward with stunning speed for anyone his size
and reaches for the Man In Black who drops to his knees,
spins loose, and slips between the Giant's legs.

		FEZZIK
	You're quick.

		MAN IN BLACK
	And a good thing too.

		FEZZIK
		(getting set for
		another onslaught)
	Why do you wear a mask? Were you
	burned by acid, or something like
	that?
							  39.


		MAN IN BLACK
	Oh no. It's just that they're
	terribly comfortable. I think
	everyone will be wearing them in
	the future.

FEZZIK considers this a moment, then attacks, and if he
moved quickly last time, this time he is blinding and as the
Man In Black slips down to avoid the charge, FEZZIK moves
right with him, only instead of twisting free and jumping to
his feet, this time the Man In Black jumps for FEZZIK's back
and in a moment he is riding him, and his arms have FEZZIK's
throat, locked across FEZZIK's windpipe, one in front, one
behind. The Man In Black begins to squeeze. Tighter.

		FEZZIK
		(standing, talking as
		he does so)
	I just figured out why you give
	me so much trouble.

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK

as he charges toward a huge rock that lines the path, and
just as he reaches it he spins his giant body so that the
entire weight of the charge is taken by the Man In Black.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

And the power of the charge is terrible, the pain enormous,
but he clings to his grip at FEZZIK's windpipe.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(his arms never leave
		Fezzik's throat)
	Why is that, do you think?

		FEZZIK
		(his voice just
		beginning to get a
		little strained)
	Well, I haven't fought just one
	person for so long. I've been
	specializing in groups. Battling
	gangs for local charities, that
	kind of thing.

						CUT TO:
							  40.


ANOTHER HUGE ROCK ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PATH

Again FEZZIK charges, slower this time, but still a charge,
and again he spins and creams the Man In Black against the
rough boulder.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

And the punishment is terrible, and for a moment it seems as
if he is going to let go of Fezzik's windpipe and crumble,
but he doesn't, he holds on.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Why should that make such a
	difference?

		FEZZIK
	Well ...
		(And now his voice is
		definitely growing weaker)
	... you see, you use different
	moves when you're fighting half a
	dozen people than when you only
	have to be worried about one.

Again FEZZIK slams the Man In Black against a boulder, only
this time his power has diminished and Fezzik starts to
slowly collapse.

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK

and there isn't much breath coming.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

holding his grip as FEZZIK tries to stand, halfway makes it,
but there is no air. Back to his knees he falls, holds there
for a moment, and pitches down to all fours. The Man In
Black increases the pressure. FEZZIK tries to crawl. But
there is just no air. No air. FEZZIK goes to earth and lies
still.

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK

as the Man In Black turns him over, puts his ear to FEZZIK's
heart. It beats. The Man In Black stands.
							  41.


		MAN IN BLACK
	I don't envy you the headache you
	will have when you awake. But, in
	the meantime, rest well ... and
	dream of large women.

And he nimbly scoops up his sword with his foot, catches it
and as he dashes off up along the mountain path --

						CUT TO:

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK

as he slips his boot into a foot print in the sand.

Count Rugen mounted, watches. Behind him, half a dozen armed
WARRIORS, also mounted. A GREAT WHITE HORSE waits riderless
in front. Humperdinck is all over the rocky ground, and
maybe he isn't the best hunter in the world. Then again,
maybe he is. Because, as he begins to put his feet into
strange positions, we realize that what he is doing is
miming the fencers.

		HUMPERDINCK
	There was a mighty duel -- it
	ranged all over. They were both
	masters.

		RUGEN
	Who won? How did it end?

		HUMPERDINCK
		(looking down in the
		position where Inigo
		fell unconscious)
	The loser ran off alone.
		(points in the
		direction Vizzini and
		FEZZIK took)
	The winner followed those
	footprints toward Guilder!

		RUGEN
	Shall we track them both?

		HUMPERDINCK
	The loser is nothing. -- Only the
	Princess matters --
		(to the armed warriors)
	-- clearly this was all planned
	by warriors of Guilder. We must
	be ready for whatever lies ahead.
							  42.


		RUGEN
	Could this be a trap?

		HUMPERDINCK
		(vaulting onto his horse)
	I always think everything could
	be a trap -- Which is why I'm
	still alive.

And he gallops off --

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

cresting the peak of the mountain.

						CUT TO:

CLOSE-UP ON

a knife pointed at a throat -- PULL BACK TO REVEAL Vizzini
munching on an apple, holding the knife to Buttercup's
throat. She is blindfolded.

A PICNIC SPREAD is laid out. A tablecloth, two goblets and
between them, a small leather wine container. And some
cheese and a couple of apples. The picnic is set on a lovely
spot, high on the edge of a mountain path with a view all
the way back to the sea.

The Man In Black comes running around the path, sees Vizzini,
slows. The two men study each other. Then --

		VIZZINI
	So, it is down to you. And it is
	down to me.

The Man In Black nods and comes nearer --

		VIZZINI
	If you wish her dead, by all
	means keep moving forward.

And he pushes his long knife harder against Buttercup's
unprotected throat.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Let me explain-

		VIZZINI
	-- there's nothing to explain.
	You're trying to kidnap what I've
	rightfully stolen.
							  43.


		MAN IN BLACK
	Perhaps an arrangement can be
	reached.

		VIZZINI
	There will be no arrangement --
		(deliberate)
	-- and you're killing her!

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP'S THROAT

as Vizzini jabs with his long knife. Buttercup gasps against
the pain.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

stopping fast.

		MAN IN BLACK
	But if there can be no
	arrangement, then we are at an
	impasse.

		VIZZINI
	I'm afraid so -- I can't compete
	with you physically. And you're
	no match for my brains.

		MAN IN BLACK
	You're that smart?

		VIZZINI
	Let me put it this way: have you
	ever heard of Plato, Aristotle,
	Socrates?

		MAN IN BLACK
	Yes.

		VIZZINI
	Morons.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Really? In that case, I challenge
	you to a battle of wits.

		VIZZINI
	For the Princess?

The Man In Black nods.
							  44.


		VIZZINI
	To the death?

Another nod.

		VIZZINI
	I accept.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Good. Then pour the wine.

As Vizzini fills the goblets with the dark red liquid, the
Man In Black pulls a small packet from his clothing, handing
it to Vizzini.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Inhale this, but do not touch.

		VIZZINI
		(doing it)
	I smell nothing.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(taking the packet back)
	What you do not smell is called
	iocane powder. It is odorless,
	tasteless, dissolves instantly in
	liquid, and is among the more
	deadlier poisons known to man.

		VIZZINI
	Hmm.

						CUT TO:

VIZZINI

watching excitedly as the Man In Black takes the goblets,
turns his back. A moment later, he turns again, faces
Vizzini, drops the iocane packet. It is now empty.

The Man In Black rotates the goblets in a little shell game
maneuver then puts one glass in front of Vizzini, the other
in front of himself.

		MAN IN BLACK
	All right: where is the poison?
	The battle of wits has begun. It
	ends when you decide and we both
	drink, and find out who is right
	and who is dead.
							  45.


		VIZZINI
	But it's so simple. All I have to
	do is divine from what I know of
	you. Are you the sort of man who
	would put the poison into his own
	goblet, or his enemy's?

He studies the Man In Black now.

		VIZZINI
	Now, a clever man would put the
	poison into his own goblet,
	because he would know that only a
	great fool would reach for what
	he was given. I'm not a great
	fool, so I can clearly not choose
	the wine in front of you. But you
	must have known I was not a great
	fool; you would have counted on
	it, so I can clearly not choose
	the wine in front of me.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(And now there's a
		trace of nervousness beginning)
	You've made your decision then7

		VIZZINI
	Not remotely. Because iocane
	comes from Australia, as everyone
	knows. And Australia is entirely
	peopled with criminals. And
	criminals are used to having
	people not trust them, as you are
	not trusted by me. So I can
	clearly not choose the wine in
	front of you.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Truly, you have a dizzying
	intellect.

		VIZZINI
	Wait till I get going! Where was I?

		MAN IN BLACK
	Australia.

		VIZZINI
	Yes -- Australia, and you must
	have suspected I would have known
	the powder's origin, so I can
	clearly not choose the wine in
	front of me.
							  46.


		MAN IN BLACK
		(very nervous)
	You're just stalling now.

		VIZZINI
		(cackling)
	You'd like to think that, wouldn't
	you?
		(stares at the Man in Black)
	You've beaten my giant, which
	means you're exceptionally strong.
	So, you could have put the poison
	in your own goblet, trusting on
	your strength to save you. So I
	can clearly not choose the wine
	in front of you. But, you've also
	bested my Spaniard which means
	you must have studied. And in
	studying, you must have learned
	that man is mortal so you would
	have put the poison as far from
	yourself as possible, so I can
	clearly not choose the wine in
	front of me.

As Vizzini's pleasure has been growing throughout, the Man
In Black's has been fast disappearing.

		MAN IN BLACK
	You're trying to trick me into
	giving away something -- it won't
	work --

		VIZZINI
		(triumphant)
	It has worked -- you've given
	everything away -- I know where
	the poison is.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(fool's courage)
	Then make your choice.

		VIZZINI
	I will. And I choose --

And suddenly he stops, points at something behind the Man In
Black.

		VIZZINI
	-- what in the world can that be?

						CUT TO:
							  47.


THE MAN IN BLACK

turning around, looking.

		MAN IN BLACK
	What? Where? I don't see anything.

						CUT TO:

VIZZINI

busily switching the goblets while the Man In Black has his
head turned.

		VIZZINI
	Oh, well, I-I could have sworn I
	saw something. No matter.

The Man In Black turns to face him again. Vizzini starts to
laugh.

		MAN IN BLACK
	What's so funny?

		VIZZINI
	I'll tell you in a minute. First,
	let's drink -- me from my glass,
	and you from yours.

And he picks up his goblet. The Man In Black picks up the
one in front of him. As they both start to drink, Vizzini
hesitates a moment.

Then, allowing the Man In Black to drink first, he swallows
his wine.

		MAN IN BLACK
	You guessed wrong.

		VIZZINI
		(roaring with laughter)
	You only think I guessed wrong --
		(louder now)
	-- that's what's so funny! I
	switched glasses when your back
	was turned. You fool.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

There's nothing he can say. He just sits there.

						CUT TO:
							  48.


VIZZINI

watching him.

		VIZZINI
	You fell victim to one of the
	classic blunders. The most famous
	is "Never get involved in a land
	war in Asia." But only slightly
	less well known is this: "Never
	go in against a Sicilian when
	death is on the line."

He laughs and roars and cackles and whoops and is in all
ways quite cheery until he falls over dead.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

stepping past the corpse, taking the blindfold and bindings
off Buttercup, who notices Vizzini lying dead.

The Man In Black pulls her to her feet.

		BUTTERCUP
	Who are you?

		MAN IN BLACK
	I am no one to be trifled with,
	that is all you ever need know.

He starts to lead her off the mountain path into untraveled
terrain.

		BUTTERCUP
		(a final glance back
		toward Vizzini)
	To think -- all that time it was
	your cup that was poisoned.

		MAN IN BLACK
	They were both poisoned. I spent
	the last few years building up an
	immunity to iocane powder.

And with that, he takes off, dragging her behind him.

						CUT TO:
							  49.


A MOUNTAIN PATH

It's where FEZZIK fought the Man in Black. CAMERA PULLS BACK
TO REVEAL the Prince, kneeling, inspecting every grain of
misplaced sand. The others wait behind him.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Someone has beaten a giant!
		(roaring)
	There will be great suffering in
	Guilder if she dies.

He leaps onto his horse and they charge off.

						CUT TO:

A WILD STRETCH OF TERRAIN

The Man In Black comes running into view, still dragging
Buttercup, who sometimes stumbles, but he keeps forcing her
along. Finally, when she is close to exhaustion, he lets go
of her.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(his voice harsh now,
		carrying the promise
		of violence)
	Catch your breath.

		BUTTERCUP
	If you'll release me ... whatever
	you ask for ransom ... you'll get
	it, I promise you...

		MAN IN BLACK
	And what is that worth, the
	promise of a woman? You're very
	funny, Highness.

		BUTTERCUP
	I was giving you a chance. No
	matter where you take me ...
	there's no greater hunter than
	Prince Humperdinck. He could
	track a falcon on a cloudy day.
	He can find you

		MAN IN BLACK
	You think your dearest love will
	save you?
							  50.


		BUTTERCUP
	I never said he was my dearest
	love. And yes, he will save me.
	That I know.

		MAN IN BLACK
	You admit to me you do not love
	your fiance?

		BUTTERCUP
	He knows I do not love him.

		MAN IN BLACK
	"Are not capable of love" is what
	you mean.

		BUTTERCUP
	I have loved more deeply than a
	killer like yourself could ever
	dream.

And the Man In Black cocks back a fist. Buttercup flinches,
but does not retreat.

		MAN IN BLACK
	That was a warning, Highness. The
	next time, my hand flies on its
	own. For where I come from, there
	are penalties when a woman lies.

						CUT TO:

VIZZINI'S BODY

The picnic is spread as before.

CAMERA PULLS BACK TO REVEAL the Prince kneeling by the body
as the others ride up. The Prince grabs the empty poison
packet, hands it to Rugen, after first sniffing it himself.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Iocane. I'd bet my life on it.
		(gestures to the trail ahead)
	And there are the Princess's
	footprints. She is alive ... or
	was, an hour ago. If she is
	otherwise when I find her, I
	shall be very put out.

And as he vaults onto his horse and the all charge off --

						CUT TO:
							  51.


BUTTERCUP

being spun INTO CAMERA view, falling heavily as the Man In
Black releases her. We are at the edge of an almost sheer
ravine. The drop is sharp and severe. Below, the ravine
floor is flat, but getting there would not be half the fun.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Rest, Highness.

		BUTTERCUP
		(stares at him)
	I know who you are -- your
	cruelty reveals everything.

The Man In Black says nothing.

		BUTTERCUP
	You're the Dread Pirate Roberts;
	admit it.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(bowing)
	With pride. What can I do for you?

		BUTTERCUP
	You can die slowly cut into a
	thousand pieces.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Hardly complimentary, Your
	Highness. Why loose your venom on
	me?

CLOSE UP - BUTTERCUP, quietly now.

		BUTTERCUP
	You killed my love.

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

watching her closely.

		MAN IN BLACK
	It's possible; I kill a lot of
	people. Who was this love of
	yours? Another Prince, like this
	one, ugly, rich, and scabby?
							  52.


		BUTTERCUP
	No. A farm boy. Poor. Poor and
	perfect, with eyes like the sea
	after a storm.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

And probably, if she did not hate Roberts so, there would be
tears.

		BUTTERCUP
	On the high seas, your ship
	attacked, and the Dread Pirate
	Roberts never takes prisoners.

		MAN IN BLACK
		(explaining as a
		teacher might)
	I can't afford to make exceptions.
	Once word leaks out that a pirate
	has gone soft, people begin to
	disobey you, and then it's
	nothing but work, work, work, all
	the time.

		BUTTERCUP
	You mock my pain!

		MAN IN BLACK
	Life is pain, Highness. Anyone
	who says differently is selling
	something. I remember this farm
	boy of yours, I think. This would
	be, what, five years ago?

Buttercup nods.

		MAN IN BLACK
	Does it bother you to hear?

		BUTTERCUP
	Nothing you can say will upset me.

		MAN IN BLACK
	He died well, that should please
	you. No bribe attempts or
	blubbering. He simply said,
	"Please. Please, I need to live."
	It was the "please" that caught
	my memory.
		(MORE)
							  53.


		MAN IN BLACK (CONT'D)
	I asked him what was so important
	for him. "True love," he replied.
	And then he spoke of a girl of
	surpassing beauty and faithfulness.
	I can only assume he meant you.
	You should bless me for destroying
	him before he found out what you
	really are.

		BUTTERCUP
	And what am I?

		MAN IN BLACK
	Faithfulness he talked of, madam.
	Your enduring faithfulness. Now,
	tell me truly. When you found out
	he was gone, did you get engaged
	to your prince that same hour, or
	did you wait a whole week out of
	respect for the dead?

		BUTTERCUP
	You mocked me once, never do it
	again -- I died that day!

The Man In Black is about to reply as they stand there on
the edge of the sheer ravine. But then something catches his
attention and as he stares at it briefly,

						CUT TO:

HIS P.O.V.:

The dust cloud caused by Humperdinck's HORSES is rising up
into the sky.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

and while his attention is on the dust cloud, rising high,
she pushes him with all the strength she has.

		BUTTERCUP
	You can die too, for all I care!!

						CUT TO:

THE MAN IN BLACK

teetering on the ravine edge, for a moment, then he begins
to fall. Down goes the Man In Black.
							  54.


Down, down, rolling, spinning, crashing always down toward
the flat rock floor of the ravine.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

staring transfixed at what she has wrought.

There is a long pause. She stands there, alone, as from far
below the words come to her, drifting on the wind --

		MAN IN BLACK
	... as ... you ... wish...

		BUTTERCUP
	Oh, my sweet Westley; what have I
	done?

And without a second thought or consideration of the dangers,
she starts into the ravine. A moment later, she too is
falling, spinning and twisting, crashing and torn,
cartwheeling down toward what is left of her beloved.

						CUT TO:

THE DUST CLOUD

rising.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

Prince Humperdinck and the others reining in at the spot
where Buttercup promised ransom in exchange for her freedom.
The Prince shakes his head.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Disappeared. He must have seen us
	closing in, which might account
	for his panicking in error.
	Unless I'm wrong, and I am never
	wrong, they are headed dead into
	the fire swamp.

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

The mere mention of the Fire Swamp makes him pale.

						CUT TO:
							  55.


THE RAVINE FLOOR

TWO BODIES lie a few feet apart, not moving. It is, of
course, Buttercup and Westley. They might be corpses. After
a time, Westley slowly forces his body into motion and as he
does,

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

bruised and torn, as Westley crawls slowly toward her.

		WESTLEY
	Can you move at all?

		BUTTERCUP
		(weakly stretching out
		an arm toward him)
	Move? You're alive. If you want,
	I can fly.

		WESTLEY
	I told you, "I would always come
	for you." Why didn't you wait for
	me?

		BUTTERCUP
	Well ... you were dead.

		WESTLEY
	Death cannot stop true love. All
	it can do is delay it for a while.

		BUTTERCUP
	I will never doubt again.

		WESTLEY
	There will never be a need.

And now, they begin to kiss; it's a tender kiss, tender and
loving and gentle and --

		THE KID
		(off-screen)
	Oh no. No, please.

						CUT TO:

THE KID'S BEDROOM

		GRANDFATHER
	What is it? What's the matter?
							  56.


		THE KID
	They're kissing again, do we have
	to hear the kissing part?

		GRANDFATHER
	Someday, you may not mind so much.

		THE KID
	Skip on to the Fire Swamp -- that
	sounded good.

		GRANDFATHER
	Oh. You're sick, I'll humor you.
		(he picks up the book again)
	So now, where were we here? Yeah,
	yeah, yeah. Ah. Oh. Okay. Westley
	and Buttercup raced along the
	ravine floor.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP

racing along the ravine floor. Westley glances up.

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK AND HIS MEN

perched on top of the cliff, looking down at Westley and
Buttercup.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

		WESTLEY
	Ha. Your pig fiance is too late.
	A few more steps and we'll be
	safe in the Fire Swamp.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

and Westley has tried to say it with Chevalier-like
nonchalance, but she ain't buying.

		BUTTERCUP
	We'll never survive.

		WESTLEY
	Nonsense -- you're only saying
	that because no one ever has.
							  57.


As they race off, leaving Humperdinck and his men stranded,
defeated.

						CUT TO:

THE FIRE SWAMP

And it really doesn't look any worse than any other moist,
sulphurous, infernal horror you might run across. Great
trees block the sun.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP

Buttercup is clearly panicked and maybe Westley is too, but
he moves jauntily along, sword in hand.

		WESTLEY
	It's not that bad. I'm not saying
	I'd like to build a summer home
	here, but the trees are actually
	quite lovely.

THE GIANT TREES, thick and black-green, look ominous as hell
and they shield all but intermittent stripes of sun.

A GIANT SPURT OF FLAME leaps up, preceded by a slight
popping sound, and this particular spurt of flame misses
Westley, but Buttercup is suddenly onfire; at least the
lower half of her is and --

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

instantly forcing Buttercup to sit, gathering her flaming
hem in his hands, doing his best to suffocate the fire. This
isn't all that easy and it causes him a bit of grief, but he
does his best to sound as jaunty as before.

		WESTLEY
	Well now, that was an adventure.

He examines where the flames burst over her.

		WESTLEY
	Singed a bit, were you?

		BUTTERCUP
		(She wasn't and she
		shakes her head "no")
	You?
							  58.


He was, and he shakes his head "no." As he pulls her to her
feet --

						CUT TO:

THE SWAMP FLOOR

-- and as there's another popping sound,

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY GRABBING BUTTERCUP

pulling her aside to safety as another great spun of flame
suddenly shoots up.

		WESTLEY
	Well, one thing I will say. The
	Fire Swamp certainly does keep
	you on your toes.

Buttercup is frozen with fear. He takes her hand, gently
leads her forward as we-

						CUT TO:

THE TWO OF THEM

moving slowly along through a particularly dangerous part of
the Fire Swamp.

It's later now, the sun slants down at a slightly different
angle.

		WESTLEY
		(happily)
	This will all soon be but a happy
	memory because Roberts' ship
	"Revenge" is anchored at the far
	end. And I, as you know, am
	Roberts.

		BUTTERCUP
	But how is that possible, since
	he's been marauding twenty years
	and you only left me five years
	ago?

		WESTLEY
	I myself am often surprised at
	life's little quirks.
							  59.


There is again a popping sound, then a huge spurt of flame.
Westley simply picks up Buttercup as they walk along, moves
her out of danger, puts her back down, goes right on talking
without missing a beat.

		WESTLEY
	You see, what I told you before
	about saying "please" was true.
	It intrigued Roberts, as did my
	descriptions of your beauty.

						CUT TO:

SOME HIDEOUS VINES --

they look like they could be flesh eating. Westley takes his
sword, slices a path for them to follow. The vines groan as
they fall. He's been chatting away the entire time.

		WESTLEY
	Finally, Roberts decided something.
	He said, "All right, Westley,
	I've never had a valet. You can
	try it for tonight. I'll most
	likely kill you in the morning."
	Three years he said that. "Good
	night, Westley. Good work. Sleep
	well. I'll most likely kill you
	in the morning." It was a fine
	time for me. I was learning to
	fence, to fight, anything anyone
	would teach me. And Roberts and I
	eventually became friends. And
	then it happened.

		BUTTERCUP
	What? -- go on --

Westley picks her up, carrying her across some swamp water
that is bridged by a narrow, rickety tree branch.

		WESTLEY
	Well, Roberts had grown so rich,
	he wanted to retire. So he took
	me to his cabin and told me his
	secret. "I am not the Dread
	Pirate Roberts," he said. "My
	name is Ryan. I inherited this
	ship from the previous Dread
	Pirate Roberts, just as you will
	inherit it from me. The man I
	inherited it from was not the
	real Dread Pirate Roberts, either.
		(MORE)
							  60.


		WESTLEY (CONT'D)
	His name was Cummerbund. The real
	Roberts has been retired fifteen
	years and living like a king in
	Patagonia." Then he explained the
	name was the important thing for
	inspiring the necessary fear. You
	see, no one would surrender to
	the Dread Pirate Westley.

The two of them have by now crossed the pond.

		WESTLEY
	So we sailed ashore, took on an
	entirely new crew and he stayed
	aboard for awhile as first mate,
	all the time calling me Roberts.
	Once the crew believed, he left
	the ship and I have been Roberts
	ever since. Except, now that
	we're together, I shall retire
	and hand the name over to someone
	else. Is everything clear to you?

Buttercup, perplexed, is about to reply but the ground she
steps on gives way -- it's Lightning Sand -- a great patch
of it, and it has her -- a cloud of powder rises and she
sinks into the stuff crying Westley's name but then she is
gone as we --

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY WHIRLING

slashing at a U-shaped vine, hacks it in half -- it's still
connected to the tree. Then be grabs it, drops his sword,
and, clutching the other end of the vine, he dives into the
lightning sand and there is another cloud of white powder,
but it settles quickly.

Now nothing can be seen. Nothing at all. Just the lightning
sand, lovely and lethal.

HOLD ON THE LIGHTNING SAND -- THEN --

An odd panting sound is heard now. The panting sound is
suddenly very loud. And then a giant R.0.U.S. darts into
view. The R.0.U.S. -- a Rodent of Unusual Size -- is probably
no more than eighty pounds of bone and power. It sniffs
around a bit then, as quickly as it has come, it goes.

						CUT TO:
							  61.


THE LIGHTNING SAND

as Westley, lungs long past the bursting point, explodes
out; he has Buttercup across his shoulders and as he pulls
to the edge of the lightning sand pit, using the vine --

						CUT TO:

CLOSE-UP - BUTTERCUP

Her face is caked with the white powder. It is in her eyes,
her ears, hair, mouth. She's still probably beautiful, but
you have to look awfully hard to see it. As Westley continues
to pull them to safety --

						CUT TO:

THE R.0.U.S.

high above them; it watches --

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

placed against a tree. Westley is cleaning the lightning
sand from her face. He hesitates, glances around and

						CUT TO:

THE R.0.U.S.

on a much lower branch now. It stares down at Westley.

Westley stares back up at the beast. Buttercup is oblivious.
Her eyes flutter. He continues to work on her as --

		BUTTERCUP
	We'll never succeed -- we may as
	well die here.

		WESTLEY
	No. No. We have already succeeded.

He glances back again. Now THERE ARE TWO R.0.U.S.'s. The
have climbed into a nearby tree, stare hungrily down.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY, picking her up.

He puts an arm around her, starts to walk with her as he
encouragingly goes on talking.
							  62.


		WESTLEY
	I mean, what are the three
	terrors of the Fire Swamp? One,
	the flame spurts. No problem.
	There's a popping sound preceding
	each, we can avoid that. Two, the
	Lightning Sand. But you were
	clever enough to discover what
	that looks like, so in the future
	we can avoid that too.

		BUTTERCUP
	Westley, what about the R.O.U.S.'s?

		WESTLEY
	Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't
	think they exist...

And as he says that, a R.0.U.S. comes flying at him from
offscreen.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

screaming and --

Westley, pinned under the attacking R.0.U.S., trying to fend
it off. Can't. The thing's teeth sink deep into his arm. He
howls.

Westley drives a fist into the beast's face, rolling it off.
He reaches for his sword just a few feet away, but the
R.0.U.S. is back atop him. It's a fierce battle, and just
when we think Westley can't possibly win, he flips the ugly
rodent clear.

Westley scrambles for his sword. The R.0.U.S. stampedes on,
changing its target, heading right for --

Buttercup, and she's scared to death and --

		BUTTERCUP
	Westley!

Westley abandons his sword, reaching for the rodent, grabbing
only a tail, wrestling with it. Buttercup grabs a small
branch, and using it as a club, beats the skull of the
thing, doing pretty well, but the beast manages to snag her
hem with its razor teeth, and she's pulled to the ground, and

						CUT TO:
							  63.


WESTLEY

jumping onto its back, and the R.0.U.S. is all over him now,
sinking needle teeth into Westley's shoulder.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

with death close at hand, as a popping sound starts. He
tries one desperate move, rolls into the sound --

						CUT TO:

A FLAME SPURT

shooting skyward and --

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

with the R.0.U.S. pinned under him, and as the beast bursts
into flame, it lets go and Westley rolls safely free, grabs
his sword and exhaustedly stabs the R.0.U.S., which is
trying to put itself out.

The R.0.U.S. collapses dead. Westley stands motionless,
exhausted. The danger has passed.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

relieved.

						DISSOLVE TO:

THE FAR EDGE OF THE FIRE SWAMP

Beyond, a beach.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP AND WESTLEY

		BUTTERCUP
		(almost in disbelief)
	We did it.

		WESTLEY
	Now, was that so terrible?
							  64.


And from somewhere they summon strength, pick up their pace,
and as they reach the edge of the Fire Swamp --

						CUT TO:

SOMETHING WE HADN'T EXPECTED:

Humperdinck on his horse, Rugen beside him. THREE WARRIORS,
armed and ready, are mounted in formation behind. Buttercup
and Westley are at the edge of the Fire Swamp, about to
leave it. They stop. Buttercup looks beyond exhaustion.
Westley looks worse.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Surrender!

It's dusk. Behind Humperdinck are the waters of the bay.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP

staring out at the others.

		WESTLEY
	You mean you wish to surrender to
	me? Very well, I accept.

		HUMPERDINCK
	I give you full marks for
	bravery --don't make yourself a
	fool.

		WESTLEY
	Ah, but how will you capture us?
	We know the secrets of the Fire
	Swamp. We can live there quite
	happily for some time. So,
	whenever you feel like dying,
	feel free to visit.

		HUMPERDINCK
	I tell you once again -- surrender!

		WESTLEY
	It will not happen!

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

looking from one to the other; then something else catches
her eye and we --

						CUT TO:
							  65.


AN ARMED WARRIOR

in shadow, with a loaded crossbow aimed at Westley's heart.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

looking the other way --

						CUT TO:

ANOTHER WARRIOR

crossbow aimed at Westley.

		HUMPERDINCK
		(roaring)
	For the last time -- SURRENDER!

		WESTLEY
		(roaring right back, bigger)
	DEATH FIRST!!

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

frantically staring around, and now

						CUT TO:

A THIRD WARRIOR

crossbow stretched, ready to shoot; this one is hidden in a
tree blocking any escape Westley might try.

		BUTTERCUP
	Will you promise not to hurt him?

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK

whirling to face her.

		HUMPERDINCK
	What was that?

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

whirling to face her.
							  66.


		WESTLEY
	What was that?

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

talking to them both.

		BUTTERCUP
	If we surrender, and I return
	with you, will you promise not to
	hurt this man?

		HUMPERDINCK
	May I live a thousand years and
	never hunt again.

		BUTTERCUP
		(looks at Westley)
	He is a sailor on the pirate ship
	"Revenge." Promise to return him
	to his ship.

		HUMPERDINCK
	I swear it will be done.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP AND WESTLEY

staring deep into each other's eyes.

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK AND RUGEN

		HUMPERDINCK
		(whispering)
	Once we're out of sight, take him
	back to Florin and throw him in
	the Pit of Despair.

		RUGEN
		(almost a smile)
	I swear it will be done.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP AND WESTLEY

		BUTTERCUP
	I thought you were dead once, and
	it almost destroyed me. I could
	not bear it if you died again,
	not when I could save you.
							  67.


Westley is dazed. Silent.

Buttercup tries to speak again, can't, and is swooped off
her feet onto Humperdinck's horse, and off they go.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

staring after her. Rugen watches as his warriors bring
Westley to him. The Count has a heavy sword and he holds it
in his hand.

		RUGEN
	Come, sir. We must get you to
	your ship.

		WESTLEY
	We are men of action. Lies do not
	become us.

		RUGEN
	Well spoken, sir --

Westley is looking at him.

		RUGEN
	-- what is it?

		WESTLEY
	You have six fingers on your
	right hand -- someone was looking
	for you --

Count Rugen clubs Westley hard across the skull. Westley
starts to fall --the screen goes black.

FADE IN ON:

THE PIT OF DESPAIR

Dank and chill, underground and windowless, lit by flickering
torches. Frightening. Westley lies in the center of the
cage, chained and helpless.

						CUT TO:

SOMETHING REALLY FRIGHTENING: A BLOODLESS-LOOKING ALBINO

Dead pale, he silently enters the pit, carrying a tray of
food and medication. He puts it down.

		WESTLEY
	Where am I?
							  68.


		ALBINO
		(he only whispers)
	The Pit of Despair.

He begins tending Westley's wounds. Westley winces.

		ALBINO
		(garbled)
	Don't even think --
		(A hack, sputter,
		cough - now his voice
		seems normal again)
	-- don't even think about trying
	to escape. The chains are far too
	thick. And don't dream of being
	rescued either. The only way in
	is secret. And only the Prince,
	the Count, and I know how to get
	in and out.

		WESTLEY
	Then I'm here till I die?

		ALBINO
		(working away)
	Till they kill you. Yeah.

		WESTLEY
	Then why bother curing me?

		ALBINO
	The Prince and the Count always
	insist on everyone being healthy
	before they're broken.

		WESTLEY
	So it's to be torture.

The albino nods.

		WESTLEY
	I can cope with torture.

The albino shakes his head.

		WESTLEY
	You don't believe me?

		ALBINO
	You survived the Fire Swamp. You
	must be very brave...
		(little pause)
	... but nobody withstands The
	Machine.
							  69.


He studies Westley, whose face is almost sad.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

and her face is sad. Pallid, perhaps ill. She wanders down a
corridor in Florin Castle. As she moves unseeing past an
intersecting corridor:

						CUT TO:

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK AND COUNT RUGEN

watching her.

		HUMPERDINCK
	She's been like that ever since
	the Fire Swamp.
		(looks at Rugen)
	It's my father's failing health
	that's upsetting her.

		RUGEN
		(unbelieving)
	Of course.

As they move on--

						CUT TO:

FLORIN CASTLE - NIGHT

CAMERA HOLDS ON IT while we hear the Grandfather's voice
reading.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	The King died that very night,
	and before the following dawn,
	Buttercup and Humperdinck were
	married.

						CUT TO:

MAIN SQUARE OF FLORIN CASTLE

And if we thought it was packed before, we didn't know how
many more could fit in this courtyard. Humperdinck, Rugen
and the Queen stand high on the balcony.
							  70.


		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	And at noon, she met her subjects
	again. This time as their Queen.

		HUMPERDINCK
	My father's final words were...

		THE KID
		(off-screen)
	-- hold it. Hold it, Grandpa.

And the scene FREEZES, Humperdinck caught in mid-sentence.

						CUT TO:

THE KID'S ROOM

The Kid is half sitting now, not strong yet, but clearly
stronger than when we first saw him.

		THE KID
	You read that wrong. She doesn't
	marry Humperdinck, she marries
	Westley. I'm just sure of it.
	After all that Westley did for
	her, if she does not marry him,
	it wouldn't be fair.

		GRANDFATHER
	Well, who says life is fair?
	Where is that written? Life isn't
	always fair.

		THE KID
	I'm telling you you're messing up
	the story, now get it right!

		GRANDFATHER
	Do you want me to go on with this?

		THE KID
	Yes.

		GRANDFATHER
	All right, then. No more
	interruptions.
		(starts to read again)
	... at noon, she met her subjects
	again. This time as their Queen.

And on these words--

						CUT TO:
							  71.


PRINCE HUMPERDINCK

		HUMPERDINCK
	My father's final words were
	"love her as I loved her, and
	there will be joy." I present to
	you your Queen. Queen Buttercup.

And on his words--

						CUT TO:

THE CROWD

and it's gigantic.

						CUT TO:

THE ARCHWAY

we saw before, as Buttercup emerges.

						CUT TO:

THE CROWD

suddenly going to its knees, wave after wave of silent
KNEELING PEOPLE. All of them down.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

touched as before, but then she seems stunned as we

						CUT TO:

THE CROWD

SOMEONE IS BOOING! The BOOING gets louder as an ANCIENT
WOMAN approaches Buttercup through the crowd, BOOING every
step of the way.

		BUTTERCUP
	Why do you do this?

		ANCIENT BOOER
	Because you had love in your
	hands, and you gave it up.

		BUTTERCUP
		(distraught)
	But they would have killed
	Westley if I hadn't done it.
							  72.


		ANCIENT BOOER
	Your true love lives and you
	marry another --
		(to the crowd)
	-- True love saved her in the
	Fire Swamp, and she treated it
	like garbage. And that's what she
	is, the Queen of Refuse! So, bow
	down to her if you want. Bow to
	her. Bow to the Queen of Slime,
	the Queen of Filth, the Queen of
	Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish!
	Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo!

She advances on Buttercup now, who is more and more panicked.

CLOSE-UP - THE ANCIENT BOOER

Louder and louder and LOUDER she shrieks vituperation at
Buttercup, reaching out her old hands toward Buttercup's
throat, and Buttercup is as frightened now as Dorothy was
when the Witch went after her in "The Wizard of Oz", and
suddenly,

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

coming out of her nightmare, alone in her castle bedroom. As
she frantically grabs a robe and starts to run.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen, still reading)
	It was ten days till the wedding.
	The King still lived, but
	Buttercup's nightmares were
	growing steadily worse.

		THE KID
		(off-screen)
	See? Didn't I tell you she'd
	never marry that rotten
	Humperdinck?

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	-- yes, you're very smart. Shut-Up.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

bursting into the Prince's chambers. Count Rugen stands
nearby.
							  73.


		BUTTERCUP
	It comes to this: I love Westley.
	I always have. I know now I
	always will. If you tell me I
	must marry you in ten days,
	please believe I will be dead by
	morning.

						CUT TO:

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK

Just stunned. Finally, softly, he begins to talk.

		HUMPERDINCK
	I could never cause you grief;
	consider our wedding off.
		(to Rugen)
	You returned this Westley to his
	ship?

		RUGEN
	Yes.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Then we will simply alert him.
		(to Buttercup now)
	Beloved, are you certain he still
	wants you? After all, it was you
	who did the leaving in the Fire
	Swamp. Not to mention that
	pirates are not known to be men
	of their words.

		BUTTERCUP
	My Westley will always come for me.

		HUMPERDINCK
	I suggest a deal. You write four
	copies of a letter. I'll send my
	four fastest ships. One in each
	direction. The Dread Pirate
	Roberts is always close to Florin
	this time of year. We'll run up
	the white flag and deliver your
	message. If Westley wants you,
	bless you both. If not ... please
	consider me as an alternative to
	suicide. Are we agreed?

And she nods --

						CUT TO:
							  74.


A VERY THICK GROVE OF TREES

The trees are unusual in one respect: all of them are
extraordinarily heavily knotted.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

Humperdinck and Rugen, walking into the grove of trees.

		RUGEN
	Your Princess is really a winning
	creature. A trifle simple,
	perhaps, but her appeal is
	undeniable.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Oh, I know. The people are quite
	taken with her. It's odd, but
	when I hired Vizzini to have her
	murdered on our engagement day, I
	thought that was clever. But it's
	going to be so much more moving
	when I strangle her on our
	wedding night. Once Guilder is
	blamed, the nation will be truly
	outraged. They'll demand we go to
	war.

They are deeper into the grove now. Rugen is searching around.

		RUGEN
	Now, where is that secret knot?
	It's impossible to find.
		(Finding the knot on
		the tree he hits it,
		and it opens, revealing
		a staircase leading underground.)
	Are you coming down into the Pit?
	Westley's got his strength back.
	I am starting him on The Machine
	tonight.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Tyrone, you know how much I love
	watching you work. But, I've got
	my country's five hundredth
	anniversary to plan, my wedding
	to arrange, My wife to murder,
	and Guilder to frame for it. I'm
	swamped.
							  75.


		RUGEN
	Get some rest -- if you haven't
	got your health, you haven't got
	anything.

Rugen smiles and hurries down the stairs as the tree slides
back perfectly into place.

						CUT TO:

AN ENORMOUS THING

We can't tell quite what it is or what it does, but somehow
it is unsettling.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

Count Rugen, dragging Westley up alongside the thing --
Levers and wheels and wires, you name it, it's there.

		RUGEN
	Beautiful, isn't it?

The Albino starts attaching suction cups to Westley.

		RUGEN
	It took me half a lifetime to
	invent it. I'm sure you've
	discovered my deep and abiding
	interest in pain. At present I'm
	writing the definitive work on
	the subject. So I want you to be
	totally honest with me on how The
	Machine makes you feel.

						CUT TO:

A DIAL

with numbers ranging from a low of "1" to a high of "50."
Rugen goes to it.

		RUGEN
	This being our first try, I'll
	use the lowest setting.

And he turns the dial to "1".

						CUT TO:
							  76.


WESTLEY

He has suction cups on his head now, on his temple, on his
heart, his hands and feet. He says nothing, keeps control of
himself

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

fiddling with his Machine a moment more. And then he opens
the flood gate, water pours down the chute, turning the
wheel, which in turn really gets The Machine going.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

and he's lying on the table, and he's only flesh and the
chains are metal and thick, but such is his desperation it
almost seems he might break them. A terrible sound comes
from his throat, an incessant gasping. It keeps on coming as
we finally

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

He switches off The Machine, picks up a large notebook and
pen, sits in a chair. The NOISE of The Machine subsides.
Rugen opens the book to a blank page.

		RUGEN
	As you know, the concept of the
	suction pump is centuries old.
	Well, really, that's all this is.
	Except that instead of sucking
	water, I'm sucking life. I've
	just sucked one year of your life
	away. I might one day go as high
	as five, but I really don't know
	what that would do to you. So,
	let's just start with what we
	have. What did this do to you?
	Tell me. And remember, this is
	for posterity, so be honest --
	how do you feel?

AND NOW, AT LAST:

						CUT TO:
							  77.


WESTLEY

in anguish so deep it is dizzying. Helpless, he cries.

Count Rugen watches the tears, then starts to write.

		RUGEN
	Interesting.

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK

in his quarters, swamped. Piles of papers are strewn all
over. Now YELLIN, a pale, shifty, quick-eyed man appears in
the doorway.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Yellin.

		YELLIN
		(bows, then kneels)
	Sire.

		HUMPERDINCK
	As Chief Enforcer of all Florin,
	I trust you with this secret:
	killers from Guilder are
	infiltrating the Thieves' Forest
	and plan to murder my bride on
	our wedding night.

		YELLIN
	My spy network has heard no such
	news.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

entering.

		BUTTERCUP
	Any word from Westley?

						CUT TO:

THE PRINCE AND YELLIN

turning to her in the doorway.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Too soon, my angel. Patience.
							  78.


		BUTTERCUP
	He will come for me.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Of course.

As she glides out--

		HUMPERDINCK
	She will not be murdered. On the
	day of the wedding, I want the
	Thieves' Forest emptied and every
	inhabitant arrested.

		YELLIN
	Many of the thieves will resist.
	My regular enforcers will be
	inadequate.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Form a Brute Squad then. I want
	the Thieves' Forest emptied
	before I wed.

		YELLIN
	It won't be easy, Sire.

		HUMPERDINCK
		(alone, exhausted)
	Try ruling the world sometime.

						CUT TO:

THE THIEVES' FOREST - DAY

A lot of hollering is going on. The THIEVES are being
rounded up by the BRUTE SQUAD, a large group of large men.
Yellin stands on a wagon in the midst of all the scuffling.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	The day of the wedding arrived.
	The Brute Squad had their hands
	full carrying out Humperdinck's
	orders.

		YELLIN
		(to an unpleasantlooking
		assistant)
	Is everybody out?

		ASSISTANT BRUTE
	Almost. There's a Spaniard giving
	us some trouble.
							  79.


		YELLIN
	Well, you give him some trouble.
	Move!

And his wagon starts, and as it does,

						CUT TO:

INIGO

drunk as a skunk, sprawled in front of a hovel, a bottle of
brandy in one hand, the six-fingered sword in the other. He
looks dreadful. Unshaven, puffy-eyed, gaunt. But the way he
brandishes the great sword in front of him would give anyone
cause for worry.

		INIGO
	I am waiting for you, Vizzini.
	You told me to go back to the
	beginning. So I have. This is
	where I am, and this is where
	I'll stay. I will not be moved.

He takes a long pull from his brandy bottle. He stops as the
Assistant Brute comes into view.

		ASSISTANT BRUTE
	Ho there.

		INIGO
	I do not budge. Keep your "Ho
	there."

He waves his sword dangerously.

		ASSISTANT BRUTE
	But the Prince gave orders --

		INIGO
	-- So did Vizzini -- when a job
	went wrong, you went back to the
	beginning. And this is where we
	got the job. So it's the
	beginning, and I'm staying till
	Vizzini comes.

		ASSISTANT BRUTE
		(gesturing off-screen)
	You! Brute! Come here.

		INIGO
	-- I -- am -- waiting -- for --
	Vizzini --
							  80.


		VOICE
		(off-screen)
	You surely are a meanie.

INIGO feels a hand on his back. A huge hand. He compares it
to his own smaller hand.

		FEZZIK
	Hello.

		INIGO
	It's you.

		FEZZIK
	True!

And as the Assistant Brute is just about to club Inigo's
brains out, FEZZIK lets fly with a stupendous punch.

The Assistant Brute takes the full force of the blow right
in the chops. It's like he was shot from a cannon as he
careens backwards out of sight across the street.

There is a pause. Then a crunching sound, as he clearly has
come in contact with something hard and immobile.

FEZZIK puts Inigo down.

		FEZZIK
	You don't look so good.
		(after Inigo blasts
		air in protest)
	You don't smell so good either.

		INIGO
	Perhaps not. I feel fine.

		FEZZIK
	Yeah?

And so FEZZIK puts Inigo down. That's when Inigo faints, and
as he does,

						CUT TO:

AN EMPTY ALEHOUSE IN THE THIEVES' QUARTER

Inigo sits slumped in a chair, while FEZZIK spoons him some
stew.
							  81.


		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	FEZZIK and Inigo were reunited.
	And as FEZZIK nursed his
	inebriated friend back to health,
	he told Inigo of Vizzini's death
	and the existence of Count Rugen,
	the sixfingered man. Considering
	Inigo's lifelong search, he
	handled the news surprisingly well.

And he faints again into his stew.

						CUT TO:

TWO LARGE TUBS

one filled with steaming water, the other with water clearly
of an icy nature. Without a word FEZZIK stuffs Inigo's head
into the icy water, then, after a reasonable amount of time,
pulls him out, ducks him into the steaming stuff, and, a
short time after that, puts him back in the cold again, then
back in the hot --

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	Fezzik took great care in reviving
	Inigo.

		INIGO
		(up and going)
	That's enough. That's enough!
	Where is this Rugen so I may kill
	him?

		FEZZIK
	He's with the Prince in the
	Castle. But the castle gate is
	guarded by thirty men.

		INIGO
	How many could you handle?

		FEZZIK
	I don't think more than ten.

		INIGO
		(doing the math on his fingers)
	That leaves twenty for me. At my
	best, I could never defeat that
	many.
		(he sinks sadly down)
	I need Vizzini to plan. I have no
	gift for strategy.
							  82.


		FEZZIK
	But Vizzini's dead.

						CUT TO:

THE TWO OF THEM

Silent and bereft. Then a wild look hits Inigo.

		INIGO
	No -- not Vizzini -- I need the
	Man in Black --

		FEZZIK
	-- what? --

		INIGO
	-- look, he bested you with
	strength, your greatness. He
	bested me with steel. He must
	have outthought Vizzini, and a
	man who can do that can plan my
	castle's onslaught any day. Let's
	go --

		FEZZIK
	-- where?

		INIGO
	To find the Man in Black,
	obviously.

		FEZZIK
	But you don't know where he is.

		INIGO
		(he is possessed by
		demons now)
	Don't bother me with trifles;
	after twenty years, at last, my
	father's soul will be at peace.

						CUT TO:

CLOSE UP - INIGO

		INIGO
		(big)
	There will be blood tonight!!

						CUT TO:
							  83.


PRINCE HUMPERDINCK'S CHAMBERS

-- strewn with maps, etc. Yellin enters, and kneels.

		HUMPERDINCK
		(sharpening his dagger)
	Rise and report.

		YELLIN
	The Thieves' Forest is emptied.
	Thirty men guard the castle gate.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Double it. My Princess must be
	safe.

		YELLIN
	The gate has but one key, and I
	carry that.

He shows the key, dangling from a chain around his neck.
Just at that moment, Buttercup enters.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Ah! My dulcet darling. Tonight we
	marry. Tomorrow morning, your men
	will escort us to Florin Channel
	where every ship in my armada
	waits to accompany us on our
	honeymoon.

		BUTTERCUP
	Every ship but your four fastest,
	you mean.

The Prince looks at her blankly for a moment.

		BUTTERCUP
	Every ship but the four you sent.

		HUMPERDINCK
	Yes. Yes, of course. Naturally,
	not those four.

		YELLIN
		(bows, exits)
	Your Majesties.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

staring at Humperdinck.
							  84.


		BUTTERCUP
	You never sent the ships. Don't
	bother lying. It doesn't matter.
	Westley will come for me anyway.

		HUMPERDINCK
		(sharply)
	You're a silly girl.

		BUTTERCUP
	Yes, I am a silly girl, for not
	having seen sooner that you were
	nothing but a coward with a heart
	full of fear.

		HUMPERDINCK
		(close to erupting;
		speaks very distinctly)
	I-would-not-say-such things-if-
	Iwere-you-

		BUTTERCUP
	Why not? You can't hurt me.
	Westley and I are joined by the
	bonds of love. And you cannot
	track that. Not with a thousand
	bloodhounds. And you cannot break
	it. Not with a thousand swords.
	And when I say you are a coward,
	that is only because you are the
	slimiest weakling ever to crawl
	the earth.

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK

jumping at her, yanking her by the hair, starting to pull
her along, out of control, his words indistinct.

		HUMPERDINCK
	IWOULDNOTSAYSUCHTHINGSIFIWEREYOU!

						CUT TO:

A CORRIDOR OF THE CASTLE

as the Prince throws open the door to Buttercup's room,
slams it shut, locks it, breaks into a wild run and --

						CUT TO:
							  85.


WESTLEY IN THE MACHINE

but it's not on. Count Rugen is adding more notes to his
book. He looks up as the Prince suddenly comes down the
steps, raging.

		HUMPERDINCK
		(at Westley)
	You truly love each other, and so
	you might have been truly happy.
	Not one couple in a century has
	that chance, no matter what the
	storybooks say. And so I think no
	man in a century will suffer as
	greatly as you will.

And with that he whirls, turns on The Machine, grabs the
lever and --

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

calling out --

		RUGEN
	Not to fifty!!!

But it's too late as we --

						CUT TO:

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK

shoving the lever all the way up and

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY'S FACE

And there has never been such pain. The pain grows and grows
and with it now, something else has started

THE DEATH SCREAM. As The Death Scream starts to rise --

						CUT TO:

OUTSIDE THE PIT OF DESPAIR

as the SOUND moves along, LOUDER AND LOUDER, and --

						CUT TO:
							  86.


YELLIN AND HIS SIXTY BRUTES

and they bear it, and a few of the Brutes turn to each other
in fear, and as the scream builds --

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP IN HER ROOM

and she hears the SOUND, doesn't know what it is, but her
arms involuntarily go around her body to try to control the
trembling, and the scream, still builds and --

						CUT TO:

ESTABLISHING SHOT ACROSS THE RIVER

There are many PEOPLE --it is the day of the country's 500th
Anniversary -- but all the People stop as the sound hits
them. A few CHILDREN pale, bolt toward their PARENTS and --

						CUT TO:

INIGO AND FEZZIK

trying to make their way through the jammed marketplace,
which suddenly quiets as the fading sound comes through.

		INIGO
		(instantly)


FEZZIK, FEZZIK, listen, do you hear? -- That is the sound of
ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Rugen
slaughtered my father. The Man in Black makes it now.

		FEZZIK
	The Man in Black?

		INIGO
	His true love is marrying another
	tonight, so who else has cause
	for Ultimate Suffering?
		(trying to push through)
	Excuse me --

It's too crowded.

		INIGO
	-- pardon me, it's important --

No one budges and the sound is fading faster.
							  87.


		INIGO
	-- Fezzik, please --

		FEZZIK
		(gigantic and roaring)
	Everybody ... MOVE!!

And the Crowd begins to fall away, and he and Inigo start to
track the FADING SOUND.

		INIGO
	Thank you.

						CUT TO:

A GROVE OF TREES NEAR THE PIT OF DESPAIR

The Albino appears wheeling a barrow. Inigo's sword pushes
at his chest.

		INIGO
	Where is the Man in Black?

The Albino shakes his head, says nothing.

		INIGO
	You get there from this grove, yes?

Silence.

		INIGO
	Fezzik, jog his memory.

And Fezzik crunches the Albino on the top of the head as if
he had a hammer and was driving in a nail. The Albino drops
without a sound.

		FEZZIK
		(upset)
	I'm sorry, Inigo. I didn't mean
	to jog him so hard. Inigo?

						CUT TO:

INIGO

He kneels, the sword held tight between his hands. Eyes
closed, he faces the grove of trees, starts to talk, his
voice low and strange.
							  88.


		INIGO
	Father, I have failed you for
	twenty years. Now our misery can
	end. Somewhere ... somewhere
	close by is a man who can help us.
	I cannot find him alone. I need
	you. I need you to guide my sword.
	Please.

And now he rises, eyes still closed.

		INIGO
	Guide my sword.

						CUT TO:

THE GROVE OF TREES

as Inigo, eyes shut tight, walks forward, the great sword
held in his hands.

Fezzik, frightened, follows close behind.

						CUT TO:

THE SECRET KNOT

that reveals the staircase.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

walking blind through the grove of trees. He moves to the
Secret Knot, hesitates, then moves past it.

Then Inigo stops. For a long moment he stands frozen.
Suddenly he whirls, eyes still closed, and the sword strikes
home dead center into a knot and --

Nothing. He has failed.

In utter despair he collapses against the tree. Against a
knot in the tree. Against THE KNOT in the tree. It slides
away, revealing the staircase. FEZZIK and Inigo look at each
other, then start down.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

dead by The Machine. FEZZIK leans over him, listening for a
heartbeat. Then he looks at Inigo, shakes his head.
							  89.


		FEZZIK
	He's dead.

Inigo is in despair. For a moment, he just sags.

		INIGO
		(barely able to speak)
	It just is not fair.

		THE KID
		(off-screen)
	-- Grandpa, Grandpa -- wait --

						CUT TO:

THE KID'S ROOM

He is terribly excited and looks stronger than we've yet
seen him.

		THE KID
	-- wait -- what did FEZZIK mean,
	"He's dead?" I mean he didn't
	mean dead.

The Grandfather says nothing, just sits there.

		THE KID
	Westley's only faking, right?

		GRANDFATHER
	You want me to read this or not?

						CUT TO:

THE KID: CLOSE UP

		THE KID
	Who gets Humperdinck?

		GRANDFATHER
	I don't understand.

		THE KID
	Who kills Prince Humperdinck? At
	the end, somebody's got to do it.
	Is it Inigo? Who?

		GRANDFATHER
	Nobody. Nobody kills him. He lives.
							  90.


		THE KID
	You mean he wins? Jesus, Grandpa!
	What did you read me this thing
	for?

And he desperately fights for control.

		GRANDFATHER
	You know, you've been very sick
	and you're taking this story very
	seriously. I think we better stop
	now.

He closes the book and starts to get up.

		THE KID
		(shaking his head)
	No! I'm okay. I'm okay.
		(gestures toward the chair)
	-- sit down. All right?

		GRANDFATHER
	Okay.
		(sitting and opening
		the book again)
	All right, now, let's see. Where
	were we? Oh yes. In the Pit of
	Despair.

						CUT TO:

INIGO, IN DESPAIR

We're back in the Pit, the same shot as before. For a
moment, he just sags.

		INIGO
	Well, we Montoyas have never
	taken defeat easily. Come along,
	Fezzik. Bring the body.

		FEZZIK
	The body?

		INIGO
		(not stopping)
	Have you any money?

		FEZZIK
	I have a little.

		INIGO
	I just hope it's enough to buy a
	miracle, that's all.
							  91.


As Fezzik takes the corpse, follows Inigo up the stairs --

						CUT TO:

A HOVEL - DUSK

Inigo, FEZZIK, Westley approach the door. They knock. From
inside the hovel a little man's voice is heard. If Mel
Brooks' Year Old Man was really old, he'd resemble this guy.

		LITTLE OLD GUY
		(off-screen)
	Go away!

Inigo pounds again.

		MIRACLE MAX
		(opening a small
		window in the door)
	What? What?

		INIGO
	Are you the Miracle Max who
	worked for the King all those
	years?

		MIRACLE MAX
	The King's stinking son fired me.
	And thank you so much for bringing
	up such a painful subject. While
	you're at it, why don't you give
	me a nice paper cut and pour
	lemon juice on it? We're closed!

He shuts the window. They rap on the door.

		MIRACLE MAX
		(opening the window)
	Beat it or I'll call the Brute
	Squad.

		FEZZIK
	I'm on the Brute Squad.

		MIRACLE MAX
		(looking at the Giant)
	You are the Brute Squad.

		INIGO
	We need a miracle. It's very
	important.
							  92.


		MIRACLE MAX
	Look, I'm retired. And besides,
	why would you want someone the
	King's stinking son fired? I
	might kill whoever you wanted me
	to miracle.

		INIGO
	He's already dead.

		MIRACLE MAX
		(for the first time, interested)
	He is, eh? I'll take a look.
	Bring him in.

He unlocks the door and lets them in.

						CUT TO:

INIGO AND FEZZIK

hurrying inside. FEZZIK carries Westley who is just starting
to stiffen up a little. He lays Westley down across a bench
by the fireplace, picks Westley's arm up and lets it drop
limp.

		MIRACLE MAX
	I've seen worse.

He studies Westley a moment, checking here, checking there.

		INIGO
	Sir. Sir.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Hah?

		INIGO
	We're really in a terrible rush.

		MIRACLE MAX
		(He takes nothing from nobody)
	Don't rush me, sonny. You rush a
	miracle man, you get rotten
	miracles. You got money?

		INIGO
	Sixty-five.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Sheesh! I never worked for so
	little, except once, and that was
	a very noble cause.
							  93.


		INIGO
	This is noble, sir.
		(pointing to Westley, remorseful)
	His wife is crippled. His children
	are on the brink of starvation.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Are you a rotten liar.

		INIGO
	I need him to help avenge my
	father, murdered these twenty
	years.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Your first story was better.
		(looking around)
	Where's that bellows?
		(spots it)
	He probably owes you money, huh?
	Well, I'll ask him.

He goes to get a huge bellows.

		INIGO
		(stupefied)
	He's dead. He can't talk.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Look who knows so much. Well, it
	just so happens that your friend
	here is only mostly dead. There's
	a big difference between mostly
	dead and all dead. Please open
	his mouth.

Inigo does. Max inserts the bellows in Westley's mouth and
starts to pump.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Now, mostly dead is slightly
	alive. Now, all dead...well, with
	all dead, there's usually only
	one thing that you can do.

		INIGO
	What's that?

He stops pumping.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Go through his clothes and look
	for loose change.
							  94.


He starts pumping again.

		MIRACLE MAX
		(to Westley)
	Hey! Hello in there. Hey! What's
	so important? What you got here
	that's worth living for?

And he presses lightly on Westley's chest.

		WESTLEY
	... tr ... oooo .... luv...

Everybody stares at Westley lying there on the bench.

		INIGO
	True love. You heard him. You
	could not ask for a more noble
	cause than that.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Sonny, true love is the greatest
	thing in the world. Except for a
	nice MLT, a mutton, lettuce and
	tomato sandwich, where the mutton
	is nice and lean and the tomato
	is ripe. They're so perky, I love
	that. But that's not what he said.
	He distinctly said "to blave."
	And, as we all know, "to blave"
	means "to bluff." So you're
	probably playing cards, and he
	cheated

		A WOMAN'S VOICE
	-- Liar -- LIAR-LI-A-A-AR --

VALERIE, an ancient fury, storms out of a back room and
toward

		MIRACLE MAX
	-- get back, witch --

		VALERIE
	I'm not a witch, I'm your wife.
	But after what you just said, I'm
	not even sure I want to be that
	anymore.

		MIRACLE MAX
	You never had it so good.
							  95.


		VALERIE
	"True love." He said, "true
	love," Max. My God --

		MIRACLE MAX
		(retreating)
	Don't say another word, Valerie.

		VALERIE
		(turning to Inigo and Fezzik)
	He's afraid. Ever since Prince
	Humperdinck fired him, his
	confidence is shattered.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Why'd you say that name -- you
	promised me that you would never
	say that name --

		VALERIE
		(pursuing him now)
	What, Humperdinck? Humperdinck.
	Humperdinck. Ooo-ooo, Humperdinck

		MIRACLE MAX
		(holding his hands
		over his ears)
	I'm not listening.

		VALERIE
	A life expiring and you don't
	have the decency to say why you
	won't help --

		MIRACLE MAX
	Nobody's hearing nothing!

		VALERIE
	Humperdinck. Humperdinck!
	Humperdinck!

		INIGO
	-- But this is Buttercup's true
	love -- If you heal him, he will
	stop Humperdinck's wedding.

		VALERIE
	Humperdinck. Humperdinck --

		MIRACLE MAX
		(to Valerie)
	Shut up --
		(now to Inigo)
	Wait. Wait. I make him better,
	Humperdinck suffers?
							  96.


		INIGO
	Humiliations galore!

		MIRACLE MAX
	That is a noble cause. Give me
	the sixty-five, I'm on the job.

And as Valerie shrieks excitedly we

						CUT TO:

THIS LUMP

It is somewhat smaller than a tennis ball.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL MAX AND VALERIE, exhausted, looking at
the lump with beautific pleasure, as Valerie, cooking
utensil in hand, covers the thing with what looks like
chocolate. Inigo and FEZZIK stare at the thing too, but more
dubiously.

		INIGO
		(a little appalled)
	That's a miracle pill?

Max nods.

		VALERIE
		(finishing)
	The chocolate coating makes it go
	down easier. But you have to wait
	fifteen minutes for full potency.
	And you shouldn't go swimming
	after, for at least, what?

		MIRACLE MAX
	An hour.

		VALERIE
	Yeah, an hour.

		MIRACLE MAX
	A good hour. Yeah.

Inigo accepts the pill as FEZZIK takes Westley, who is stiff
as a board now.

		INIGO
		(heading out the door,
		Fezzik close behind)
	Thank you for everything.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Okay.
							  97.


		VALERIE
		(waving after them)
	Bye-bye, boys.

		MIRACLE MAX
	Have fun storming the castle.

		VALERIE
		(to Max)
	Think it'll work?

		MIRACLE MAX
	It would take a miracle. Bye!

		VALERIE
	Bye.

And as they wave, trying to look happy we --

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK, INIGO, AND WESTLEY

on the top of the outer wall of the castle. They look down
to the front gate of the castle. The sixty Brutes are visible.

FEZZIK is thunderstruck by how many Brutes there are. Upset,
he turns to Inigo, who is concentrating unsuccessfully,
trying to prop Westley against the wall.

		FEZZIK
	Inigo -- there's more than
	thirty --

		INIGO
		(absolutely unfazed)
	What's the difference?
		(indicating the half-
		dead Westley)
	We've got him. Help me here.
	We'll have to force feed him.

		FEZZIK
	Has it been fifteen minutes?

		INIGO
	We can't wait -- the wedding's in
	half an hour and we must strike
	in the hustle and the bustle
	beforehand.

During this, FEZZIK, using all his strength, has managed to
get Westley into a right angled sitting position, while
Inigo brings out the miracle pill.
							  98.


		INIGO
	Tilt his head back. Open his mouth.

		FEZZIK
		(following orders)
	How long do we have to wait
	before we know if the miracle
	works?

						CUT TO:

INIGO

Pill in hand, he drops it into Westley's mouth.

		INIGO
	Your guess is as good as mine --

		WESTLEY
		(frantic)
	I'll beat you both apart. I'll
	take you both together.

		FEZZIK
	Guess not very long.

Inigo and FEZZIK react. Westley is the only one not amazed.

		WESTLEY
	Why won't my arms move?

He sits there, immobile, like a ventriloquist's dummy.

		FEZZIK
	You've been mostly dead all day.

		INIGO
	We had Miracle Max make a pill to
	bring you back.

		WESTLEY
	Who are you? -- Are we enemies?
	Why am I on this wall? -- Where's
	Buttercup? --

		INIGO
	Let me explain --
		(pauses very briefly)
	-- No, there is too much. Let me
	sum up.
		(MORE)
							  99.


		INIGO (CONT'D)
	Buttercup is marrying Humperdinck
	in a little less than half an
	hour, so all we have to do is get
	in, break up the wedding, steal
	the Princess, make our escape
	after I kill Count Rugen.

		WESTLEY
	That doesn't leave much time for
	dilly dallying.

He is watching his fingers, one of which twitches now.

		FEZZIK
	You've just wiggled your finger.
	That's wonderful.

		WESTLEY
	I've always been a quick healer.
		(to Inigo)
	What are our liabilities?

		INIGO
	There is but one working castle
	gate.

Fezzik helps Inigo raise Westley just high enough so he can
see for himself.

		INIGO
	And it is guarded by sixty men.

		WESTLEY
	And our assets?

		INIGO
	Your brains, Fezzik's strength,
	my steel.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

absolutely stunned.

		WESTLEY
	That's it? Impossible. If I had a
	month to plan, maybe I could come
	up with something. But this...

He shakes his head from side to side.

						CUT TO:
							 100.


INIGO AND FEZZIK

		FEZZIK
		(trying to be cheery)
	You just shook your head -- that
	doesn't make you happy?

		WESTLEY
	My brains, his steel, and your
	strength against sixty men, and
	you think a little head jiggle is
	supposed to make me happy? I
	mean, if we only had a
	wheelbarrow, that would be
	something.

		INIGO
	Where did we put that wheelbarrow
	the Albino had?

		FEZZIK
	Over the Albino, I think.

		WESTLEY
	Well, why didn't you list that
	among our assets in the first
	place? What I wouldn't give for a
	holocaust cloak.

		INIGO
	There we cannot help you.

		FEZZIK
		(pulling one out)
	Will this do?

		INIGO
		(to Fezzik-- surprised)
	Where did you get that?

		FEZZIK
	At Miracle Max's. It fit so nice,
	he said I could keep it.

		WESTLEY
	All right, all right. Come on,
	help me up.

Inigo and Fezzik do.

		WESTLEY
	Now, I'll need a sword eventually.
							 101.


		INIGO
	Why? You can't even lift one.

		WESTLEY
	True, but that's hardly common
	knowledge, is it?
		(And his bead tilts
		limply back. Fezzik
		sets it up right for him)
	Thank you. Now, there may be
	problems once we're inside.

		INIGO
	I'll say -- how do I find the
	Count? -- Once I do, how do I
	find you again? -- Once I find
	you again, how do we escape? --

		FEZZIK
		(sharply)
	Don't pester him, he's had a hard
	day.

		INIGO
		(nods)
	Right, right, sorry.

						CUT TO:

A SHOT OF THE THREE OF THEM IN PROFILE

They move along the wall in silence for a time. Then these
words come to us on the wind --

		FEZZIK
	Inigo.

		INIGO
	What?

		FEZZIK
	I hope we win...

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

in her bridal gown, and she's incredible. It's not just her
beauty; there's a tranquillity about her now.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

The Prince, fastening a pearl necklace around her.
							 102.


		HUMPERDINCK
	You don't seem excited, my little
	muffin.

		BUTTERCUP
	Should I be?

		HUMPERDINCK
	Brides often are, I'm told.

		BUTTERCUP
		(gently, confidently)
	I do not marry tonight.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

and she couldn't seem more serene.

		BUTTERCUP
	My Westley will save me.

						CUT TO:

HER WESTLEY

looking down on the gate with Inigo and Fezzik.

						CUT TO:

THE MAIN GATE OF THE CASTLE

-- and Yellin, standing there, flanked by his sixty Brutes.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY AND INIGO AND FEZZIK

looking out at the enemy. This is it. Inigo and FEZZIK shake
hands.

Westley can't even do that, but after a bit of rocking back
and forth, he manages to get enough momentum to catapult his
arm over and onto his friend's.

						CUT TO:

AN ABSOLUTELY GEM-LIKE LITTLE CHAPEL

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

The most intelligent looking, the most impressive appearing
CLERGYMAN imaginable.
							 103.


Buttercup and Humperdinck kneel before the Clergyman. Behind
them sit the mumbling old KING AND QUEEN. Standing in the
back is Count Rugen.

FOUR GUARDS are in position flanking the chapel door.

		IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN
		(clears his throat,
		begins to speak)
	Mawidge...mawidge is what bwings
	us togewer today...

He has an impediment that would stop a clock.

		IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN
	Mawidge, the bwessed awwangement,
	that dweam wiffim a dweam...

And now, from outside the castle, there begins to come a
commotion. And then--

		YELLIN
		(off-screen)
	Stand your ground, men. Stand
	your ground.

						CUT TO:

THE BRUTES AND YELLIN

by the gate, for it is indeed they who are making the
commotion, frightened, pointing.

		YELLIN
	Stand your ground.

						CUT TO:

THEIR P.O.V.:

And it is a bit unnerving -- a GIANT seems to be floating
toward them out of the darkness, a Giant in a strange cloak,
and with a voice that would crumble walls.

		FEZZIK
		(deep and booming)
	I AM THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS.
	THERE WILL BE NO SURVIVORS.

						CUT TO:
							 104.


FEZZIK

and he seems to be floating because he's standing in the
wheelbarrow, as Inigo, hidden behind him, busts a gut by
pushing it and supporting Westley.

		INIGO
	Now?

		WESTLEY
	Not yet.

						CUT TO:

THE GIANT FLOATING CLOSER

		FEZZIK
	MY MEN ARE HERE, AND I AM HERE,
	BUT SOON YOU WILL NOT BE HERE

						CUT TO:

YELLIN

keeping the Brutes in position, or trying to, shouting
orders, instructions and as yet the Brutes hold. Now --

						CUT TO:

INIGO AND WESTLEY

Inigo struggles bravely under their combined weight --

		INIGO
	Now?

		WESTLEY
	Light him.

						CUT TO:

THE BRUTES

as the Giant bursts suddenly, happily into flames.

		FEZZIK
		(roaring)
	THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS TAKES NO
	SURVIVORS. ALL YOUR WORST
	NIGHTMARES ARE ABOUT TO COME TRUE.

						CUT TO:

THE CHAPEL, where The Impressive Clergyman plows on.
							 105.


		IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN
	... Ven wuv, twoo wuv, wiw fowwow
	you fowever..

						CUT TO:

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK, turning quickly, giving a sharp nod to
Count Rugen, who immediately takes off out of the chapel
with the Four Guards as we

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK, flaming and scary as hell.

		FEZZIK
	THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS IS HERE
	FOR YOUR SOULS!

						CUT TO:

YELLIN

as suddenly the Brutes just scream and take off in wild
panic --

		YELLIN
	Stay where you are. I said stay
	where you are!

						CUT TO:

INSIDE THE CHAPEL

		IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN
	... so tweasuwe your vruv..

		HUMPERDINCK
	Skip to the end.

		IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN
	Have you the wing?

As Humperdinck whips out the ring, the screams are very loud
outside.

		BUTTERCUP
	Here comes my Westley now.

						CUT TO:

Fezzik, as he pulls off the holocaust cloak.

		WESTLEY
	FEZZIK, the portcullis.
							 106.


And FEZZIK rushes forward, grabbing the portcullis, which is
indeed closing quickly.

FEZZIK grabs the gate: and swings the tonnage back upward.
Yellin just watches in fear.

						CUT TO:

THE CHAPEL

as Humperdinck shoves the ring on Buttercup's finger

		HUMPERDINCK
	Your Westley is dead.

Buttercup only smiles, shakes her head.

		HUMPERDINCK
	I killed him myself.

		BUTTERCUP
		(never more serene)
	Then why is there fear behind
	your eyes?

						CUT TO:

PRINCE HUMPERDINCK

And she's right. It's there.

						CUT TO:

YELLIN

pressed against the main gate. Westley, Inigo, and FEZZIK
close in.

		WESTLEY
	Give us the gate key.

		YELLIN
		(every ounce of
		honesty he's got)
	I have no gate key.

		INIGO
	Fezzik, tear his arms off.

FEZZIK

steps toward him.
							 107.


		YELLIN
	Oh, you mean this gate key.

And he whips it out, hands it to Fezzik.

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK AND BUTTERCUP

AND THE IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN

		IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN
	And do you, Pwincess Buwwercwup...

		HUMPERDINCK
	Man and wife -- say man and wife...

		IMPRESSIVE CLERGYMAN
	Man and wife.

		HUMPERDINCK
		(whirling to the King
		and Queen)
	Escort the bride to the Honeymoon
	Suite -- I'll be there shortly.

And as he dashes off --

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

standing there. Dazed.

		BUTTERCUP
	He didn't come.

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN AND HIS FOUR WARRIORS

racing through the castle, and as they reach a complex
intersection of several corridors, Rugen stops, incredulous,
as we

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY, INIGO, AND FEZZIK

moving toward them. Actually Fezzik is dragging Westley, who
is, in turn, dragging Yellin's sword like a stiff dog
leash --Westley simply hasn't the strength to raise it.

						CUT TO:
							 108.


COUNT RUGEN

as the confrontation is about to start.

		RUGEN
	Kill the dark one and the giant,
	but leave the third for
	questioning.

And as his Warriors attack --

Inigo goes wild, and maybe the Warrior's are good, maybe
they're even better than that -- but they never get a chance
to show it because this is something now, this is Inigo gone
mad and the six-fingered sword has never flashed faster and
the FOURTH WARRIOR is dead before the FIRST ONE has even hit
the floor. There is a pause. Then --

		INIGO
		(to Rugen, evenly and soft)
	Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya.
	You killed my father. Prepare to
	die.

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

For a moment he just stands there, sword in hand. Then he
does a most unexpected thing. He turns and runs the hell away.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

momentarily surprised, then taking off after him, leaving
Westley and Fezzik to exchange curious looks and Rugen,
running through a half-open heavy wooden door, shutting it
and locking it just as Inigo throws himself against it. He
tries again. No kind of chance.

		INIGO
		(calling out)
	Fezzik, I need you --

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK WITH WESTLEY

who is still unable to walk under his own power. He calls
back --
							 109.


		FEZZIK
		(indicating Westley)
	I can't leave him alone.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

desperately pounding at the heavy door.

		INIGO
	He's getting away from me, Fezzik.
	Please. FEZZIK!

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK AND WESTLEY

		FEZZIK
		(to Westley)
	I'll be right back.

And he props Westley up against a large suit of armor and
takes off toward the intersection where Inigo's voice came
from --

						CUT TO:

INIGO

still hammering the door. Fezzik approaches, gestures for
him to stop, and with one mighty swipe of his mighty hands
the door crumbles

		INIGO
	Thank you --

And Inigo flies through as Fezzik heads back to Westley.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP WALKING WITH THE KING AND QUEEN

The Queen, more sprightly, is several paces ahead.

		KING
		(can hardly be understood)
	Strange wedding.

		QUEEN
	Yes. A very strange wedding. Come
	along.
							 110.


Buttercup gently stops the King and places a kiss on his
forehead. He's very surprised and pleased.

		KING
	What was that for?

		BUTTERCUP
	Because you've always been so
	kind to me. And I won't be seeing
	you again since I'm killing
	myself once we reach the Honeymoon
	Suite.

		KING
		(smiling away --his
		hearing isn't what it
		once was)
	Won't that be nice?
		(calling out to the Queen)
	She kissed me...

And on those words --

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

And he's running, dashing through corridors and as he
glances back --

						CUT TO:

INIGO

behind him, coming like a streak and --

						CUT TO:

THE INTERSECTION

with the large suit of armor, and Fezzik gaping, staring at
all those choices, trying to piece together the puzzle of
the missing Westley.

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

flashing out of one room, down a staircase, picking up his
pace. He pulls out a deadly looking dagger, with a sharp
point and a triangular shaped blade, and sprints on and --

						CUT TO:
							 111.


INIGO

closing the gap, closer, closer and he's down the stairs and
heading into a dining hall and --

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

throwing the dagger --

						CUT TO:

INIGO

trying like hell to get out of the way, but no, and it
sticks deep into his stomach, and he hurtles back helplessly
against the wall of the room, his eyes glazed, blood coming
from his wound.

The room is going white on him.

		INIGO
	... Sorry, Father ... I tried ...
	I tried...

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

looking across the room at Inigo. He stares at Inigo's face,
and then touches his own cheeks, as memory comes.

		RUGEN
	You must be that little Spanish
	brat I taught a lesson to all
	those years ago. It's simply
	incredible. Have you been chasing
	me your whole life only to fail
	now? I think that's the worst
	thing I ever heard. How marvelous.

Inigo sinks.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP

shutting the door of the Honeymoon Suite, crossing quietly
to the far wall where she sits at a table, opens a jeweled
box, and takes out a very deadly looking dagger. She seems
very much at peace as she touches the knife to her bosom.
							 112.


		WESTLEY
	There's a shortage of perfect
	breasts in this world. It would
	be a pity to damage yours.

And Buttercup whirls as we --

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

lying on the bed. Yellin's sword is beside him. His voice
sounds just fine, but he does not move.

Buttercup leaps to the bed, covering him with kisses.
Westley is helpless.

		BUTTERCUP
	Oh, Westley, darling.
		(more kisses)
	Westley, why won't you hold me?

		WESTLEY
		(gently)
	Gently.

		BUTTERCUP
	At a time like this that's all
	you can think to say? "Gently?"

		WESTLEY
		(not so gently)
	Gently!!

And she lets go, thumping his head against the headboard and

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

looking very much surprised.

		RUGEN
	Good heavens. Are you still
	trying to win?

PULL BACK TO REVEAL

Inigo, struggling feebly, pulling the dagger from his
stomach. Holding the wound with his left hand.

Rugen is pushing off from the table, sword in hand, moving
in to kill Inigo.
							 113.


		RUGEN
	You've got an overdeveloped sense
	of vengeance. It's going to get
	you into trouble some day.

Inigo watches the Count approach, and the Count flicks his
sword at Inigo's heart, and there's not much Inigo can do,
just kind of vaguely parry the thrust with the six-fingered
sword and Count Rugen's blade sinks deeply into Inigo's left
shoulder.

Inigo doesn't seem to feel it, his other agonies are so much
worse.

						CUT TO:

THE COUNT

stepping back, going for the heart again.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

And as this blow comes he's trying to use the wall for
support in forcing himself to his feet, and it's not a
roaring success of an attempt, but he does at least make
some progress, and again he manages to parry the thrust, as
this time Rugen's sword runs through his right arm. Again,
Inigo doesn't seem to mind, doesn't even feel it.

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

stepping back forj ust a moment, watching as Inigo continues
to inch his way to his feet and then, just before the Count
is about to strike again, Inigo manages a little flick of
his own and Rugen hadn't expected it, and he jumps back,
makes a little involuntary cry of surprise and

						CUT TO:

INIGO

slowly pushing away from the wall.

		INIGO
		(all but audible)
	Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya,
	you killed my father; prepare to
	die.

						CUT TO:
							 114.


COUNT RUGEN

suddenly going into a fierce attack, striking with great
power and precision for he is a master swordsman, and he
forces Inigo easily back, drives him easily into the wall.
But he does not penetrate Inigo's defense. None of the
Count's blows get home. As the Count steps back a moment --

						CUT TO:

INIGO

pushing slowly off from the wall again.

		INIGO
		(a little louder)
	Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya,
	you killed my father, prepare to
	die.

						CUT TO:

THE COUNT

And again he attacks, slashing with wondrous skill. But none
of his blows get through and, slowly, Inigo, again moves
forward.

		INIGO
		(a little louder still)
	Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya.
	You killed my father. Prepare to
	die.

		RUGEN
	Stop saying that!

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

retreating more quickly around the table.

Inigo drives for the Count's left shoulder now, thrusts home
where the Count had gotten him. Then another move and his
blade enters the Count's right shoulder, the same spot Inigo
was wounded.

		INIGO
		(all he's got)
	HELLO! MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA.
	YOU KILLED MY FATHER. PREPARE TO
	DIE.
							 115.


		RUGEN
	No --

		INIGO
	-- offer me money --

And now the six-fingered sword strikes and there is a slash
bleeding along one of Rugen's cheeks.

		RUGEN
	-- yes --

		INIGO
	-- power too -- promise me that --

The great sword flashes again, and now there is a parallel
slash bleeding on Rugen's other cheek.

		RUGEN
	-- all that I have and more
	please --

		INIGO
	-- offer me everything I ask
	for --

		RUGEN
	-- anything you want --

		INIGO
		(roaring)
	I WANT MY FATHER BACK, YOU SON-
	OFA-BITCH!

And on that --

						CUT TO:

INIGO

and almost too fast for the eye to follow, the sword strikes
one final time and --

						CUT TO:

COUNT RUGEN

crying out in fear and panic as the sword hits home dead
center and --

						CUT TO:
							 116.


INIGO AND RUGEN

the sword clear through the Count. They are almost frozen
like that for a moment. Then Inigo withdraws his sword and
as the Count pitches down --

						CUT TO:

RUGEN

lying dead. His skin is ashen and the blood still pours from
the parallel cuts on his cheeks and his eyes are bulging
wide, full of fear.

						CUT TO:

INIGO

staring at Rugen. And now Inigo does something we have never
seen him do before: he smiles. HOLD FOR JUST A MOMENT on
Inigo smiling, then --

						CUT TO:

INSIDE THE HONEYMOON SUITE

WESTLEY lies as before, not a muscle has moved, his head is
still on the headboard, Yellin's sword at his side.

Buttercup is alongside the bed; her eyes never leave his face.

		BUTTERCUP
	Oh, Westley, will you ever
	forgive me?

		WESTLEY
	What hideous sin have you
	committed lately?

		BUTTERCUP
	I got married. I didn't want to.
	It all happened so fast.

		WESTLEY
	It never happened.

		BUTTERCUP
	What?

		WESTLEY
	It never happened.
							 117.


		BUTTERCUP
	But it did. I was there. This old
	man said, "Man and wife."

		WESTLEY
	Did you say, "I do"?

		BUTTERCUP
	Well, no, we sort of skipped that
	part.

		WESTLEY
	Then you're not married -- if you
	didn't say it, you didn't do it
		(a pause)
	-- wouldn't you agree, Your
	Highness?

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK

entering the room, staring at them. He pulls out his sword.

		HUMPERDINCK
	A technicality that will shortly
	be remedied. But first things
	first. To the death.

		WESTLEY
	No.
		(a little pause)
	To the pain.

		HUMPERDINCK
		(about to charge,
		stops short)
	I don't think I'm quite familiar
	with that phrase.

		WESTLEY
	I'll explain. And I'll use small
	words so that you'll be sure to
	understand, you wart-hog-faced
	buffoon.

		HUMPERDINCK
	That may be the first time in my
	life a man has dared insult me.

						CUT TO:
							 118.


WESTLEY

lying there comfortably, his words quiet at first.

		WESTLEY
	It won't be the last. To the pain
	means the first thing you lose
	will be your feet, below the
	ankles, then your hands at the
	wrists, next your nose.

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK

gripping his sword, watching.

		HUMPERDINCK
	-- and then my tongue, I suppose.
	I killed you too quickly the last
	time, a mistake I don't mean to
	duplicate tonight.

		WESTLEY
	I wasn't finished -- the next
	thing you lose will be your left
	eye, followed by your right --

		HUMPERDINCK
		(takes step forward)
	-- and then my ears, I understand.
	Let's get on with it

						CUT TO:

CLOSE UP: WESTLEY HUGE

		WESTLEY
	Wrong! Your ears you keep, and
	I'll tell you why --

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK

And now he stops, and the look that was in his eyes at the
wedding, that look of fear, is starting to return.

		WESTLEY
	-- so that every shriek of every
	child at seeing your hideousness
	will be yours to cherish -- every
	babe that weeps at your approach,
	every woman who cries out, "Dear
	God, what is that thing?" will
	echo in your perfect ears.
		(MORE)
							 119.


		WESTLEY (CONT'D)
	That is what "to the pain" means.
	It means I leave you in anguish,
	wallowing in freakish misery
	forever.

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK

doing his best to hide the fear that keeps building inside
him.

		HUMPERDINCK
	I think you're bluffing --

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

lying there, staring at him.

		WESTLEY
	It's possible, pig -- I might be
	bluffing -- it's conceivable, you
	miserable vomitous mass, that I'm
	only lying here because I lack
	the strength to stand -- then
	again, perhaps I have the strength
	after all.

And now, slowly, Westley begins to move. His body turns, his
feet go to the floor, he starts to stand --

						CUT TO:

HUMPERDINCK

staring, eyes wide.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

And now he is standing, sword in fighting position.

		WESTLEY
		(slow and determined)
	DROP-YOUR-SWORD.

						CUT TO:
							 120.


PRINCE HUMPERDINCK

and he's so panicked he doesn't know whether to pee or wind
his watch. He throws his sword to the floor.

		WESTLEY
		(to Humperdinck)
	Have a seat.

						CUT TO:

WESTLEY

speaking to Buttercup as Humperdinck sits.

		WESTLEY
	Tie him up. Make it as tight as
	you like.

And as she sets to work --

						CUT TO:

INIGO

entering, looking around.

		INIGO
	Where's Fezzik?

		WESTLEY
	I thought he was with you.

		INIGO
	No.

		WESTLEY
	In that case --

his balance betrays him.

		INIGO
		(to Buttercup)
	Help him.

		BUTTERCUP
	Why does Westley need helping?

		INIGO
	Because he has no strength --

						CUT TO:
							 121.


HUMPERDINCK

and now be starts wrestling mightily with his bonds.

		HUMPERDINCK
	I knew it! I knew you were
	bluffing! I knew he was bluffing.

		INIGO
		(staring at the Prince)
	Shall I dispatch him for you?

		WESTLEY
		(considers this, then)
	Thank you, but no -- whatever
	happens to us, I want him to live
	a long life alone with his
	cowardice.

		FEZZIK
		(off-screen)
	Inigo! Inigo, where are you?

They look at each other, then move to the balcony, and

						CUT TO:

FEZZIK

leading FOUR GREAT WHITE HORSES. He glances up, sees them on
the balcony.

		FEZZIK
	Ah, there you are. Inigo, I saw
	the Prince's stables, and there
	they were, four white horses. And
	I thought, there are four of us,
	if we ever find the lad -- hello,
	lad -- so I took them with me, in
	case we ever bumped into each
	other.
		(considers things a moment)
	I guess we just did.

						CUT TO:

INIGO AND WESTLEY AND BUTTERCUP

looking down at FEZZIK.

		INIGO
	FEZZIK, you did something right.
							 122.


		FEZZIK
	Don't worry -- I won't let it go
	to my head.

And as he holds out his great arms--

						CUT TO:

SOMETHING UNEXPECTED AND VERY LOVELY:

Buttercup floating through the air. What's happening, of
course, is that she's jumping from the balcony so Fezzik can
catch her. But her fall is in slow motion so you might think
she was flying.

Westley and Inigo, watching as FEZZIK catches Buttercup.

		INIGO
	You know, it's very strange -- I
	have been in the revenge business
	so long, now that it's over, I
	don't know what to do with the
	rest of my life.

		WESTLEY
		(as Inigo gets him
		ready for his jump)
	Have you ever considered piracy?
	You'd make a wonderful Dread
	Pirate Roberts.

Now from that --

						CUT TO:

THE FOUR GLORIOUS WHITE HORSES WITH THEIR FOUR RIDERS

triumphantly racing through the night --

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP AND WESTLEY

and at last their trials are done. They stop.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	They rode to freedom. And as dawn
	arose, Westley and Buttercup knew
	they were safe. A wave of love
	swept over them. And as they
	reached for each other...
							 123.


As Buttercup and Westley begin their ultimate kiss --

						CUT TO:

THE KID'S BEDROOM

The Grandfather stops reading.

		THE KID
	What? What?

		GRANDFATHER
	No, it's kissing again. You don't
	want to hear it.

		THE KID
	I don't mind so much.

He gestures for his Grandfather to read.

		GRANDFATHER
	Okay.

						CUT TO:

BUTTERCUP AND WESTLEY

locked in a deep, pure and passionate kiss.

		GRANDFATHER
		(off-screen)
	Since the invention of the kiss,
	there have been five kisses that
	were rated the most passionate,
	the most pure. This one left them
	all behind. The end.

						CUT TO:

THE KID'S ROOM

The Grandfather snaps the book closed.

		GRANDFATHER
	Now I think you ought to go to
	sleep.

		THE KID
	Okay.

		GRANDFATHER
		(standing, readying to leave)
	Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. So
	long.
							 124.


		THE KID
	Grandpa?

The Old Man stops, turns.

		THE KID
	Maybe you could come over and
	read it again to me tomorrow.

		GRANDFATHER
		(a beat)
	As you wish...

And his smile is enough. As The Grandfather steps out the
door, tipping his hat--

FINAL FADE OUT.

THE END.