Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

BLACK SCREEN

A desert wind moans sadly.  From somewhere within the wind
comes the tinkly, syrupy-sweet sounds of the Lennon Sisters
singing "My Favorite Things." A series of sepia images of
anti-war protests from the mid-sixties appear one after
another on the screen.

In the violently scrawled style of Ralph Steadman, the title
FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS splashes onto the screen.  A
beat, and then it runs down and off revealing:

TITLE: "He who makes a beast of himself
  Gets rid of the pain
  Of being a man."
  Dr. Johnson

The VOICE OF HUNTER S. THOMPSON -- a.k.a. RAOUL DUKE:

		DUKE (V/O)
	We were somewhere around Barstow on
	the edge of the desert when the
	drugs began to take hold.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

A red Chevy convertible -- THE RED SHARK -- wipes the black
screen.

EXT. ON THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

THE RED SHARK races down the desert highway at a hundred
miles an hour.  THE STONES' "Sympathy For the Devil" blares.

AT THE WHEEL

STRANGELY STILL AND TENSE, RAOUL DUKE DRIVES -- SKELETAL,
BEER IN HAND -- STARES STRAIGHT AHEAD.

BESIDE HIM, FACE TURNED TO THE SUN, EYES CLOSED BEHIND
WRAPAROUND SPANISH SUNGLASSES, IS HIS SWARTHY AND UNNERVINGLY
UNPREDICTABLE ATTORNEY, DR. GONZO.

The music pounds DUKE stares straight ahead.  GONZO froths
up a can of beer - uses it as shaving foam.

		DUKE (V/O)
	I remember saying something like:
	"I feel a bit lightheaded.  Maybe
	you should drive..."

GONZO starts shaving.

						 2.


		DUKE (V/O)
	Suddenly there was a terrible roar
	all around us and the sky was full
	of what looked like huge bats, all
	swooping and screeching and diving
	around the car...

Close on DUKE -- shadows flutter across his face.  The
reflections of bats swirl within his eyes.  We push in close
to one eye ball -- SCREECHING SWIRLING BAT-LIKE SHAPES!

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

		DUKE (V/O)
	... and a voice was screaming: Holy
	Jesus!  What are these goddamn
	animals?

CUT TO WIDE SHOT OF CAR -

DUKE, eyes rigid, flails at the air.  No bats anywhere.
GONZO casually looks over...

		GONZO
	What are you yelling about?

DUCK SCREECHES to the side of the road.  The sudden wrench
makes GONZO nick his face with his razor.

		DUKE
	Never mind.  It's your turn to drive.

		DUKE (V/O)
	No point mentioning these bats.  I
	thought.  The poor bastard will see
	them soon enough.

DUKE hops out of the car, keeping an eye out for bats,
frantically opens the trunk to reveal what looks like A
MOBILE POLICE NARCOTICS LAB.  DUKE desperately rifles
through the impressive stash.

		DUKE (V/O)
	We had two bags of grass, seventy-
	five pellets of mescaline, five
	sheets of high powered blotter
	acid, a salt shaker half full of
	cocaine, a whole galaxy of multi-
	colored uppers, downers, screamers,
	laughers... Also a quart of tequila,
	a quart of rum, a case of beer, a
	pint of raw ether and two dozen
	amyls.

						 3.


DUKE, eyes darting madly as he hears what sounds like the
SHRIEKS OF BATS returning, grabs an assortment along with
another six-pack of beer - slams the trunk shut and dives
back into the car.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Not that we needed all that for the
	trip, but once you get locked into
	a serious drug collection, the
	tendency is to push it as far as
	you can.

THE RED SHARK RACES INTO THE DISTANCE... on the ground,
weakly flapping is a SEMI-SQUASHED, SLOWLY DYING ANIMAL... A
BAT?

EXT. FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

IN THE RED SHARK

GONZO grips the wheel - stares maniacally down the road - a
lousy driver.

		DUKE (V/O)
	The only thing that really worried
	me was the ether.  There is nothing
	in the world more helpless and
	irresponsible and depraved than a
	man in the depths of an ether binge.
	And I knew we'd get into that
	rotten stuff pretty soon.

The radio news wars with "SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL" on a tape
recorder.

		RADIO NEWS
	An overdose of heroin was listed as
	the official cause of death for
	pretty 19 year old Diane Hanby
	whose body was found stuffed in a
	refrigerator last week...

GONZO changes the station - "ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE, SWEET
JESUS, ONE TOKE OVER THE LINE" vies with "SYMPATHY"... He
sings along - washes a couple of pills back with a new beer.
The RED SHARK fishtails.

		GONZO
	"One toke over the line, sweet
	Jesus."

						 4.


		DUKE
		(muttering to himself)
	One toke.  You poor fool.  Wait
	till you see those goddamn bats.

UP AHEAD - AT THE SIDE OF THE DESERTED ROAD

A LONE HITCHHIKER spots them, jumps up and sticks out a
thumb.  The RED SHARK roars past.  Then, fifty yards down
the road...

		GONZO
	Let's give that boy a lift.

GONZO wrenches the wheel - THE RED SHARK swerves to the side
of the road.

		DUKE
	We can't stop here - this is bat
	country!

GONZO JAMS THE CAR INTO REVERSE AND ROCKETS BACKWARDS.  The
HITCHHIKER races to the car.  A poor OKIE KID with a big grin.

		HITCHHIKER
	Hot damn!  I never rode in a
	convertible before!

Then the big grin freezes on the OKIE KID's face at the
sight of: DUKE and GONZO looking out at him with HYPER-
NORMAL, shit-eating SMILES.

		DUKE
	Is that right?  Well, I guess
	you're about ready, eh?

The HITCHHIKER hesitates.

		GONZO
	We're your friends.  We're not like
	the others.

		DUKE
		(hissing sharply)
	No more of that talk or I'll put
	the leeches on you.

DUKE turns back to the HITCHHIKER - smiles reassuringly.

EXT. EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

The HITCHHIKER sits nervously in the back seat as the RED
SHARK screams down the road.

						 5.


GONZO sings along to the tape player.

The HITCHHIKER's eyes go to the door - considers jumping out
and taking his chances.

DUKE, sweating bullets, STARES AT THE HITCHHIKER in the rear
view mirror.

		DUKE (V/O)
	How long could we maintain, I
	wondered.  How long before one of
	us starts raving and jabbering at
	this boy?  What will he think then?
	This same lonely desert was the
	last known home of the Manson family.

The HITCHHIKER's eyes notice a thin line of blood trickling
down GONZO's neck.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Would he make that grim connection
	when my attorney starts screaming
	about bats and huge manta rays
	coming down on the car?

DUKE's mouth moves intermittently - sometimes in sync with
the words, sometimes not.

		DUKE (V/O)
	If so - well, we'll just have to
	cut his head off and bury him
	somewhere.  Because it goes without
	saying that we can't turn him loose.
	He'd report us at once to some kind
	of outback Nazi law enforcement
	agency, and they'll run us down
	like dogs...

		DUKE
		(out loud to himself)
	Jesus!  Did I say that?

		DUKE (V/O)
	Or just think it?  Was I talking?
	Did they hear me?

		GONZO
		(reassuringly to HITCHHIKER)
	It's okay.  He's admiring the shape
	of your skull.

DUKE gives the HITCHHIKER a FINE BIG GRIN and the HITCHHIKER
giggles nervously.

						 6.


		DUKE (V/O)
	Maybe I better have a chat with
	this boy I thought.  Perhaps if I
	explain things, he'll rest easy...

		DUKE
		(roaring over the
		road noise)
	THERE'S ONE THING YOU SHOULD
	PROBABLY UNDERSTAND --

The HITCHHIKER stares at him, not blinking.

		DUKE
		(yells)
	CAN YOU HEAR ME?

The HITCHHIKER nods -- giggles -- terrified.  DUKE climbs
into the back seat.

		DUKE
	That's good.  Because I want you to
	have all the background.  This is a
	very ominous assignment -- with
	overtones of extreme personal
	danger.  I'm a Doctor of Journalism!
	This is important, goddamnit!  This
	is a true story!...
		(WHACKS the BACK OF
		THE DRIVER'S SEAT
		with his fist)


The CAR SWERVES SICKENINGLY, then straightens out.

		GONZO
		(screams)
	Keep your hands off my fucking neck!

The HITCHHIKER makes a sudden lunge for freedom.  DUKE GRABS
HIM BACK DOWN.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Our vibrations were getting nasty --
	but why?  Was there no communication
	in this car?  Had we deteriorated
	to the level of dumb beasts?

The HITCHHIKER STRUGGLES IN PANIC.

						 7.


		DUKE
		(to HITCHHIKER)
	I want you to understand that this
	man at the wheel is my attorney!
	He's not just some dingbat I found
	on the Strip.  He's a foreigner.  I
	think he's probably Samoan.  But it
	doesn't matter, does it?  Are you
	prejudiced?

		HITCHHIKER
	Hell, no!

		DUKE
	I didn't think so.  Because in
	spite of his race, this man is
	extremely valuable to me.  Hell, I
	forgot all about this beer.  You
	want one?
		(HITCHHIKER shakes
		his head)
	How about some ether?

		HITCHHIKER
	What?

		DUKE
	Never mind.  Let's get right to the
	heart of this thing.  Twenty-four
	hours ago we were sitting in the
	Pogo Lounge of the Beverly Wills
	Hotel...

INT. THE BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL POGO LOUNGE 1971 - DAY

A uniformed DWARF, carries a shockingly PINK TELEPHONE
through the glittering, tranquil POGO LOUNGE CROWD.  They
are the ELOI.  HENDRIX AFROS and DROOPING MUSTACHES and BELL
BOTTOMS and LOVE BEADS and BELLS.  ACTRESSES sip Singapore
Slings and PROMOTERS sip ACTRESSES in this MONIED, SANITISED
VERSION OF THE GREAT REVOLUTION YEARS.

		DUKE (V/O)
	... in the patio section, of
	course, drinking Singapore Slings
	with mescal on the side, hiding
	from the brutish realities of this
	foul year of Our Lord, 1971.

The DWARF reaches DUKE -- T-shirt, levis, sneakers and
shades.  GONZO -- white rayon bellbottoms and a khaki tank
top undershirt.  They are in the middle of a serious
conversation.

						 8.


		DUKE
	I'm telling you, the Salazar story
	is getting too complicated.  The
	weasels have started closing in.

The DWARF sneers.

		DWARF
	Perhaps this is the call you've
	been waiting for all this time,
	sir...

DUKE lifts the receiver -- listens...

		DUKE
	Uh-huh... Uh-huh... Uh-huh...

DUKE hangs up the PHONE with the DEAD-PAN EXPRESSION OF A
MOVIE SPY.

		DWARF
	That was headquarters.  They want
	me to go to Las Vegas at once and
	make contact with a Portuguese
	photographer named Lacerda.  He'll
	have the details.  All I have to do
	is check into my sound proof suite
	and he'll seek me out.

GONZO, says nothing for a moment, then POUNDS the table!

		GONZO
	God hell!  I think I see the
	pattern!  This one sounds like real
	trouble!  You're going to need
	plenty of legal advice before this
	thing is over.  As your attorney I
	must advise you that you'll need a
	very fast car with no top and after
	that, the cocaine.  And then the
	tape recorder, for special music,
	and some Acapulco shirts...
		(GONZO tucks his
		khaki undershirt into
		his white
		bellbottoms -- he
		means business!)
	This blows my weekend, because
	naturally I'll have to go with
	you -- and we'll have to arm
	ourselves.

						 9.


		DUKE
	Why not?  If a thing's worth doing,
	it's worth doing right.

DUKE and GONZO are up and off.  The DWARF chases after them
with the (very large) check in his hand.

They sweep out through the Lounge door, unaware of it
swinging back into the face of the pursuing DWARF.

		DUKE
	I tell you, my man.  This is the
	American Dream in action!  We'd be
	fools not to ride this strange
	torpedo all the way to the end.

		GONZO
	Indeed.  We must do it.  What kind
	of story is this?

EXT. BEVERLY WILLS HOTEL - FRONT ENTRANCE - DAY

DUKE and GONZO emerge.

		DUKE
	The Mint 400!  The richest off-road
	race for motorcycles and dune-
	buggies in the history of organized
	sport!
		(handing parking
		ticket to Valet)
	-- a fantastic spectacle in honor
	of some fatback grossero who owns
	the luxurious Mint Hotel in the
	heart of downtown Vegas... at least
	that's what the press release says.

Their car arrives -- rusted out, smashed door panels.  They
jump in.

		DUKE
	We're going to have to drum it up
	on our own.  Pure Gonzo Journalism.

And they're off in a cloud of black exhaust as the nose-
bleeding DWARF stumbles out with the unpaid bill in his hand.

EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DAY

The PINTO races through shot.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Getting hold of the drugs and
	shirts had been no problem...

						10.


EXT. POLYNESIAN BAR - DAY

The PINTO skids to a halt outside Polynesian bar, the back
window full of Hawaiian shirts.

		DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
	... but the car and tape recorder
	were not easy things to round up at
	6:30 on a Friday afternoon in
	Hollywood.

INT. POLYNESIAN BAR - DAY

TORN YELLOW PAGES with dealer's ads ticked off lie in a pile
as GONZO yells into a PAYPHONE.  DUKE carries over four
Singapore Slings.

		GONZO
	O.K., O.K., yes.  Hang onto it.
	We'll be there in thirty minutes.
		(to DUKE -- hand over
		the PHONE)
	I finally located a car with
	adequate horsepower and the proper
	coloring.
		(into PHONE)
	What?!  OF COURSE the gentleman has
	a major credit card!  Do you
	realize who the fuck you're talking
	to?

		DUKE
	Don't take any guff from these
	swine.
		(GONZO slams the
		phone down)
	Now we need a sound store with the
	finest equipment.  Nothing dinky.
	One of those new Belgian Heliowatts
	with a voice-activated shotgun
	mike, for picking up conversations
	in oncoming cars.

		GONZO
	We won't make the nut unless we
	have unlimited credit.

		DUKE
	We will.  You Samoans are all the
	same.  You have no faith in the
	essential decency of the white
	man's culture.

						11.


EXT. SUNSET BLVD - DUSK

The PINTO races down street.

		DUKE (V/O)
	The store was closed, but the
	salesman said he would wait, if we
	hurried...

EXT. SUNSET BLVD - TRAFFIC JAM - DUSK

They're stuck in a traffic jam -- clouds of exhaust.  DUKE
BANGS ON THE HORN IN FURY.

		DUKE (V/O)
	But we were delayed en route when a
	Stingray in front of us killed a
	pedestrain.

Directly in front of them: BLOODY CARNAGE -- a covered
corpse is loaded into an ambulance by PARAMEDICS.

EXT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - NIGHT

		DUKE (V/O)
	We had trouble, again, at the car
	rental agency.

Behind the wheel of the RED SHARK: DUKE grins with
satisfaction -- checking it out.  A nervous AGENT holds out
a clipboard.  DUKE signs without looking at the rental papers.

		AGENT
	Say... uh... you fellas are going
	to be careful with this car, aren't
	you?

		DUKE
	Of course.

DUKE throws the car into reverse -- roars backwards past the
gas pumps to where GONZO is unloading their rusted out car.

		AGENT
	Well, good god!  You just backed
	over that two foot concrete abutment
	and you didn't even slow down!
	Forty-five in reverse!  And you
	barely missed the pump!

		DUKE
	No harm done.  I always test the
	transmission that way.  The rear
	end.  For stress factors.

						12.


GONZO transfers boxes of new sound equipment and a large box
of rum and ice into the RED SHARK.

		AGENT
	Say.  Are you fellows drinking?

		DUKE
	Not me.  We're responsible people.

He JAMS the car into LOW GEAR and lurches into traffic.  The
AGENT runs into the street and helplessly watches them go.

		GONZO
	There's another worrier.  He's
	probably all cranked up on speed.

EXT. RUNDOWN BEACH HOUSE - NIGHT

STRANGE AND MAGICAL.  In the moonlight: the silhouetted
figures of DUKE and GONZO as they pack the RED SHARK.

		DUKE (V/O)
	We spent the rest of that night
	rounding up materials and packing
	the car.  Then we ate some mescaline
	and went swimming.

The surf crashes in the distance...

EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - NIGHT

DUKE cries out as he dives into the ocean.  He lets himself
float up through the silvery bubbles...

DUKE AND GONZO FLOAT BEATIFICALLY IN THE GLOWING, SHIMMERING
MOONLIT SURF.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Our trip was different.  It was to
	be a classic affirmation of
	everything right and true in the
	national character; a gross,
	physical salute to the fantastic
	possibilities of life in this
	country.  But only for those with
	true grit...

EXT. AND EVEN FURTHER DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

DUKE's intense face.

		DUKE
	...and we're chock full of that!

						13.


		GONZO
	Damn right!

		DUKE
	My attorney understands this
	concept, despite his racial handicap.
	But do you?!

The HITCHHIKER nods -- giggles -- petrified.

		DUKE (V/O)
	He said he understood, but I could
	see in his eyes that he didn't.  He
	was lying to me.

		GONZO
	My heart!

GONZO clutches his heart.  The car veers off the road and
screeches to a halt.  He slumps over the wheel.

		GONZO (CONT'D)
	Where's the medicine?

		DUKE
	The medicine?  Yes, it's right here.

DUKE spills out 4 AMYL CAPSULES from a tin.

		DUKE
	Don't worry, this man has a bad
	heart... Angina Pectoris.  But we
	have a cure for it.

DUKE and GONZO break 2 AMYLS apiece -- INHALE DEEPLY.  GONZO
falls back on the seat, staring straight up at the sun.  The
HITCHHIKER looks petrified.

		GONZO
		(suddenly flailing
		his naked arms at the sky)
	Turn up the fucking music!  My
	heart feels like an alligator!
	Volume!  Clarity!  Bass!  We must
	have bass!  What's wrong with us?
	Are you goddamn old ladies?

		DUKE
		(turns up music to
		full volume)
	You scurvy shyster bastard!  Watch
	your language!  You're talking to a
	Doctor of Journalism!

						14.


		GONZO
		(laughing uncontrollably)
	What the fuck are we doing out here?
	Somebody call the police!  We need
	help!

		DUKE
		(to HITCHHIKER)
	Pay no attention to this swine.  He
	can't handle the medicine.
		(he begins laughing)


		GONZO
		(to the HITCHHIKER)
	The truth is we're going to Vegas
	to croak a scag baron named Savage
	Henry.  I've known him for years
	but he ripped us off -- and you
	know what that means, right?

GONZO pulls out a .357 Magnum -- waves it around.

		GONZO (CONT'D)
	Savage Henry has cashed his check!
	We're going to rip his lungs out!

		DUKE
	And eat them!  That bastard won't
	get away with this!  What's going
	on in this country when a scum
	sucker like that can get away with
	sandbagging a Doctor of Journalism?

GONZO cracks ANOTHER AMYL.

The HITCHHIKER SCRAMBLES OUT OF THE CAR, DOWN THE TRUNK LID,
AND FLEES.

		HITCHHIKER
	Thanks for the ride.  Thanks a lot.
	I like you guys.  Don't worry about
	me.

		DUKE
		(yells)
	Wait a minute!  Come back and have
	a beer!

The HITCHHIKER RUNS from car.

						15.


		GONZO
	Good riddance.  That boy made me
	nervous.  Did you see his eyes?
		(laughing)
	Jesus, this is good medicine.

DUKE glances back at the running HITCHHIKER.

		DUKE
		(suddenly clambering
		into the front seat)
	Move over!!  We have to get out of
	California before that kid finds a
	cop!

DUKE GUNS THE RED SHARK -- TAKES OFF DOWN THE ROAD...

EXT. UNBELIEVABLY FAR DOWN THE ROAD TO LAS VEGAS - DAY

THE RED SHARK races -- DUKE at the wheel -- straight ahead
driving.

		DUKE (V/O)
	It was absolutely imperative that
	we get to the Mint Hotel before the
	deadline for press registration.
	Otherwise, we might have to pay for
	our suite.

GONZO wrestles with a shaker of COCAINE.  The top comes off
and the powder swirls away on the wind.

		GONZO
	Oh, Jesus!  Did you see what god
	just did to us?

		DUKE
	God didn't do that!  You did it!
	You're a fucking narcotics agent,
	that was our cocaine, you pig!

		GONZO
		(waving his .357
		Magnum at Duke)
	You better be careful.  Plenty of
	vultures out here.  They'll pick
	your bones clean before morning.

		DUKE
	You whore!

GONZO tears up a BLOTTER OF ACID.

						16.


		GONZO
	Here -- chew this.  It's your half
	of the acid.

DUKE takes his half -- chews it.

		DUKE
	How long do I have?

		GONZO
	Maybe thirty more minutes.  As your
	attorney, I advise you to drive at
	top speed.  It'll be a goddamn
	miracle if we can get there before
	you turn into a wild animal.  Are
	you ready for that?  Checking into
	a Vegas hotel under a phony name
	with intent to commit capital fraud
	and a head full of acid.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Thirty minutes.  It was going to be
	very close.

The RED SHARK screams along the highway past a billboard:
"DON'T GAMBLE WITH MARIJUANA! \ IN NEVADA: POSSESSION - 20
YEARS; SALE - LIFE!!"

EXT. LAS VEGAS MINT HOTEL - DUSK

The RED SHARK pulls up outside the MINT.  A great banner
spanning the street announces the MINT 400.

DUKE can feel the drug surging up inside him.  Clutching a
buckled beer can, sweat pouring, he stares fixedly at the
TICKET the ATTENDANT gives him.

		DUKE
	I need this, right?

		ATTENDANT
	I'll remember your face.

DUKE stares -- losing it...

		DUKE (V/O)
	There is no way of explaining the
	terror I felt.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

DUKE waits in line at the front desk -- RIGID WITH PENT UP
ENERGY.  GONZO's ahead of him -- muscling in -- trying to
queue jump and failing.

						17.


		DUKE (V/O)
	I was pouring sweat.  My blood is
	too thick for Nevada.  I've never
	been able to properly explain
	myself in this climate.

A COUPLE move off and DUKE jerks forward -- stops -- eyes
fixed on the stony FEMALE RESERVATIONS CLERK.

		DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
	Be quiet, be calm... name, rank,
	and press affiliation, nothing
	else...

DUKE moves ANOTHER RIGID STEP CLOSER to the desk -- the
tension almost snapping him in two.  GONZO's FLAPPING
AROUND -- absolutely no success.

Something catches DUKE's eye... He REMAINS ROOTED -- his
eyes turning to the VEGETAL PAISLEY PATTERNS ON THE CARPET
WHICH ARE SHIFTING -- UNDULATING.  THE CARPET PATTERNS ARE
INEXORABLY CREEPING UP THE WALLS...

		DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
	...ignore this terrible drug,
	pretend it's not happening...

The LAST PEOPLE leave -- with A FINAL, STIFF MOVE, DUKE
comes face to face with the RESERVATIONS CLERK... AND
EXPLODES!

		DUKE
	HI THERE.  MY NAME... AH, RAOUL
	DUKE... ON... ON THAT LIST, THAT'S
	FOR SURE.  FREE LUNCH, FINAL
	WISDOM, TOTAL COVERAGE... WHY NOT?
	I HAVE MY ATTORNEY WITH ME, AND I
	REALIZE OF COURSE...

As DUKE stares at her, BABBLING, her FACE BEGINS TO MORPH.
He tries to stop it happening by TALKING FASTER.

		DUKE
	... THAT HIS NAME IS NOT ON THE
	LIST, BUT WE MUST HAVE THAT SUITE.
	YES.  JUST CHECK THE LIST AND
	YOU'LL SEE.  DON'T WORRY.  WHAT'S
	THE SCORE HERE?  WHAT'S NEXT?

DUKE sags -- grips the desk -- WHITE KNUCKLES.

						18.


		RESERVATIONS CLERK
		(hands him an envelope)
	Your suite's not ready yet.  But
	there's somebody looking for you.

Her face is CHANGING -- SWELLING -- PULSING...

		DUKE
		(shouts)
	NO!  WHY?  WE HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING
	YET!

The FACE OF THE RESERVATIONS CLERK TURNS GREEN & GROWS FANGS.
DEADLY POISON!  DUKE LUNGES BACK at GONZO, who GRIPS his arm
intensely -- REACHES OUT to take the ENVELOPE.

		GONZO
	I can handle this.  This man has a
	bad heart, but I have plenty of
	medicine.  My name is Dr. Gonzo.
	Prepare our suite at once.  We'll
	be in the bar.

GONZO manoeuvres DUKE away from the desk.  DUKE looks
back -- the RESERVATIONS CLERKS is now a MORAY EEL -- green
jowls and fangs.

INT. NAUTICAL BAR - DAY

The bar -- OILY PEOPLE -- quiet music -- nautical theme.
DUKE and GONZO at the bar, a marlin spike hanging on the
wall behind them.  DUKE has turned to stone...

		GONZO
		(to the bartender)
	Two Cuba Libres with beer and
	mescal on the side.
		(opens the envelope)
	Who's Lacerda, he's waiting for us
	in a room on the twelfth floor?

		DUKE
	Lacerda?

		DUKE (V/O)
	I couldn't remember.  The name rang
	a bell, but I couldn't concentrate.
	Terrible things were happening all
	around us...

DUKE is staring -- RAPT -- TERRIFIED.  BLOOD FLOWS FREELY
onto the floor.  DUKE keeps his voice low.

						19.


		DUKE
	Order some golf shoes.  Otherwise,
	we'll never get out of this place
	alive.  It's impossible to walk in
	this muck -- no footing at all...

DUKE looks up -- GONZO has disappeared.

DUKE looks around him -- the entire room has TRANSFORMED
into a ROOM FILLED WITH REPTILES IN CLOTHES, DRINKING AND
GNAWING AT ONE ANOTHER.

		DUKE (V/O)
	I was right in the middle of a
	fucking reptile zoo.  And somebody
	was giving booze to these goddamn
	things!  It won't be long before
	they tear us to shreds!

GONZO IS SUDDENLY BACK -- AT DUKE'S SHOULDER.

		GONZO
	If you think we're in trouble now
	wait until you see what's happening
	in the elevators.

GONZO removes his sunshades and we see he's been crying...
as he speaks he seems to be floating.  Duke struggles to
keep him in his line of vision.

		GONZO
	I just went upstairs to see this
	man Lacerda.  I told him I knew
	what he was up to...
		(GONZO rallies --
		turns fierce)
	He says he's a photographer!  But
	when I mentioned Savage Henry he
	freaked!  He knows we're onto him!

		DUKE
	But what about our room?  And the
	golf shoes?

A GROUP OF REPTILES AT A TABLE ACROSS THE ROOM stares at
them, BLOOD DRIPPING FROM THEIR FANGS.

		DUKE (CONT'D)
		(grabbing GONZO
		trying to hold him still)
	Holy shit!  Look at that bunch over
	there!  They've spotted us!

						20.


Cut to wider shot -- DUKE is holding on to a man standing
next to him at the bar.  The room has returned to normality.
GONZO is sitting in his original position.

		GONZO
		(downs his drink --
		gets up)
	That's the press table.  Where you
	have to sign in for our credentials.
	Shit, let's get it over with.  You
	handle that, and I'll check on the
	room.

		DUKE
	No, no.  Don't leave me!

Black screen.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DUSK

A TELEVISION shows the NIGHTLY NEWS.  A BUDDHIST MONK,
protesting the war, sets himself on fire.  A very nervous
BELL BOY is laying out GONZO's order.  A marlin spike is on
the floor next to DUKE.

		BELL BOY
	Four club sandwiches, four shrimp
	cocktails.

		DUKE
	There's a big... machine in the
	sky... some kind of electric snake...

DUKE is curled by the window -- MESMERIZED by an unseen neon
sign outside the window.  His eyes fill with a million
colored lights.

		BELL BOY
	... a quart of rum...

		DUKE
	... coming straight at us.

		GONZO
	Shoot it.

		DUKE
	Not yet.  I want to study its habits.

		BELL BOY
	... and nine fresh grapefruit.

						21.


		GONZO
	Vitamin C.  We'll need all we can
	get.

GONZO sees the BELL BOY out the door -- turns and lays into
DUKE.

		GONZO
	Look, you've got to stop this talk
	about snakes and leeches and
	lizards and that stuff.  It's
	making me sick!

DUKE stares -- hears the drone of B52 BOMBERS...

On TV: The LAOS INVASION -- A SERIES OF HORRIFYING
DISASTERS -- EXPLOSIONS AND TWISTED WRECKAGE.

Newsreel footage of MAI LAI MASSACRE and the LIEUTENANT
CALLEY court-martial.

		DUKE
	What are you talking about?

		GONZO
	You bastard!  They'll never let us
	back in that place.  I leave you
	alone for three minutes and you
	start waving that goddamn marlin
	spike around -- yelling about
	reptiles!  You scared the shit out
	of those people!  They were ready
	to call the cops.  Hell, the only
	reason they gave us press passes
	was to get you out of there...

A knock at the door.  DUKE and GONZO break out in a sweat.

		DUKE
	Oh my God!  Who's that?!

GONZO STICKS HIS GUN IN HIS WAISTBAND -- opens the door to
LACERDA -- BOUNCING WITH PUPPY DOG ENTHUSIASM.  GONZO stares
at a man he instantly hates -- watches him with deep
suspicion.

		LACERDA
	Duke?  I'm Lacerda your photographer.
	Got your press passes?  Good, good.
	Too bad you missed the bikes
	checking in.  My, what a sight!

DUKE watches the B-52S DROP THEIR BOMB LOADS.

						22.


Looking down to the thick, patterned carpet, DUKE sees the
BOMBS EXPLODE like vicious flowers.

DUKE looks up: LACERDA is a war photographer -- bruised,
filthy and blood spattered.  LACERDA approaches him --
talking a foreign language.

		LACERDA
	Husquavarnas.  Yamahas.  Kawaskis.
	Maicos.  Pursang.  Swedish Fireballs.
	Couple of Triumphs, here and there
	a CZ.  All very fast.  What a race
	it's gonna be.

DUKE screws up his eyes -- WILLS NORMALITY BACK.  LACERDA is
now just a keen photographer.L

		LACERDA
	Well, we start at dawn.  Get a good
	night's sleep.  I know I will.

And with a cheerful wave, he's gone.  DUKE is in shock.

		DUKE
		(weakly)
	That's good...

		GONZO
	I think he's lying to us.  I could
	see it in his eyes.

		DUKE
		(even weaker)
	They'll probably have a big net for
	us when we show up.

DUKE's attention returns to the devastation on the TV...

		GONZO
	Turn that shit off!

GONZO kills the TV.

Black screen.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Never lose sight of the primary
	responsibility.  Cover the story.
	But what was the story?  Nobody had
	bothered to say.

						23.


EXT. DESERT - DAWN

Against A BIG ORANGE SUN, on a concrete slab, MEN FIRE
SHOTGUNS into the dawn sky.  Clay pigeons shatter.  The Mint
Gun Club.

Next to them, MOTORCYCLES REV -- preparing for the MINT 400
RACE: A hundred BIKERS, MECHANICS and assorted MOTORSPORT
TYPES milling around in the pit area; taping headlights,
topping off oil in the forks, last minute bolt tightening.

DUKE wanders through.

		DUKE (V/O)
	The racers were ready at dawn.
	Very tense.  But the race didn't
	start until nine so we had three
	long hours to kill.

A sign by a long trestle table: "KOFFEE & DONUTS." DUKE
walks past -- ignoring the SMILING LADY behind the stall.

		DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
	Those of us who had been up all
	night were in no mood for coffee
	and donuts.  We wanted strong drink.
	We were, after all, the Absolute
	Cream of the National Sporting
	Press and we were gathered here, in
	Las Vegas, for a very special
	assignment.  And when it comes to
	things like this you don't fool
	around.

INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY

A real pit of iniquity.  Slot Machines.  Crap tables.  Smoke.
Drunken shouting.  The absolute cream of the NATIONAL
SPORTING PRESS.

DUKE is at the bar, engaged in drunken conversation with a
LIFE REPORTER...showing him his notebook.

		DUKE
	See..."Kill the body and the head
	will die"... the Frazier/Ali fight...

		MAGAZINE REPORTER
	A proper end to the 60's... Ali
	beaten by a human hamburger!

		DUKE
	And both Kennedy's murdered by
	mutants.

						24.


A SHOUT goes up from outside.  The sound of engines revving.

		REPORTER
	That's it!  They're starting!

In a sudden rush the PRESS CROWD make for the door taking
DUKE with them.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

MOTORCYCLES REV -- tension builds...

A flag goes down.  The CROWD cheers.  The MOTORCYCLES ROAR
AWAY.  A great cloud of dust goes up -- obscuring the RACERS
as they disappear into the desert...

A moment...

		REPORTER
	Well, that's that.  They'll be back
	in an hour or so.  Let's go back to
	the bar.

The CROWD turns and streams back into the tent.

INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY

DUKE heads for the bar along with the REST.  It's packed.
Drinks are ordered.

A shout from outside the tent goes up:

		VOICE OFF
	Group 2!

The CROWD rushes for the door.  DUKE gets swept along.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

MOTORCYCLES REV.  A flag goes down.  The CROWD cheers.  The
MOTORCYCLES ROAR AWAY.  Another great cloud of dust goes up...

The CROWD head back for the bar.

INT. RACE BAR TENT - DAY

The CROWD surge back to the bar.

		VOICE OFF
	Group 3!

This time DUKE fights his way free of the CROWD.

						25.


		DUKE (V/O)
	There was something like 190 more
	bikes waiting to start.  They were
	due to go off 10 at a time every 2
	minutes.

DUKE hits the bar.

		DUKE
	Beer!

A middle-aged HOODLUM in a T-shirt booms up to the bar.

		HOODLUM
	God damn!  What day is this --
	Saturday?

		DUKE
	More like Sunday.

		HOODLUM
	Hah!  That's a bitch, ain't it?
	Last night I was home in Long Beach
	and somebody said they were runnin'
	the Mint 400 today, so I says to my
	old lady, "Man, I'm goin'." So she
	gives me a lot of crap about it, so
	I start slappin' her around, and
	the next thing you know two guys I
	never seen before are beating me
	stupid.

		VOICE OFF
	Group 4!

Outside, another batch of motorcycles roar away -- kicking
up more clouds of dust.

		HOODLUM
	Then they gave me ten bucks, put me
	on a bus, and when I woke up here I
	was in downtown Vegas, and for a
	minute all I could think was, "O
	Jesus, who's divorcing me this
	time?" But then I remembered, by
	God!  I was here for the Mint 400.
	And, man, I tell you, it's wonderful
	to be here.  Just wonderful to be
	here with you people.

A silence.  A MAGAZINE REPORTER lunges across the bar --
grabs the BARTENDER.

						26.


		MAGAZINE REPORTER
	Senzaman wassyneeds!

		DUKE
		(smacks the bar with
		his palm)
	Hell yes!  Bring us ten!

		VOICE OFF
	Group 5!

		MAGAZINE REPORTER
		(screams)
	I'll back it!
		(slides off his stool
		to the floor)


Outside, motorcycles roar away.  The dust cloud billows into
the tent -- getting denser.

		MAGAZINE REPORTER (CONT'D)
		(on the floor)
	This is a magic moment in sport!
	It may never come again!  I once
	did the Triple Crown, but it was
	nothing like this.

A FROG-EYED WOMAN claws at the MAGAZINE REPORTER, tries to
haul him up.

		FROG-EYED WOMAN
	Please stand up!  You're a
	correspondent for a major national
	magazine who's name we can't get
	clearance for!  Please!  You'd be a
	very handsome man if you'd just
	stand up!

		MAGAZINE REPORTER
	Listen, madam.  I'm damn near
	intolerably handsome down here
	where I am.  You'd go crazy if I
	stood up!

A feverishly eager LACERDA appears out of the dust cloud, 3
cameras slung round his neck.

		LACERDA
	Club soda, please.

		FROG-EYED WOMAN
		(to MAGAZINE REPORTER)
	Please!  I love Life!

						27.


		LACERDA
		(to DUKE)
	Man, it's great out there!

		DUKE
	Lunatics.

LACERDA grins.

		VOICE OFF
	Group 6!

		LACERDA
	Meet you outside!

LACERDA downs his drink -- hurries out through the crowd and
out into the cloud of dust.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

Nothing.  Except for a THICK CLOUD OF DUST.

Barely visible, a motorcycle comes speeding into the pits.
The RIDER staggers off his bike.  The PIT CREW gas it up and
sends it back with a FRESH RIDER.

DUKE watches him disappear back into the dust cloud.

		DUKE (V/O)
	By 10 they were spread out all over
	the course.  It was no longer a
	race, now it was an Endurance
	Contest.  The idea of trying to
	"cover this race" in any
	conventional press sense was absurd.

A HORN HONKS.  A shiny BLACK BRONCO with DRIVER.  LACERDA
hangs out of the window.

		LACERDA
	It's great, isn't it?!  Jump in!

DUKE gets into the Bronco and they head into the DUST CLOUD.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

IN THE BRONCO.

DUKE hangs on with his beer.  Nothing all around but the
HUGE IMPENETRABLE CLOUD OF DUST.  LACERDA snaps madly away
at nothing at all!

						28.


		LACERDA
	I'll just keep trying different
	combos of film and lenses till I
	find one that works in this dust!

The SOUND OF MOTORCYCLES RACING...

We hear music and voices singing:

		BATTLE HYMN
	"...As we go marching on
	When I reach my final campground,
	in
	that land beyond the sun,
	And the Great Commander asks me..."
	[What did he ask you, Rusty?]
	"Did you fight or did you run?"

A moment later, the Bronco races out of the dust.  DUKE
coughs, chokes, drinks beer.

		BATTLE HYMN
		(continuing)
	[And what did you tell them,
	Rusty?]
	"We responded to their rifle fire
	with everything we had..."

The sound of gun shots...

A DUNE BUGGY races toward them, loaded down with THREE
RETIRED PETTY OFFICERS, DRUNK AS HELL.  The radio blares:
"THE BATTLE HYMN OF LIEUTENANT CALLEY."

The dune buggy is COVERED WITH OMINOUS SYMBOLS: SCREAMING
EAGLES CARRYING AMERICAN FLAGS IN THEIR CLAWS.  A slant-eyed
Snake being chopped to bits by a buzz-saw made of stars and
stripes.  A MACHINE GUN MOUNT on the passenger side.  They
yell over the roaring engines.

		DUNE BUGGY DRIVER
	Where's the damn race?

		DUKE
	Beats me.  We're just good patriotic
	Americans like yourself.

DUKE gives DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2 A NICE BIG GRIN.  In
response, the PASSENGER #2 narrows his eyes -- tightens his
grip on an automatic weapon.

		DUNE BUGGY DRIVER
		(suspiciously)
	What outfit you fellas with?

						29.


		DUKE
	The sporting press.  We're
	friendlies.  Hired geeks.

The DRIVER and DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2 exchange looks.

		DUKE
	If you want a good chase, you
	should get after that skunk from
	CBS News up ahead in the black jeep.
	He's the man responsible for that
	book, THE SELLING OF THE PENTAGON.

		DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #1
	HOT DAMN!

		DUNE BUGGY PASSENGER #2
	A black jeep, you say?

And they ROAR away.

		DUKE
	Take me back to the pits.

		LACERDA
	No, no -- we have to go on.  We
	need total coverage.

DUKE gets out of the Bronco.

		DUKE
	You're fired.

After a moment's hesitation, LACERDA and the BRONCO driver
roar away leaving DUKE alone in the cloud of dust.

		DUKE (V/O)
	It was time.  I felt, for an
	Agonizing Reappraisal of the whole
	scene.  The race was definitely
	under way.  I had witnessed the
	start; I was sure of that much.
	But what now?

EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - NIGHT

MUSIC PUMPS OUT.  CRUISING IN THE RED SHARK IN VEGAS.  THE
SKY SWIRLS WITH MILLIONS OF NEON LIGHTS CHASING EACH OTHER
IN BAROQUE PATTERNS ACROSS GIGANTIC HOTEL SIGNS.  PSYCHEDELIC
LIGHT SHOWS TO LURE AND DERANGE THE INNOCENT.  CITY OF LOST
SOULS.

						30.


		DUKE
	Turn up the radio!  Turn up the
	tape machine!  Roll the windows
	down.  Let's taste this cool desert
	wind!  Aaah, yes!  This is what
	it's all about!

DUKE, beer in hand, drives -- a big smile for the world.
GONZO scans The Vegas Visitor.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Total control now.  Tooling along
	the main drag on a Saturday night
	in Vegas, two good old boys in a
	fire apple red convertible...
	stoned, ripped, twisted... Good
	people!

		GONZO
	How about "Nickel Nick's Slot
	Arcade?" "Hot Slots," that sounds
	heavy.  Twenty-nine cent hotdogs...

		DUKE
	Look, what are we doing here?  Are
	we here to entertain ourselves, or
	to do the job?

		GONZO
	To do the job, of course.  Here we
	go... a Crab Louie and quart of
	muscatel for twenty dollars!

The Shark hits a bump.

		GONZO
	As your attorney I advise you to
	drive over to the Tropicana and
	pick up on Guy Lombardo.  He's in
	the Blue Room with his Royal
	Canadians.

They hit another bump.

		DUKE
	Why?

		GONZO
	Why what?

CUT to wide shot.  They are DRIVING AROUND IN CIRCLES in a
large casino parking lot, bumping over the dividers.

						31.


		DUKE
	Why should I pay out my hard-earned
	dollars to watch a fucking corpse.
	I don't know about you, but in my
	line of business it's important to
	be Hep.

EXT. DESERT ROOM HOTEL - NIGHT

TWO BIG SCREAMING FACES.

		DOORMAN #1
	What the hell are you doing?!

		DOORMAN #2
	You can't park here!

		DUKE
	Why not?  Is this not a reasonable
	place to park?

Reveal the RED SHARK parked on the sidewalk in front of the
Desert Inn.  TWO DOORMEN loom over the car hood.  The
MARQUEE says: TONIGHT.  DEBBIE REYNOLDS.

GONZO leaps from the car, waving a five-dollar bill at the
DOORMAN.

		GONZO
	We want this car parked!  We drove
	all the way from L.A. for this show.
	We're friends of Debbie's.

A pause, then... the DOORMAN pockets the bill, hands them a
parking stub.  DUKE and GONZO hurry into the hotel.

INT. DESERT FROM HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT

DUKE and GONZO walk through the lobby.  Black, mirrored,
sleek, classy.

		DUKE
	Holy shit!  They almost had us
	there!  That was quick thinking.

		GONZO
	What do you expect?  I'm your
	attorney.  You owe me five bucks.
	I want it now.

DUKE shrugs and hands over the $5.

						32.


		DUKE (V/O)
	This was Bob Hope's turf.  Frank
	Sinatra's.  Spiro Agnew's.  It
	seemed inappropriate to be haggling
	about nickel/dime bribes for the
	parking lot attendant.

A WINE-COLORED TUXEDO stops them at the entrance to the
ballroom.

		WINE-COLORED TUXEDO
	Sorry, full house.

		GONZO
	Goddamnit, we drove all the way
	from L.A.

		WINE-COLORED TUXEDO
	I said there are no seats left...
	at any price.

		GONZO
	Fuck seats!  We're old friends of
	Debbie's.  I used to romp with her.

GONZO and the WINE-COLORED TUXEDO get into an ugly arm-
waving negotiation.

		DUKE (V/O)
	After a lot of bad noise, he let us
	in for nothing provided we would
	stand quietly at the back and not
	smoke.

As DUKE and GONZO disappear through the door we can hear the
orchestra blasting out a HIGHLY BLANDIZED "SGT. PEPPER'S
LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND."

A beat.

The door flies open and BOUNCERS manhandle DUKE and GONZO
out.  Despite the rough treatment they're both SCREECHING
WITH LAUGHTER.

		GONZO
	Jesus creeping shit!

		DUKE
		(tears streaming)
	Did the mescaline just kick in?  Or
	was that Debbie Reynolds in a
	silver Afro wig?!

						33.


		GONZO
		(in hysteria)
	We wandered into a fucking time
	capsule!

EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - NIGHT

DUKE DRIVES FAST into the night.  They're both LAUGHING
HYSTERICALLY.

		DUKE
		(in hysteria)
	We wandered into a fucking time
	capsule!

THEN... GONZO finds a TINY TEAR IN HIS JACKET...

		GONZO
	What's this?...

GONZO is instantly MOROSE.

		GONZO
	That scum...

GONZO twists round in the car -- SCREAMS back into the night.

		GONZO
	SCUM!  I know where you live!  I'll
	find you and burn down your fucking
	house!

EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS - NIGHT

A hundred foot high neon clown: BAZOOKO CIRCUS.

The RED SHARK pulls up beneath the sign.

		DUKE
	This is the place.  They'll never
	fuck with us here.

		GONZO
	Where's the ether?  This mescaline
	isn't working.

EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT

Into the GLARING, CHASING LIGHTS of the entrance canopy
steps DUKE in EC/U holding a KLEENEX SOAKED IN ETHER TO HIS
NOSE.

						34.


		DUKE (V/O)
	Ah, devil ether.  It makes you
	behave like the village drunkard in
	some early Irish novel... total
	loss of all basic motor skills;
	blurred vision, no balance, numb
	tongue --
		(throws away kleenex)
	The mind recoils in horror, unable
	to communicate with the spinal
	column.  Which is interesting,
	because you can actually watch
	yourself behaving in this terrible
	way, but you can't control it.

DUKE and GONZO approach the entrance with elaborate care-
taking one step at a time -- trying to keep ahead of the drug.

		DUKE (V/O)
	You approach the turnstiles and
	know that when you get there, you
	have to give the man two dollars or
	he won't let you inside... but when
	you get there, everything goes wrong.

THE ETHER KICKS IN:

DUKE and GONZO BOUNCE off the walls, CRASH into OLD LADIES,
GIGGLE HELPLESSLY as they try to pay -- HANDS FLAPPING
CRAZILY, unable to get money out of their pockets.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Some angry Rotarian shoves you and
	you think: What's happening here?
	What's going on?  Then you hear
	yourself mumbling.

		DUKE
		(mumbling)
	Dogs fucked the Pope, no fault of
	mine.  Watch out!... Why money?  My
	name is Brinks; I was born... Born?

		GONZO
	Get sheep over side... women and
	children to armored car... orders
	from Captain Zeep.

The ATTENDANTS indulgently escort them through the TURNSTILES.

						35.


		DUKE (V/O)
	Ether is the perfect drug for Las
	Vegas.  In this town they love a
	drunk.  Fresh meat.  So they put us
	through the turnstiles and turned
	us loose inside.

INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT

Flames shoot up from below the casino.  Above, a HIGH WIRE
ACT with FOUR MUZZLED WOLVERINES, SIX NYMPHET SISTERS FROM
SAN DIEGO, TWO SILVER PAINTED POLACK BROTHERS, and THREE
KOREAN KITTENS.

The WOLVERINE chases a NYMPHET through the air.  TWO POLACKS
swing at it from opposite sides and they are instantly
locked in a death battle.

All plummet to the nets suspended over the GAMBLING TABLES
and SLOT MACHINES.  No one looks up.  The GAMBLERS REMAIN
INTENT ON THE SPINNING ROULETTE WHEEL, THE TURN OF THE CARD,
THE ROLL OF A DICE.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Bazooko Circus is what the whole
	hep world would be doing Saturday
	night if the Nazis had won the war.
	This was the Sixth Reich.

Something causes DUKE to look down.  A dwarf carrying drinks
on a tray is tugging DUKE's pants leg trying to get him to
move out of the way.

		DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
	A drug person can learn to cope
	with things like seeing their dead
	grandmother crawling up their leg
	with a knife in her teeth but,
	nobody should be asked to handle
	this trip.

GONZO and DUKE go upstairs walking past funhouse booths.
One of them is manned by an orangutan in costume.  A
FAIRGROUND BARKER grabs DUKE.

		FAIRGROUND BARKER
	Stand in front of this fantastic
	machine, my friend.  For just 99
	cents your likeness will appear 200
	hundred feet tall on a screen above
	downtown Las Vegas.

On a TV monitor a 200 FOOT HIGH DRUNKARD looms over the Las
Vegas skyline screaming OBSCENITIES.

						36.


		FAIRGROUND BARKER
	99 cents more for a voice message.
	Say whatever you want, fella.
	They'll hear you, don't worry about
	that.  Remember, you'll be 200 feet
	tall!

		ANOTHER BARKER
	Step right up!  Shoot the pasties
	off the nipples of this ten-foot
	bull-dyke and win a cotton candy
	goat!

INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS REVOLVING MERRY-GO-ROUND BAR - NIGHT

DUKE and GONZO sit on the revolving platform.  GONZO
stares -- glassy eyed -- coming apart.

		GONZO
	I hate to say this, but this place
	is getting to me.  I think I'm
	getting The Fear.

		DUKE
	Nonsense.  We came here to find the
	American Dream, and now we're right
	in the vortex you want to quit.
	You must realize that we've found
	the Main Nerve.

		GONZO
	That's what gives me The Fear.

		DUKE
	Look over there.  Two women fucking
	a Polar Bear.

		GONZO
	Please, don't tell me those things...
	Not now.
		(signals the waitress
		for two Wild Turkeys)
	This is my last drink.  How much
	money can you lend me?

		DUKE
	Not much.  Why?

		GONZO
	I have to go.

		DUKE
	GO?

						37.


		GONZO
	Yes.  Leave the country.  Tonight.

		DUKE
	Calm down.  You'll be straight in a
	few hours.

		GONZO
	No.  This is serious.  One more
	hour in this town and I'll kill
	somebody!

		DUKE
	OK.  I'll lend you some money.
	Let's go outside and see how much
	we have left.

		GONZO
	Can we make it?

		DUKE
	That depends on how many people we
	fuck with between here and the door.

		GONZO
	I want to leave fast.

		DUKE
	OK.  Lets pay this bill and get up
	very slowly.  It's going to be a
	long walk.
		(signals waitress who
		comes over)


		GONZO
		(suddenly to waitress)
	Do they pay you to screw that bear?

		WAITRESS
	What?

		DUKE
	He's just kidding.
		(to GONZO)
	Come on, Doc -- lets go downstairs
	and gamble.

GONZO trembles with fear -- walks to the edge of the
turntable.

		GONZO
	When does this thing stop?

						38.


		DUKE
	It won't stop.  It's not ever going
	to stop.

DUKE carefully steps off the turntable.

GONZO, eyes staring blindly ahead, squiting in fear and
confusion, rooted to the spot, is carried away.

		DUKE
	Don't move you'll come around.

DUKE reaches out to grab GONZO, who jumps back -- keeps
going around.

The BARTENDER narrows his eyes at them.

DUKE steps onto the merry-go-round -- hurries round the
bar -- approaching GONZO from the blind side and shoves
GONZO from behind.  GONZO goes down with a hellish scream.
DUKE approaches him with his hands in the air.  Smiling.

		DUKE
	You fell.  Let's go.

GONZO refuses to move and stands tense, fists clenched,
looking for somebody to hit...an old woman perhaps?

		DUKE (CONT'D)
	OK.  You stay here and go to jail.
	I'm leaving.

DUKE walks fast towards the stairs.  GONZO catches up with
him.

		GONZO
	Did you see that?  Some sonofabitch
	kicked me in the back.

		DUKE
	Probably the bartender.  He wanted
	to stomp you for what you said to
	the waitress.

		GONZO
	Good God!  Let's get out of here!
	Where's the elevator?

		DUKE
		(turning him in the
		opposite direction)
	Don't go near that elevator.
	That's just what they want us to
	do... trap us in a steel box and
	take us down to the basement.

						39.


EXT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS CASINO - NIGHT

DUKE and GONZO stumble out of the entrance.

		DUKE
	Don't run.  They'd like any excuse
	to shoot us.

		GONZO
		(in an extended fall)
	You drive!  I think there's
	something wrong with me.

INT. MINT HOTEL CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THEIR SUITE - NIGHT

DUKE AND GONZO RUN MADLY DOWN THE CORRIDOR... DUKE TAKING
CARE NOT TO STEP ON THE PATTERNED PART OF THE CARPET.

GONZO STRUGGLES with the key in the lock.

		GONZO
	Those bastards have changed the
	lock on us.  They probably searched
	the room.  Jesus, we're finished!

The door SUDDENLY SWINGS OPEN.  DUKE AND GONZO fall inside.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

		GONZO
	Bolt everything!  Use all chains!

DUKE locks the door.  The suite is crowded with ROOM SERVICE
GOODIES.  DUKE turns to see GONZO staring at two hotel room
keys.  EVERYTHING STOPS.

		GONZO
	Where did this one come from?

DUKE snatches a key.

		DUKE
	That's Lacerda's room.

GONZO smiles a slow smile...

		GONZO
	Yeah... I thought we might need it...

		DUKE
	What for?

GONZO snatches the key back.

						40.


		GONZO
	Let's go up there and blast him out
	of bed with the fire hose.

		DUKE
	No, we should leave the poor
	bastard alone.  I get the feeling
	that he's avoiding us for some
	reason.

		GONZO
	Don't kid yourself.  That Portuguese
	son of a bitch is dangerous.  He's
	watching us like a hawk.

		DUKE
	He told me he was turning in early...

GONZO utters an anguished cry -- slaps the wall with both
hands.

		GONZO
	That dirty bastard!  I knew it!
	He's got hold of my woman!

		DUKE
		(laughing)
	That little blonde groupie with the
	film crew?  You think he sodomized
	her?

		GONZO
	That's right, laugh about it!  You
	goddamn honkies are all the same!

GONZO SLASHES A GRAPEFRUIT with a HUGE RAZOR SHARP HUNTING
KNIFE.  DUKE blanches.

		DUKE
	Where'd you get that knife?

GONZO SLICES THE GRAPEFRUIT -- MANIACAL.

		GONZO
	Room service sent it up.  I wanted
	something to cut the limes.

GONZO SLICES THE GRAPEFRUIT -- INTO EIGHTHS!

		DUKE
	What limes?

GONZO SLICES -- SIXTEENTHS!

						41.


		GONZO
	They didn't have any.  They don't
	grow in the desert.

SLICE!  SLICE!  SLICE!

		GONZO
	That dirty toad bastard!  I knew I
	should have taken him out when I
	had the chance.  Now he has her.

SLICE!  SLICE!  SLICE!  GONZO SLASHES INSANELY!

DUKE watches -- straight-faced.

		DUKE (V/O)
	I remember the girl.  We'd had a
	problem with her in the elevator a
	few hours earlier: my attention had
	made a fool of himself.

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY (FLASHBACK)

An elevator door opens to reveal the SMILING FACES OF
LACERDA, THE BLONDE TV REPORTER AND HER CREW.

DUKE and GONZO stagger in.

LACERDA drops his smile.  He's standing beside the BLONDE TV
REPORTER.  A trembling GONZO moonily turns his eyes onto her.

		BLONDE TV REPORTER
		(to Gonzo)
	You must be a rider.  What class
	are you in?

		GONZO
	Class?  What the fuck do you mean?

		BLONDE TV REPORTER
	What do you ride?  We're filming
	the race for a TV series -- maybe
	we can use you.

		GONZO
	Use me?

		DUKE (V/O)
	Mother of God, I thought.  Here it
	comes.

GONZO is TREMBLING BADLY.  There's a moment of uncomfortable
silence.

						42.


		GONZO
		(suddenly shouting)
	I ride the BIG ONES!  The really
	BIG fuckers!

GONZO shows his teeth to LACERDA.  DUKE laughs trying to
defuse the scene.

		DUKE
	The Vincent Black Shadow.  We're
	with the Factory Team.

		TV CAMERAMAN
	Bullshit.

GONZO stills -- becomes dangerous -- zeros in on the TV
CAMERAMAN -- groin to groin...

		GONZO
	Wait a minute, pardon me lady, but
	I think there's some kind of
	ignorant chicken-sucker in this car
	who needs his face cut open.  You
	cheap honky faggots!  Which one of
	you wants to get cut?!

DEAD SILENCE.

Ding!  The elevator door opens, but nobody moves.  The door
closes.

Next floor.  Ding!  The door opens again.  A middle-aged
couple start to get in.  Change their minds.  The door closes.

INT. CORRIDOR - DAY

DUKE and GONZO run down the corridor.  GONZO LAUGHS WILDLY.

		GONZO
	Spooked!  They were spooked!  Like
	rats in a death cage!

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DAY

DUKE and GONZO CRASH into their hotel suite -- BOLT THE DOOR.
GONZO stops laughing.

		GONZO
	Goddamn.  It's serious now.  That
	girl understood.  She fell in love
	with me.

END FLASHBACK.

						43.


INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

SLICE!  SLICE!  SLICE!  GONZO with the BIG HUNTING KNIFE --
sliced grapefruit segments everywhere.

		GONZO
	Let's go up there and castrate that
	fucker!

GONZO pauses -- A MAD THOUGHT -- turns to DUKE.

		GONZO
		(squinting suspiciously)
	Have you made a deal with him?  Did
	you put him on to her?

		DUKE
		(backing slowly
		towards the door)
	Look you better put that blade away
	and get your head straight.  I have
	to put the car in the lot.

		DUKE (V/O)
	One of the things you learn, after
	years of dealing with drug people,
	is that you can turn your back on a
	person, but never turn your back on
	a drug.  Especially when it's
	waving a razor-sharp hunting knife
	in your eyes.

INT. CASINO/LOBBY MINT HOTEL

The MAGAZINE REPORTER is on the telephone.

		MAGAZINE REPORTER
	Las Vegas at dawn.  The racers are
	still asleep, the dust is still on
	the desert, fifty thousand dollars
	in prize money, slumbers darkly in
	the office safe at Del Webb's
	fabulous Mint Hotel...

DUKE walks past the REPORTER -- into THE CASINO, THE SAD,
MEAGRE CROWDS AROUND THE CRAP TABLES.  No joy.  DUKE watches.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Who are these people?  These faces!
	Where do they come from?  They look
	like caricatures of used car
	dealers from Dallas.
		(MORE)

						44.


		DUKE (V/O; CONT'D)
	And, sweet Jesus, there are a hell
	of a lot of them at four-thirty on
	a Monday morning.  Still humping
	the American dream, that vision of
	the big winner somehow emerging
	from the last minute predawn chaos
	of a stale Vegas casino.

DUKE stops at the Money Wheel, puts down a two dollar bill
on a number, the wheel turns, he loses.

		DUKE
	You bastards!

		DUKE (V/O)
	No.  Calm down.  Learn to ENJOY
	losing.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

DUKE walks back into the room.  We hear the LOUD STRAINS OF
THREE DOG NIGHT'S "JOY TO THE WORLD."

He walks to the bathroom and opens the door.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE BATHROOM - NIGHT

Submerged in green water, GONZO WALLOWS in the steaming tub.
Soap labels and grapefruit rinds float on the surface.  A
large empty pack of Neutrogena soap lies on the floor.  The
shower is on -- the tub overflowing.  THE TAPE RECORDER
PLAYS, from where it's plugged into the razor socket over
the sink.

DUKE turns off the shower -- notices a HUGE HUNK OF CHEWED
UP WHITE BLOTTER.

		DUKE
	You ate ALL THIS ACID?

No answer.

		DUKE
		(turning down the volume)
	You evil son of a bitch.  You
	better hope there's some Thorazine
	in that bag, because if there's
	not, you're in bad trouble.

		GONZO
	Music!  Turn it up.  Put that tape
	on.

						45.


		DUKE
	What tape?

		GONZO
	Jefferson Airplane. "White Rabbit."
	I want a rising sound.

		DUKE
	You're doomed.  I'm leaving here in
	two hours and then they're going to
	come up here and beat the mortal
	shit out of you with big saps.
	Right there in that tub.

		GONZO
	I dig my own graves.  Green water
	and the White Rabbit.  Put it on.

		DUKE
	OK.  But do me one last favor, will
	you.  Can you give me two hours?
	That's all I ask -- just two hours
	to sleep before tomorrow.  I
	suspect it's going to be a very
	difficult day.

He switches on the tape. "WHITE RABBIT" begins to build.

		GONZO
		(coolly)
	Of course, I'm your attorney, I'll
	give you all the time you need, at
	my normal rates: $45 an hour -- but
	you'll be wanting a cushion, so,
	why don't you just lay one of those
	$100 bills down there beside the
	radio, and fuck off?

		DUKE
	How about a check?

		GONZO
	Whatever's right.

DUKE moves the radio as far from the tub as he can and
leaves, closing the door behind him.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

DUKE goes across to the sofa and crashes -- exhausted.
Suddenly a great ripping and crashing noise in the bathroom.

		GONZO (V/O)
	Help!  You bastard!  I need help!

						46.


DUKE JUMPS up -- crosses to the bathroom door, muttering.

		DUKE
	Shit, he's killing himself!

INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT

DUKE RUSHES IN.  GONZO flails -- trying to reach the radio
with the shower curtain pole which he has ripped from its
mounts.

		GONZO
		(snarling)
	I want that fucking radio!

DUKE GRABS THE RADIO.

		DUKE
	Don't touch it!  Get back in that
	tub!

		GONZO
	Back the tape up.  I need it again!
	Let it roll!  Just as high as the
	fucker can go!  And when it comes
	to that fantastic note where the
	rabbit bites its own head off, I
	want you to THROW THAT FUCKING
	RADIO INTO THE TUB WITH ME!

DUKE stares down at GONZO.

		DUKE
	Not me.  It would blast you through
	the wall -- stone dead in ten
	seconds and they'd make me explain
	it!

		GONZO
	BULLSHIT!  Don't make me use this.

HIS ARM LASHES OUT OF THE WATER, HOLDING THE KNIFE.

		DUKE
	Jesus.

		GONZO
	Do it!  I want to get HIGHER!

DUKE considers this.  He's had enough.

						47.


		DUKE
	Okay.  You're right.  This is
	probably the only solution.
		(holds the PLUGGED IN
		TAPE/RADIO over the tub)
	Let me make sure I have it all
	lined up.  You want me to throw
	this thing into the tub when "WHITE
	RABBIT" peaks.  Is that it?

GONZO falls back into the water, smiling gratefully.

		GONZO
	Fuck yes.  I was beginning to think
	I was going to have to go out and
	get one of the goddamn maids to do
	it.

		DUKE
	Are you ready?

He switches "WHITE RABBIT" back on.  GONZO HOWLS AND MOANS
AND THRASHES TO THE MUSIC, straining to get over the top.

Meanwhile, DUKE picks up a grapefruit from the sink -- a
good two-pounder, he gets a grip on it... and when "WHITE
RABBIT" peaks... HE HURLS IT INTO THE TUB LIKE A CANNONBALL.

GONZO SCREAMS CRAZILY, THRASHING AND CHURNING -- CAUSING A
TIDAL WAVE.

DUKE JERKS THE RADIO CABLE OUT OF THE SOCKET -- SLAMS OUT OF
THE BATHROOM.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

DUKE slumps onto the sofa.

SILENCE.

GONZO RIPS OPEN THE BATHROOM DOOR, his eyes unfocused.  HE
WAVES THE RAZOR SHARP BLADE out in front of him -- LUNGES at
DUKE.  DUKE WHIPS OUT A CAN OF MACE.

		DUKE
	MACE!  YOU WANT THIS?

GONZO stops -- hisses.

		GONZO
	You bastard!  You'd do that,
	wouldn't you?

						48.


		DUKE
		(laughs)
	Why worry?  You'll like it.  Nothing
	in the world like a Mace high.
	Forty-five minutes on your knees
	with the dry heaves...

		GONZO
	You cheap honky sonofabitch...

		DUKE
	Why not?  Hell, just a minute ago,
	you were asking me to kill you!
	And now you want to kill me!  What
	I should do, goddamnit, is call the
	police!

		GONZO
	The cops?

		DUKE
	There's no choice.  I wouldn't dare
	go to sleep with you wandering
	around with a head full of acid and
	wanting to slice me up with that
	goddamn knife!

		GONZO
		(mumbles)
	Who said anything about slicing you
	up?  I just wanted to carve a
	little Z on your forehead.  Nothing
	serious.

GONZO shrugs and reaches for a cigarette on top of the TV set.

		DUKE
		(menaces him with the MACE)
	Get back in that tub.  Eat some
	reds and try to calm down.  Smoke
	some grass, shoot some smack --
	shit, do whatever you have to do,
	but let me get some rest.

GONZO turns toward the bathroom -- suddenly sad.

		GONZO
	Hell, yes.  You really need some
	sleep.  You have to work.  Goddamn.
	What a bummer.  Try to rest.  Don't
	let me keep you up.

						49.


GONZO shuffles back into the bathroom.  DUKE wedges a chair
up against the bathroom doorknob and puts the mace can next
to the clock.

DUKE turns on the TV.  WHITE NOISE FILLS THE ROOM.  He
collapses onto the sofa and lights up his lightbulb as pipe.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Ignore the nightmare in the bathroom.
	Just another ugly refugee from the
	Love Generation.

The WHITE NOISE snow storm on the TV is reflected in his
face.  The camera pulls back revealing THE ENTIRE WALL
BEHIND HIM TO BE SWIRLING WITH THE FIZZING SNOWSTORM PATTERN.

		DUKE (V/O)
	My attorney had never been able to
	accept the notion -- often espoused
	by former drug abusers -- that you
	can get a lot higher without drugs
	than with them.  And neither have
	I, for that matter.

The pattern on the wall changes to A 60'S VISCOUS OIL
LIGHTSHOW PATTERN.  With DUKE still sitting in the
foreground, the projected image widens to reveal the interior
of A HAIGHT ASHBURY DANCE HALL full of DANCING PROTO-HIPPIES.

INT. MATRIX CLUB - NIGHT

A slightly YOUNGER DUKE moves through the throng.  All the
action is in a DREAMLIKE SLOW-MOTION.

		DUKE (V/O)
	I recall one night in the Matrix.
	There I was -- a victim of the Drug
	Explosion.  A natural street freak,
	just eating whatever came by.

A ROAD-PERSON with a big pack on his back is shouting.  The
sound of his voice, like his movements, is in slow-motion.

		ROAD-PERSON
	Anybody want some L...S...D...?  I
	got all the makin's right here.
	All I need is a place to cook.

The camera pushes right into the ROAD-PERSON's mouth.

INT. MATRIX MEN'S ROOM - NIGHT

Still in slow motion, the YOUNGER DUKE is trying to eat a
HUGE SPANSULE OF ACID.  With difficulty.

						50.


		DUKE (V/O)
	I decided to eat only half at first.
	Good thinking.  But I spilled the
	rest on the sleeve of my red
	Pendleton shirt.

DUKE stares at his sleeve, uncertain what to do.  C/U of the
door to the men's room as a MUSICIAN enters speaking in
slow-motion.

		MUSICIAN
	What's the trouble?

		DUKE
		(also in slow-motion)
	Well, all this white stuff on my
	sleeve is LSD.

The MUSICIAN approaches and looks down at DUKE'S arm.  A
long pause.

Cut back to tight shot of door as it opens and a very clean-
cut, PREPPY, STOCKBROKER TYPE enters.  He freezes in horror.
We cut to his POV.  DUKE is standing in the middle of the
men's room with the MUSICIAN hunkered down at his side...
sucking on his sleeve.  A very gross tableau.  The
STOCKBROKER slowly eases out of the room.

		DUKE (V/O)
	With a bit of luck his life was
	ruined -- forever thinking that
	just behind some narrow door in all
	his favorite bars, men in red
	Pendleton shirts are getting
	incredible kicks from things he'll
	never know.

INT. A BAR - YEARS LATER - NIGHT

The STOCKBROKER LOOKING CONSIDERABLY OLDER sits looking
lost, confused, a nervous wreck.  The image flares out in a
TV white noise snowstorm.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

DUKE sits staring at the TV.

						51.


		DUKE (V/O)
	Strange memories on this nervous
	night in Las Vegas.
		(he gets up, pours
		himself a drink)
	Has it been five years?  Six?  It
	seems like a lifetime -- the kind
	of peak that never comes again.
	San Francisco in the middle sixties
	was a very special time and place
	to be a part of.  But no
	explanation, no mix of words or
	music or memories can touch that
	sense of knowing that you were
	there and alive in that corner of
	time and the world.  Whatever it
	meant.

DUKE throws open the curtains.  Light streams in.

EXT. 1965 STOCK FOOTAGE

We are in SAN FRANCISCO.  IMAGES OF THE TIME FLOOD IN.

		DUKE (V/O)
	THERE WAS MADNESS IN ANY DIRECTION,
	AT ANY HOUR... YOU COULD STRIKE
	SPARKS ANYWHERE.  THERE WAS A
	FANTASTIC UNIVERSAL SENSE THAT
	WHATEVER WE WERE DOING WAS RIGHT,
	THAT WE WERE WINNING.  AND THAT, I
	THINK, WAS THE HANDLE -- THAT SENSE
	OF INEVITABLE VICTORY OVER THE
	FORCES OF OLD AND EVIL.  NOT IN ANY
	MEAN OR MILITARY SENSE; WE DIDN'T
	NEED THAT.  OUR ENERGY WOULD SIMPLY
	prevail.  We had all the momentum;
	we were riding the crest of a high
	and beautiful wave...

DUKE'S FACE IS SUFFUSED WITH A SADNESS AND SERENITY WE HAVE
NEVER SEEN BEFORE.

		DUKE (V/O)
	So now, less than five years later,
	you can go up on a steep hill in
	Las Vegas and look west, and with
	the right kind of eyes you can
	almost see the high water mark --
	that place where the wave finally
	broke and rolled back.

						52.


The memories dissolve into the night skyline of Vegas.
Suddenly towering over the casinos is a 200 foot high Nazi
shouting "WOODSTOCK ÜBER ALLES!"

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

DUKE closes the curtain.  The room is in darkness again.

INT. MINT HOTEL SUITE - DAWN

A harsh door buzzer.  DUKE jerks awake.  Alone.  Looking
like shit.  Around him is the wreckage of their stay.

		DUKE (V/O)
	The decision to flee came suddenly.
	Or maybe not.

DUKE opens the door to a BELL BOY with a trolley load of
fruit, drinks and flowers... and a smile.

		BELL BOY
	Room service!

The BELL BOY wheels the trolley across the room -- already
stacked with EVEN MORE BOXES OF GOODIES.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Maybe I'd planned it all along --
	subconsciously waiting for the
	right moment.  The bill was a
	factor, I think.  Because I had no
	money to pay for it.

DUKE slams the door -- starts FRANTICALLY PACKING.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Our room service tabs had been
	running somewhere between $29 and
	$36 per hour, for forty-eight
	consecutive hours.  Incredible.
	How could it happen?

DUKE sees the DISCARDED WRAPPINGS OF EXPENSIVE, HAND TOOLED
LUGGAGE.  A sudden thought.  He rushes to GONZO's room --
empty.  His plastic briefcase remains on the bed...

		DUKE (V/O)
	But by the time I asked this
	question, there was no one around
	to answer.

DUKE opens the briefcase -- finds the .357 MAGNUM inside.

						53.


		DUKE (V/O)
	My attorney was gone.  He must have
	sensed trouble.

				     QUICK CUT TO:

EXT. LAS VEGAS AIRPORT - DAY

GONZO WAVES GOODBYE as he boards an airplane with a set of
brand-new fine cowhide luggage.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Panic.

INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE HOTEL SUITE - DAY

DUKE emerges with his bag and Gonzo's plastic briefcase --
leaves the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the door -- checks both
ways, then hurries away down the corridor.

		DUKE (V/O)
	It crept up my spine like first
	rising vibes of an acid frenzy.
	All these horrible realities began
	to dawn on me.

INT. MINT HOTEL ELEVATOR - DAY

An anxiety ridden DUKE watches the floor numbers as the
elevator descends.  He searches his pockets...

		DUKE (V/O)
	Here I was, alone in Las Vegas,
	with this goddamned incredibly
	expensive car, completely twisted
	on drugs, no cash, no story for the
	magazine.  And on top of everything
	else I had a gigantic goddamn hotel
	bill to deal with.

DUKE finds a last crumpled $5 bill.

The door opens.  A SECURITY GUARD enters with an OLD LADY IN
HANDCUFFS.

DUKE hides the bill -- crams back into the corner.  Doors
close.

		DUKE (V/O)
	I didn't even know who had won the
	race.  Maybe nobody.

						54.


INT. MINT HOTEL LOBBY - DAY

DUKE hurries out of the elevator -- eyes on a hovering
MANAGER.  Past the curious look of the reception CLERK.

		DUKE
		(muttering to himself)
	How would Horatio Alger have
	handled this situation?

EXT. MINT HOTEL - DAY

Motoring, DUKE gives his $5 bill to the HOTEL FRONT DOORMAN
with a smile.  The DOORMAN blows a frantic whistle and waves
at the CAR BOY.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Stay calm.  Stay calm.  I'm a
	relatively respectable citizen -- a
	multiple felon, perhaps, but
	certainly not dangerous.

The CAR BOY pulls up with a screech.  DUKE jumps in.  The
back seat is stacked with bars of Neutrogena, piles of Mint
400 t-shirts, boxes of grapefruit.

		DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
	Luckily, I had taken the soap and
	grapefruit and other luggage out to
	the car a few hours earlier.  Now
	it was only a matter of slipping
	the noose...

DUKE shifts into drive.  Deliverance!

		CLERK'S VOICE
	MR. DUKE!

DUKE freezes.

		CLERK'S VOICE
	Mr. Duke!  We've been looking for
	you!

		DUKE (V/O)
	The game was up!  They had me.

		DUKE
		(to himself)
	Well, why not?  Many fine books
	have been written in prison.

						55.


Resigned, DUKE turns off the ignition.  A young CLERK
arrives breathlessly with a smile and a YELLOW LETTER IN HIS
HAND.

		CLERK
	Sir?
		(thrusts out a TELEGRAM)
	This telegram came for you.
	Actually, it isn't for you.  It's
	for somebody named Thompson, but it
	says 'care of Raoul Duke'.  does
	that make sense?

		DUKE
		(barely able to speak)
	Yes... It makes sense.

DUKE stuffs the telegram into his top pocket.

The CLERK peers into the car -- sees part of the enormous
stash inside.

		CLERK
	I checked the register for this man
	Thompson.  We don't show him but I
	figured he might be part of your
	team.

		DUKE
	He is.  Don't worry, I'll get it to
	him.

He fires up the engine -- eases the RED SHARK into low gear.

SECURITY GUARDS are looking across -- sharing a quiet word
or two.

		CLERK
	What confused us was Dr. Gonzo's
	signature on the telegram from Los
	Angeles.  When we knew he was right
	here in the hotel.

		DUKE
	You did the right thing.  Never try
	to understand a press message.
	About half the time we use codes --
	especially with Dr. Gonzo.

		CLERK
	Tell me.  When will the doctor be
	awake?

						56.


		DUKE
		(tenses)
	Awake?  What do you mean?

DUKE's eyes are on the SECURITY GUARDS -- moving closer.

		CLERK
		(uncomfortably)
	Well... the manager, Mr. Heem,
	would like to meet him.  Nothing
	unusual.  Mr. Heem likes to meet
	all our large accounts... put them
	on a personal basis... just a chat
	and a handshake, you understand.

		DUKE
	Of course.  But if I were you, I'd
	leave the Doctor alone until after
	he's eaten breakfast.  He's a very
	crude man.

DUKE edges the car forward, but is stopped by the CLERK.

		CLERK
	But he will be available?  Perhaps
	later this morning?

		DUKE
	Look.  That telegram was all
	scrambled.  It was actually from
	Thompson, not to him.  Western
	Union must have gotten the names
	reversed.  I have to get going.  I
	have to get out to the track.

		CLERK
	There's no hurry!  The race is over!

		DUKE
		(taking off)
	Not for me.

He waves the CLERK off the car -- roars away.

		CLERK
	Let's have lunch!

		DUKE
	Righto!

EXT. ROAD OUT OF VEGAS - DAY

DUKE drives the RED SHARK out of Vegas.

						57.


A "YOU ARE LEAVING LAS VEGAS" sign flashes past.

Bob Dylan plays: "Memphis Blues Again -- "Aaww, Mama, can
this really by the end...?"

A sign: LOS ANGELES -- 400 miles.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Jesus, bad waves of paranoia,
	madness, fear and loathing --
	intolerable vibrations in this
	place.  Get out!  The weasels were
	closing in.  I could smell the ugly
	brutes.  Flee!

DUKE drives fast.

		DUKE
	Do me one last favor Lord: just
	give me five more high-speed hours
	before you bring the hammer down;
	just let me get rid of this goddamn
	car and off of this horrible desert.

A sign flashes "YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE."

A patrol car pulls out behind him, lights flashing.

		DUKE (CONT'D)
	You evil bastard!  This is your
	work!  You'd better take care of
	me, Lord... because if you don't
	you're going to have me on your
	hands.

The patrol car screams after the RED SHARK.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Few people understand the psychology
	of dealing with a Highway Traffic
	Cop.  Your normal speeder will
	panic and immediately pull over to
	the side.  This is wrong.

DUKE floors the gas pedal.

		DUKE (V/O)
	It arouses contempt in the cop heart.

THE SPEEDOMETER CLIMBS STEADILY.

						58.


		DUKE (V/O)
	Make the bastard chase you.  He
	will follow.  But he won't know
	what to make of your blinker signal
	that says you're about to turn right.

DUKE signals right.  The RED SHARK screams at 120 mph.

		DUKE (V/O)
	This is to let him know you're
	looking for a proper place to pull
	off and talk.

AN EXIT OFF RAMP: MAX SPEED 25.

DUKE hits the brakes.  The COP brakes.

		DUKE (V/O)
	It will take him a moment to
	realize that he is about to make
	180 degree turn at speed... but you
	will be ready for it, braced for
	the G's and the fast heel toe work.

The patrol car spins and fishtails crazily out of control.

EXT. SCENIC PICNIC AREA - DAY

The patrol car comes skidding around the corner.  DUKE
stands beside the RED SHARK, completely relaxed and smiling.

The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN gets out of the car, screaming.

		HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
	Just what the FUCK did you think
	you were doing?!

DUKE smiles.

		HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
	May I see your license.

		DUKE
	Of course, officer.

DUKE reaches for it.  And BOTH MEN look down at a beer
can -- which DUKE had, somehow, forgotten was in his hand.

		DUKE (V/O)
	I knew I was fucked.

The COP relaxes -- actually smiles... He reaches out for
DUKE's wallet, then holds out his other hand for the beer.

						59.


		HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
	Could I have that, please?

		DUKE
	Why not?  It was getting warm anyway.

The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN takes it, pours out the beer --
glances in the back seat of the RED SHARK.  Amongst the bars
of soap... A case of warm beer.  DUKE smiles back at him.

		HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
	You realize...

		DUKE
	Yeah.  I know.  I'm guilty.  I
	understand that.  I knew it was a
	crime but I did it anyway.  Shit,
	why argue?  I'm a fucking criminal.

		HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
	That's a strange attitude.

He looks at DUKE thoughtfully.

		HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
	You know -- I get the feeling you
	could use a nap.  There's a rest
	area up ahead.  Why don't you pull
	over and sleep a few hours?

		DUKE
	A nap won't help.  I've been awake
	for too long -- three or four
	nights.  I can't even remember.  If
	I go to sleep now, I'm dead for
	twenty hours.

The HIGHWAY PATROLMAN smiles.

		HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
	Okay.  Here's how it is.  What goes
	into my book, as of noon, is that I
	apprehended you... for driving too
	fast, and advised you to proceed no
	further than the next rest area...
	your stated destination, right?
	Where you plan to take a long nap.
	Do I make myself clear?

		DUKE
	How far is Baker?  I was hoping to
	stop there for lunch.

						60.


		HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
	Not my jurisdiction.  The city
	limits are two point two miles
	beyond the rest area.  Can you make
	it that far?

		DUKE
	I'll try.  I've been wanting to go
	to Baker for a long time.  I've
	heard a lot about it.

The PATROLMAN holds the door for DUKE who gets in.

		HIGHWAY PATROLMAN
	Excellent seafood.  With a mind
	like yours, you'll probably want to
	try the land-crab.  Try the Majestic
	Diner.

The PATROLMAN slams the door shut.

EXT. DESERT ROAD - DAY

DUKE drives away -- teeth gritted.

		DUKE (V/O)
	I felt raped.  The Pig had done me
	on all fronts, and now he was going
	off to chuckle about it -- on the
	west side of town, waiting for me
	to make a run for L.A.

DUKE drives past the rest area to an intersection where he
signals to turn right into Baker.  As he approaches the turn
he sees the HITCHHIKER!  As DUKE slows to make the turn
their eyes meet.  DUKE is about to wave -- but the HITCHHIKER
drops his thumb.

		DUKE
	Great Jesus, it's him.

DUKE, spooked, SPINS THE RED SHARK round -- ROARS BACK THE
WAY HE CAME.

EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

DUKE on the public phone booth -- screaming.

		DUKE
	They've nailed me!  I'm trapped in
	some stinking desert crossroads
	called Baker.  I don't have much
	time.  The fuckers are closing in.
	They'll hunt me down like a beast!

						61.


INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

GONZO sits surrounded by legal papers and law books.  Mexican
Day of the Dead masks hang from the walls -- flame-red demons.

		GONZO
	Who?  You sound a little paranoid.

EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

DUKE screams -- sweat pouring.

		DUKE
	You bastard!  I need a lawyer
	immediately!

INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

		GONZO
	What are you doing in Baker?
	Didn't you get my telegram?

EXT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

		DUKE
	What?  Fuck telegrams.  I'm in
	trouble.  You worthless bastard.
	I'll cripple your ass for this!
	All that shit in the car is yours!
	You understand that?  When I finish
	testifying out here you'll be
	disbarred!

INT. GONZO'S OFFICE - DAY

		GONZO
	You're supposed to be in Vegas.  We
	have a suite at the Flamingo.  I
	was just about to leave for the
	airport.

INT. BAKER TRUCK STOP - DAY

DUKE pulls out the telegram from his top pocket.

		GONZO'S VOICE
	You brainless scumbag!  You're
	supposed to be covering the National
	District Attorney's conference!  I
	made all the reservations... rented
	a white Cadillac convertible... the
	whole thing is arranged!  What the
	hell are you doing out there in the
	middle of the fucking desert?

						62.


DUKE stares at the telegram.

		DUKE
	Never mind.  It's all a big joke.
	I'm actually sitting beside the
	pool at the Flamingo.  I'm talking
	from a portable phone.  Some dwarf
	brought it out from the casino.  I
	have total credit!  Can you grasp
	that?
		(shouts)
	Don't come anywhere near this place!
	Foreigners aren't welcome here!

DUKE, breathing heavily, hangs up phone.

EXT. DESERT - DAY

C/U of .357 Magnum cylinder being spun.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Well.  This is how the world works.

C/U An IGUANA basks in the sun.

		DUKE (V/O)
	All energy flows according to the
	whims of the Great Magnet.

C/U Barrel of the gun.  It fires.  An explosion of desert
dirt.

		DUKE (V/O)
	What a fool I was to defy Him.

The IGUANA sits unfazed.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Never cross the Great Magnet.  I
	understood this now...
		(another blast from
		the gun)
	... and with understanding came a
	sense of almost terminal relief.

DUKE stands alone in the vast desert firing at nothing, the
thuds of the explosions echo away.

EXT. ROAD INTO VEGAS - DAY

The RED SHARK driving back towards Las Vegas.

						63.


		DUKE (V/O)
	I had to get rid of The Shark.  Too
	many people might recognize it...
	...especially the Vegas Police.
		(tight C/U of DUKE)
	Luckily, my credit card was still
	technically valid.

PULL BACK TO REVEAL:

DUKE, now driving a white Cadillac Coupe de Ville -- THE
WHITE WHALE.

DUKE pushes buttons -- lowers the top.

		DUKE (V/O)
	This was a superior machine -- ten
	grand worth of gimmicks and high
	price special effects.  The rear
	windows leapt up with a touch like
	frogs in a dynamited pond.  The
	dashboard was full of esoteric
	lights and dials and meters that I
	would never understand.

EXT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - AFTERNOON

A GIANT SIGN: THE FLAMINGO WELCOMES THE NATIONAL DA'S
CONFERENCE ON NARCOTICS & DANGEROUS DRUGS.

		DUKE (V/O)
	If the Pigs were gathering in
	Vegas, I felt the Drug Culture
	should be represented as well...
	and there was a certain bent appeal
	in the notion of running a savage
	burn on one Las Vegas hotel and
	then just wheeling across town and
	checking into another.

The WHITE WHALE turns into a VIP parking slot, immediately
attended by impressed MINIONS.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Me and a thousand ranking cops from
	all over America.  Why not?  Move
	confidently into their midst.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL LOBBY - AFTERNOON

DUKE enters -- old Levis, grubby sneakers, 10 peso Acapulco
shirt coming apart at the seams, 3 day growth, eyes hidden
behind mirror shades.  He heads for the check-in line.

						64.


		DUKE (V/O)
	My arrival was badly timed.

THE PLACE IS FULL OF COPS.  200 of them, on vacation, all
dressed in cut price Vegas casuals: plaid Bermuda shorts,
Arnie Palmer golf shirts, and rubberized beach sandals.

Ahead of DUKE -- A POLICE CHIEF argues with the DESK CLERK.
The POLICE CHIEF'S AGNEW STYLE WIFE stands to the side,
weeping.  The POLICE CHIEF'S FRIENDS stand uneasily around.

		POLICE CHIEF
	What do you mean I'm too late to
	register?  I'm a police chief.
	From Michigan.  Look, fella, I told
	you.
		(waves a POSTCARD)
	I have a postcard here that says I
	have reservations in this hotel.

		CLERK
		(prissily)
	I'm sorry, sir.  You're on the
	"late list." Your reservations were
	transferred to the... ah...
	Moonlight Motel, which is out on
	Paradise Boulevard...

		POLICE CHIEF
	I've already paid for my goddamn
	room!

		CLERK
	It's actually a very fine place of
	lodging and only sixteen blocks
	from here, with its own pool and...

		POLICE CHIEF
	You dirty little faggot!  Call the
	manager!  I'm tired of listening to
	this dogshit!

FRIENDS restrain the POLICE CHIEF.

		CLERK
		(solicitously)
	I'm so sorry, sir.  May I call you
	a cab?

The POLICE CHIEF's screamed insults fade away...

		DUKE (V/O)
	Of course, I could hear what the
	Clerk was really saying...

						65.


		CLERK
		(IN DUKE'S IMAGINATION)
	Listen, you fuzzy little shithead --
	I've been fucked around, in my
	time, by a fairly good cross-
	section of mean-tempered rule-crazy
	cops and now it's MY turn. "Fuck
	you, officer, I'm in charge here,
	and I'm telling you we don't have
	room for you."

DUKE steps to the desk, around the raging POLICE CHIEF.

		DUKE
	Say.  I hate to interrupt, but I
	wonder if maybe I could just sort
	of slide through and get out of
	your way.  Name's Raoul Duke --
	Raoul Duke.  My attorney made the
	reservation.

DUKE snaps a credit card down onto the counter.  EVERYONE
goes silent.  The POLICE CHIEF GROUP stares at him like he
was some kid of water rat crawling up to the desk.  The
CLERK hits the bell for the BELLBOY.

		CLERK
	Certainly, Mr. Duke!

		DUKE
	My bags are out there in that white
	Cadillac convertible.  Can you have
	someone drive it around to the room?

ALL EYES turn to the gleaming WHITE WHALE.

		DUKE
	Oh, and could I get a quart of Wild
	Turkey, two fifths of Baccardi, and
	a night's worth of ice delivered to
	my room, please?

		CLERK
	Don't worry about a thing, sir.
	Just enjoy your stay.

		DUKE
	Well, thank you.

DUKE gives the POLICE CHIEF a polite smile -- crosses to the
elevator -- turns to face the GAWPING COPS -- pops a can of
beer and toasts them.  The doors close.

						66.


INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE SUITE - DAY

DUKE rams the key home -- swings the door open.

		DUKE
	Ah, home at last!

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - AFTERNOON

DUKE enters.  The door hits something with a thud.

A 16-year-old GIRL with the aura of an angry Pit Bull.

GONZO stands in the bathroom doorway -- stark naked with a
drug-addled grin on his face.

		DUKE
	You degenerate pig!

		GONZO
	It can't be helped.  This is Lucy.
		(laughing distractedly)
	You know--like "Lucy In The Sky
	With Diamonds."

LUCY eyes DUKE venomously.

		GONZO
	Lucy!  Lucy, be cool, goddamnit!
	Remember what happened at the
	airport!  No more of that, okay?

LUCY keeps her eyes on DUKE.  GONZO idles over and puts his
arm round her shoulder.

		GONZO
	Lucy... this is my client.  This is
	Mr. Duke, the famous journalist.
	He's paying for this suite, Lucy.
	He's on our side.

DUKE flops onto the sofa.

		GONZO
	Mr. Duke is my friend.  He loves
	artists.

DUKE notices for the first time that the room is full of
artwork.  Maybe 40 or 50 portraits, some in oil, some in
charcoal, all more or less the same size and same face.

		GONZO
	Lucy paints portraits of Barbra
	Streisand.

						67.


		LUCY
	I drew these from TV.

		GONZO
	Fantastic.  She came all the way
	down here from Montana just to give
	these portraits to Barbra.  We're
	going over to the Americana Hotel
	tonight to meet her backstage...

DUKE's voice rises above GONZO.

		DUKE (V/O)
	I desperately needed peace, rest,
	sanctuary.  I hadn't counted on
	this.  Finding my attorney on acid
	and locked into some kind of
	preternatural courtship.

		DUKE
	Well, I guess they brought the car
	round by now.  LET'S GET THE STUFF
	OUT OF THE TRUNK.

DUKE fixes GONZO hard.

		GONZO
	Absolutely, LET'S GET THE STUFF.
		(to LUCY)
	Now, we'll be right back.  Don't
	answer the phone if it rings.

		LUCY
		(makes one-fingered
		Jesus freak sign)
	God bless.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - CORRIDOR OUTSIDE SUITE - DAY

DUKE collars GONZO -- serious.

		DUKE
	WELL?  What are your plans?

		GONZO
	Plans?

		DUKE
	Lucy.

						68.


		GONZO
		(struggling to focus)
	Shit.  I met her on the plane and I
	had all that acid.
		(he shrugs)
	You know, those little blue barrels.
	I gave her a cap before I realized...
	she's a religious freak... Jesus,
	she's never even had a drink.

		DUKE
	Well... It'll probably work out.
	We can keep her loaded and peddle
	her ass at the drug convention.

GONZO stares uneasily at DUKE.

		GONZO
	Listen, she's running away from
	home for something like the fifth
	time in six months.  It's terrible.

		DUKE
	She's perfect for this gig.  These
	cops will go fifty bucks a head to
	beat her into submission and then
	gang fuck her.  We can set her up
	in one of these back street motels,
	hang pictures of Jesus all over the
	room, then turn these pigs loose on
	her... Hell she's strong; she'll
	hold her own.

GONZO's face twitches badly.

		GONZO
	Jesus Christ.  I knew you were sick
	but I never expected to hear you
	actually say that kind of stuff.

		DUKE
	It's straight economics.  This girl
	is a god-send.  Shit, she can make
	us a grand a day.

		GONZO
	NO!  Stop talking like that.

		DUKE
	I figure she can do about four at a
	time.  Christ, if we keep her full
	of acid that's more like two grand
	a day.  Maybe three.

						69.


		GONZO
	You filthy bastard.  I should cave
	your fucking head in.

		DUKE
	In a few hours, she'll probably be
	sane enough to work herself into a
	towering Jesus-based rage at the
	hazy recollection of being seduced
	by some kind of cruel Samoan who
	fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her
	to a Vegas hotel room and savagely
	penetrated every orifice in her
	body with his throbbing,
	uncircumcised member.

GONZO starts crying.

		GONZO
	NO!  I felt sorry for the girl, I
	wanted to help her!

		DUKE
	You'll go straight to the gas
	chamber.  And even if you manage to
	beat that, they'll send you back to
	Nevada for Rape and Consensual
	Sodomy.  She's got to go.

Pause.

		GONZO
	Shit, it doesn't pay to try to help
	somebody these days.

A silence.

		DUKE (V/O)
	The only alternative was to take
	her out to the desert and feed her
	remains to the lizards.  But, it
	seemed a bit heavy for the thing we
	were trying to protect: My attorney.

		GONZO
	We have to cut her loose.  She's
	got two hundred dollars.  And we
	can always call the cops up there
	in Montana, where she lives, and
	turn her in.

		DUKE
	What?... What kind of goddamn
	monster are you?

						70.


		GONZO
	It just occurred to me, that she
	has no witnesses.  Anything that
	she says about us is completely
	worthless.

		DUKE
	Us?

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - SUNSET

DUKE is speaking into the phone in hushed tones.

		DUKE
	Hotel Americana?  I need a
	reservation.  For my niece.  Listen,
	I need her treated very gently.
	She's an artist, and might seem a
	trifle highstrung...

In the background GONZO helps LUCY and her paintings out the
door.

		GONZO
	Okay, Lucy, it's time to go meet
	Barbra...

		DUKE (V/O)
	I felt like a Nazi, but it had to
	be done.

EXT. ON THE STREETS - A CAB STAND - DUSK

The WHITE WHALE pulls up -- DUKE at the wheel.  GONZO helps
LUCY and her paintings from the car.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Lucy was a potentially fatal
	millstone on both our necks.  There
	was absolutely no choice but to cut
	her adrift and hope her memory was
	fucked.

GONZO unrolls a couple of bills -- pays off a CAB DRIVER --
waves to LUCY in the back with her paintings.  She's starting
to come down...

GONZO gets back in the WHITE WHALE and slaps his hands
together as if washing his hands of the situation.

		GONZO
	Well that's that.  Take off slowly.
	Don't attract attention.

						71.


They pull out into traffic.

EXT. LAS VEGAS STREETS - DUSK

		GONZO
	I gave the cabbie an extra ten
	bucks to make sure she gets there
	safe.  Also, I told him I'd be
	there myself in an hour, and if she
	wasn't, I'd come back out here and
	rip his lungs out.

		DUKE
	That's good.  You can't be subtle
	in this town.

		GONZO
	As your attorney, I advise you to
	tell me where you put the goddamn
	mescaline.

		DUKE
	Maybe we should take it easy tonight.

		GONZO
	Right.  Let's find a good seafood
	restaurant and eat some red salmon.
	I feel a powerful lust for red
	salmon...

The electric WHITE WHALE heads off down the Strip.  The
sun's going down behind the scrub hills, a good Kristofferson
tune croaks on the radio in the warm dusk.

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - BATHROOM - NEXT MORNING

GONZO throws up in the toilet bowl.

In the background, DUKE opens curtains.  Daylight blinds him.

		DUKE
	Come on, we're going to be late.

GONZO looks up at his sick reflection -- wipes his mouth
with a towel.

		GONZO
	This goddamn mescaline.  Why the
	fuck can't they make it a little
	less pure?  Maybe mix it up with
	Rolaids or something.

						72.


INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - DAY

		EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
		(crackling and
		booming over the
		lousy sound system)
	On behalf of the prosecuting
	attorneys of this county, I welcome
	you to the Third National DA's
	Conference on Narcotics and
	Dangerous Drugs.

The EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR -- well groomed, GOP businessman
type -- speaks from the podium.  A banner behind him reads:
NATIONAL DA'S CONVENTION 1971. "If You Don't Know, Come To
Learn... If You Know, Come To Teach."

A BIG MIXED CROWD: TOP LEVEL STRAIGHT COPS, UNDERCOVER NARCS
AND OTHER TWILIGHT TYPES -- beards, mustaches and super-Mod
dress.  Just because you're a cop, doesn't mean you can't be
WITH IT!  However, for every URBAN-HIPSTER there are around
20 REDNECKS.

A dozen big, low-fidelity speakers mounted on steel poles
distort and feed back the EXECUTIVE's voice through the room.

At the back, under a loudspeaker, sits DUKE -- $40 FBI
wingtips, a Pat Boone madras sportcoat, and an official name
tag: RAOUL DUKE, PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR, L.A.

GONZO sits beside him.  His name tag: DR. GONZO.  EXPERT,
CRIMINAL DRUG ANALYSIS.  He's nervous -- close to the edge.

		GONZO
		(lowers his voice)
	I saw these bastards in Easy Rider,
	but I didn't believe they were real.
	Not like this.  Not hundreds of them!

		DUKE
	They're actually nice people when
	you get to know them.

		GONZO
	Man, I know these people in my
	goddamn blood!

		DUKE
	Don't mention that word around here.
	You'll get them excited.

		GONZO
	This is a fucking nightmare.

						73.


		DUKE
	Right.  Sure as hell some dope-
	dealing bomb freak is going to
	recognize you and put the word out
	that you're partying with a thousand
	cops.

		COP IN BACK
	SSSSHHH!

DR. BLUMQUIST -- a "drug expert" -- takes the stage.

		DR. BLUMQUIST
	We must come to terms with the Drug
	Culture in the country... country...
	country...

The sound systems echoes.

		DR. BLUMQUIST (CONT'D)
	The reefer butt is called a "roach,"
	because it resembles a cockroach...
	cockroach... cockroach...

		GONZO
		(whispers)
	What the fuck are these people
	talking about?  You'd have to be
	crazy on acid to think a joint
	looked like a goddamn cockroach!

		DUKE (V/O)
	It was clear that we had stumbled
	into a prehistoric gathering.

		DR. BLUMQUIST
	Now, there are four states of being
	in the cannabis, or marijuana,
	society: Cool, Groovy, Hip, and
	Square.  The square is seldom if
	ever cool.  He is not "with it,"
	that is, he doesn't know "what's
	happening." But if he manages to
	figure it out, he moves up a notch
	to "hip."

DUKE and GONZO listen in disbelief.

		DR. BLUMQUIST (CONT'D)
	And if he can bring himself to
	approve of what is happening, he
	becomes "groovy." After that, with
	much luck and perseverance, he can
	rise to the rank of "cool." A cool
	guy... cool guy... cool guy...

						74.


		COP IN BACK
	Dr. Bloomquist, do you think the
	anthropologist, Margaret Mead's
	strange behavior of late might
	possibly be explained by a private
	marijuana addiction?

		DR. BLUMQUIST
	I really don't know, but at her
	age, if she did smoke grass, she'd
	have one hell of a trip!

Roars of laughter.

		GONZO
	I know a hell of a lot better ways
	to waste my time than listening to
	this bullshit.

He stands, knocking the ashtray off his chair arm, and
plunges down the aisle to the door.

		COP IN BACK
	Down in front!

		GONZO
	Fuck you!  I have to get out!  I
	don't belong here!

		COP IN BACK
	Good riddance!

He stumbles from the room.  DUKE turns his attention back to
the stage.

The lights go down.  A black & white film -- REEFER
MADNESS! -- illustrates his now evangelical talk.

		FILM NARRATOR
	KNOW YOUR DOPE FIEND!  YOUR LIFE
	MAY DEPEND ON IT!  You will not be
	able to see his eyes because of
	Tea-Shades, but his knuckles will
	be white from inner tension...

DUKE turns his attention to a 340 pound TEXAN POLICE CHIEF
who necks with his 290 pound WIFE beside him.

		FILM NARRATOR
	... and his pants will be crusted
	with semen from constantly jacking
	off when he can't find a rape
	victim...

						75.


DUKE gazes at the TEXAN and his WIFE. -- Feigning sickness,
he gets up, hand over mouth.

		DUKE
	Pardon me, I feel sick.

		FILM NARRATOR
	He will stagger and babble when
	questioned.  He will not respect
	your badge.  The Dope Fiend fears
	nothing.  He will attack, for no
	reason, with every weapon at his
	command -- including yours...

DUKE heads for the exit.

		DUKE
	Sorry, sick... Beg pardon!  Feeling
	sick...

		FILM NARRATOR
	BEWARE.  Any officer apprehending a
	suspected marijuana addict should
	use all necessary force immediately.
	One stitch in time [on him] will
	usually save nine on you.

DUKE CRASHES OUT THROUGH THE DOOR.

INT. CASINO BAR - DAY

DUKE sees GONZO at the bar -- talking to a SPORTY LOOKING
COP about 40 whose name tag identifies him as a DISTRICT
ATTORNEY FROM GEORGIA.

		DA
	I'm a whiskey man myself.  We don't
	have much trouble from drugs where
	I come from...

		GONZO
	You will.  One of these nights
	you'll wake up and find a junkie
	tearing your bedroom apart.

		DA
	Naw!

		GONZO
	They'll climb right into your
	bedroom and sit on your chest with
	big Bowie knives.  They might even
	sit on your wife's chest.  Put the
	blade right down on her throat.

						76.


		DA
	Not down in my parts.

DUKE joins them.

		DUKE
		(to WAITRESS)
	Rum and ice, please.

		DA
		(looks at DUKE'S NAME TAG)
	You're another one of these
	California boys.  Your friend
	here's been tellin' us about dope
	fiends.

		DUKE
	They're everywhere.  Nobody's safe.
	And sure as hell not in the South.
	They like warm weather... You'd
	never believe it.  In L.A. it's out
	of control.  First it was drugs,
	now it's witchcraft.

		DA
	Witchcraft?  Shit, you can't mean it!

The BARTENDER cleans his glasses, one ear straining for the
conversation.

		GONZO
	Read the newspapers.

		DUKE
	Man, you don't know trouble until
	you have to face down a bunch of
	these addicts gone crazy for human
	sacrifice!

		DA
	Naw!  That's science fiction stuff!

		DUKE
	Not where we operate.

		GONZO
	Hell, in Malibu alone, these
	goddamn Satan worshippers kill six
	or eight people every day.  All
	they want is the blood.  They'll
	take people right off the street if
	they have to.

						77.


		DUKE
	Just the other day we had a case
	where they grabbed a girl right out
	of a McDonald's hamburger stand.
	She was a waitress, about sixteen
	years old... with a lot of people
	watching, too!

The BARTENDER keeps cleaning the same glass -- more and more
furiously.

		DA
	What happened?  What did they do to
	her?

		GONZO
	Do?  Jesus Christ, man.  They
	chopped her goddamn head off right
	there in the parking lot!  Then
	they cut all kinds of holes in her
	head and sucked out the blood!

		DA
		(DA ad-libs a
		summation of the crime)
	And nobody did anything?

		DUKE
	What could they do?  The guy that
	took the head was about six-seven,
	and maybe three-hundred pounds.  He
	was packing two Lugers, and the
	others had M-16s.

		GONZO
	They just ran back out into Death
	Valley -- you know, where Manson
	turned up...

		DUKE
	Like big lizards.

		GONZO
	... and every one of them stacked
	naked...

		DA
	Naked!?

		DUKE
	Naked.

						78.


		GONZO
	Yeh, naked!... except for the
	weapons.

		DUKE
	They were all veterans.

		DA
	Veterans?!!!?

Agog with the horrors of the story, the BARTENDER polishes
the glass -- faster and faster...

		GONZO
	Yeh.  The big guy used to be a
	major in the Marines.

		DA
	A major!

		GONZO
	We know where he lives, but we
	can't get near the house.

		DA
	Naw!  Not a major.

		GONZO
	He wanted the pineal gland.

		DA
	Really?

		GONZO
	That's how he got so big.  When he
	quit the Marines he was just a
	little guy.

		DUKE
	Usually, it's whole families.
	During the night.  Most of them
	don't even wake up until they feel
	their heads going -- and then, of
	course, it's too late.

The glass smashes in the BARTENDER's hand.

		DUKE (CONT'D)
	Happens every day.

DUKE turns to a WAITRESS with a warm smile.

						79.


		DUKE (CONT'D)
	Three more rums.  Plenty of ice.
	Maybe a handful of lime chunks.

		WAITRESS
	Are you guys with the police
	convention upstairs?

		DA
	We sure are, Miss.

		WAITRESS
	I thought so.  I never heard that
	kind of talk around here before.
	Jesus Christ!  How do you guys
	stand that kind of work?

		GONZO
		(grinning)
	We like it.  It's groovy.

The WAITRESS stares -- sickened -- at GONZO.

		DUKE
	What's wrong with you?  Hell,
	somebody has to do it.

		GONZO
	Hurry up with those drinks.  We're
	thirsty.  Only two rums.  Make mine
	a Bloody Mary.

		DA
		(whacks his fist on
		the bar)
	Hell, I really hate to hear this.
	Because everything that happens in
	California seems to get down our
	way, sooner or later.  Mostly
	Atlanta.  But that was back when
	the goddamn bastards were peaceful.
	All we had to do was to keep 'em
	under surveillance.  They didn't
	roam around much... But now Jesus,
	it seems nobody's safe.

		GONZO
		(with a conspiratorial
		nod)
	You're going to need to take the
	bull by the horns -- go to the mat
	with this scum.

						80.


		DA
	What do you mean by that?

		GONZO
	You know what I mean.  We've done
	it before and we can damn well do
	it again!

		DUKE
	Cut their goddamn heads off.  Every
	one of them.  That's what we're
	doing in California.

		DA
		(stupefied)
	WHAT?

		GONZO
	Sure.  It's all on the Q.T., but
	everybody who matters is with us
	all the way down the line.

		DUKE
	We keep it quiet.  It's not the
	kind of thing you'd want to talk
	about upstairs.  Not with the press
	around.

		DA
		(recovering slightly)
	Hell, no.  We'd never hear the
	goddamn end of it.

		DUKE
	Dobermans don't talk.

		DA
	What?

		GONZO
	Sometimes it's easier to just rip
	out the backstraps.

		DUKE
	They'll fight like hell if you try
	to take the head without the dogs.

		DA
	God almighty!
		(muttering in a daze)
	I don't think I should tell my wife
	about this.  She'd never understand.
	You know how women are.

						81.


DUKE gives the DA a brotherly slap on the back.

		DUKE
	Just be thankful your heart is
	young and strong.

DUKE and GONZO leave the stunned DA -- staring into the
swirling ice in drink.

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - DAY

DUKE and GONZO fall into the suite in fits of laughter.

GONZO feels the nausea rise suddenly -- heads for the
bathroom.  Immediate sounds of retching.

The phone message light is blinking.  DUKE opens a beer,
picks up the phone.

		DUKE
	What's the message?  My light is
	blinking.

		CLERK (V/O)
	Ah, yes.  Mr. Duke?  You have one
	message: "Call Lucy at the Americana
	Hotel, room 1600."

		DUKE
	Holy shit!

DUKE slams the phone down.  GONZO emerges from the
bathroom -- looking like death.

		DUKE
	Lucy called.

GONZO sags visibly -- like an animal taking a bullet.

		GONZO
	What?

The telephone rings.  DUKE answers.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL - RECEPTION - DAY

A worried CLERK speaks in to the phone.

		CLERK
	Mr. Duke?  Hello, Mr. Duke, I'm
	sorry we were cut off a moment
	ago... I thought I should call
	again, because I was wondering...

						82.


INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - DAY

		DUKE
	WHAT?
		(hand over the PHONE)
	What was that crazy bitch said to
	him?
		(screams)
	There's a war on, man!  People are
	being killed!

		CLERK (V/O)
	Killed?

		DUKE
	IN VIETNAM!  ON THE GODDAMN
	TELEVISION!

		CLERK (V/O)
	Oh... yes... yes... This terrible
	war.  When will it end?

		DUKE
	Tell me.  What do you want?

In the background GONZO is upturning a sofa to retrieve his
stash from the lining.

		CLERK (V/O)
	The woman who left that message for
	you sounded very disturbed.  I
	think she was crying...

		DUKE
	Crying?  Why was she crying?

		CLERK (V/O)
	Well, uh.  She didn't say Mr. Duke.
	But since I know you're here with
	the Police Convention...

		DUKE
	Look, you want to be gentle with
	that woman if she ever calls again.
	We're watching her very carefully...
	this woman has been into laudanum.
	It's a controlled experiment, but I
	suspect we'll need your cooperation
	before this thing is over.

		CLERK (V/O)
		(hesitantly)
	Well, certainly... We're always
	happy to cooperate with the police...

						83.


		DUKE
	Don't worry.  You're protected.
	Just treat this poor woman like
	you'd treat any other human being
	in trouble.

		CLERK (V/O)
	What?  Ah... yes, yes, I see what
	you mean... Yes... so, you'll be
	responsible then?

		DUKE
	Of course.  And now I have to get
	back to the news.  Send up some ice.

He hangs up.  GONZO zaps TV channels -- commercials.

		GONZO
	Good work.  They'll treat us like
	goddamn lepers after that.

		DUKE
		(slowly, carefully)
	Lucy is looking for you.

		GONZO
		(laughing)
	No, she's looking for you.

		DUKE
	Me?

		GONZO
	She really flipped over you.  The
	only way I could get rid of her was
	by saying you were taking me out to
	the desert for a showdown -- that
	you wanted me out of the way so you
	could have her all to yourself.
		(laughing again)
	I guess she figures you won.  That
	phone message wasn't for me, was it?

A look of stunned realization from DUKE...

INT. FANTASY COURT ROOM - DAY

LUCY is on the witness stand.

		LUCY
	Yessir, those two men in the dock
	are the ones who gave me the LSD
	and took me to the hotel.

						84.


A doomed DUKE and GONZO await their fate.

		LUCY
	I don't know for sure what they
	done to me, but I remember it was
	horrible.

		JUDGE
	Twenty years... and Double
	Castration!

The JUDGE bangs his gavel.

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - DAY

DUKE is madly stuffing his suitcase.

		GONZO
	Wait!  You can't leave me alone in
	this snake pit.  This room is in my
	name.

DUKE KEEPS PACKING.  GONZO is looking worried.

		GONZO
	OK, goddamnit!... Look... I'll call
	her.  I'll get her off our backs.
	You're right.  She's my problem.

		DUKE
	It's gone too far.

		GONZO
	Relax.  Let me handle this.
		(dials the PHONE,
		snaps angrily at DUKE)
	You'd make a piss-poor lawyer.
	...Room 1600, please.
		(to DUKE)
	As your attorney, I advise you not
	to worry.
		(nods towards bathroom)
	Take a hit out of that little brown
	bottle in my shaving kit.

DUKE goes in the bathroom.  He finds a little bottle -- a
label: "DRINK ME."

		DUKE
	What is this?

						85.


		GONZO
	You won't need much.  Just a little
	tiny taste, that stuff makes pure
	mescaline seem like ginger-beer.
	Adrenochrome.

DUKE stares wonderingly at the bottle.

		DUKE
	Adrenochrome...

		GONZO
		(into PHONE)
	Hi, Lucy?  Yeah, it's me.  I got
	your message...what?  Hell, no, I
	taught the bastard a lesson he'll
	never forget... what?  No, not
	dead, but he won't be bothering
	anybody for a while.  Yeah.  I left
	him out there, I stomped him, then
	pulled all his teeth out...

		DUKE (V/O)
	I remember thinking, "Jesus, what a
	terrible thing to lay on somebody
	with a head full of acid."

DUKE dips a match head into the brown bottle -- studies
it -- TASTES IT -- NOTHING -- TASTES SOME MORE...

		GONZO
		(to PHONE)
	But here's the problem.  That
	bastard cashed a bad check
	downstairs and gave you as a
	reference.  They'll be looking for
	both of you.  Yeah, I know, but you
	can't judge a book by its cover,
	Lucy.  Some people are just
	basically rotten... Anyway, the
	last thing you want to do is call
	this hotel again; they'll trace the
	call and put you straight behind
	bars... no, I'm moving to the
	Tropicana right away.  I have to
	go, they've got the phone tapped.
	Yeah, I know, it was horrible, but
	it's all over now... OH MY GOD!
	THEY'RE KICKING THE DOOR DOWN!
		(throws the PHONE
		down; shouts)
	No!  Get away from me!  I'm innocent!
	It was Duke!  I swear to God!
		(MORE)

						86.


		GONZO (CONT'D)
		(stomps the PHONE; moans)
	No, I don't know where she is.
	You'll never catch Lucy!  She's
	gone!  I swear, I don't know where
	she is!  DON'T PUT THAT THING ON ME!
		(slams the PHONE down)


GONZO sits back in his chair... watching MISSION IMPOSSIBLE.

		GONZO
	Well.  That's that.  She's probably
	stuffing herself down the
	incinerator about now.  That's the
	last we should be hearing from Lucy.
		(fumbling with the
		hash pipe)
	Where's the opium?

DUKE stares at the back of GONZO's neck.  SOMETHING VERY
STRANGE IS HAPPENING TO HIM...

		DUKE (V/O)
	I remember slumping on the bed, his
	performance had given me a bad jolt.
	For a moment I thought his mind had
	snapped -- that he actually believed
	he was being attacked by invisible
	enemies.  But the room was quiet
	again.

DUKE CLUTCHES THE BROWN BOTTLE.

		DUKE
	Where'd you get this?

		GONZO
	Never mind, it's absolutely pure.

		DUKE
	Jesus... what kind of monster
	client have you picked up this time?
	There's only one source for this
	stuff -- the adrenaline gland from
	a living human body!

GONZO turns to smile at DUKE.

						87.


		GONZO
	I know, but the guy didn't have any
	cash to pay me.  He's one of these
	Satanism freaks.  He offered me
	human blood -- said it would take
	me higher than I've ever been in my
	life.
		(laughs -- struts
		round DUKE -- eyes
		bright with expectation)
	I thought he was kidding, so I told
	him I'd just as soon have an ounce
	or so of pure adrenochrome -- or
	maybe just a fresh adrenaline gland
	to chew on.

		DUKE (V/O)
	I could already feel the stuff
	working on me -- the first wave
	felt like a combination of mescaline
	and methedrine -- maybe I should
	take a swim, I thought...

DUKE sees that GONZO is TOYING WITH HIS HUNTING KNIFE...

		GONZO
	Yeah, they nailed this guy for
	child molesting.  He swore he
	didn't do it. "Why should I fuck
	with children?" he says. "They're
	too small." Christ, werewolf is
	entitled to legal counsel.  I
	didn't dare turn the creep down.
	He might have picked up a letter
	opener and gone after my pineal
	gland!

GONZO JABS WITH THE RAZOR BRIGHT KNIFE.  DUKE'S BODY IS
GOING RIGID -- HE SPEAKS THROUGH GRITTED TEETH.

		DUKE
	Why not?  We should get some of
	that.  Just eat a big handful and
	see what happens.

		GONZO
	Some of what?

		DUKE
		(spitting words)
	Extract of pineal!

						88.


		GONZO
		(STARING AT DUKE WITH
		A STRANGE SMILE)
	Sure.  That's a good idea.  One
	whiff of that shit would turn you
	into something out of a goddamn
	medical encyclopedia.

GONZO GROWS HORNS -- HIS FACE BECOMES A MEXICAN DEMON MASK.

		GONZO
	Man, your head would swell up like
	a watermelon, you'd probably gain
	about a hundred pounds in two
	hours...

A CLOVEN HOOF BURSTS THROUGH GONZO'S SHOE.

		DUKE
	Right!

		GONZO
	... grow claws... bleeding warts.

GONZO'S CHEST EXPANDS -- BONY RIBS BURSTING HIS SHIRT.

		DUKE
	Yes!

		GONZO
	... then you'd notice about six
	huge hairy tits swelling up on your
	back...

A TAIL LASHES, HOOFS STRIKE THE FLOOR.  GONZO TOWERS -- A
FLAME RED DEMON!

		DUKE
	Fantastic!

DUKE is now so wire that his hands are CLAWING UNCONTROLLABLY
at the bedspread, JERKING IT RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER HIM.  His
heels are dug into the mattress with both KNEES LOCKED,
EYEBALLS SWELLING.

GONZO-DEMON LOOMS AGAINST THE CEILING.

		GONZO
	you'd go blind... your body would
	turn to wax... they'd have to put
	you in a wheelbarrow and...

GONZO'S VOICE FADES AWAY -- DUKE'S frenzied gaze reveals
GONZO REVERTED TO NORMAL HUMAN SHAPE AND SIZE.

						89.


		GONZO
	Man I'll try about anything; but
	I'd never touch a pineal gland.

		DUKE
	FINISH THE FUCKING STORY!  What
	happened?!  What about the glands?

GONZO, a small smile on his lips, backs away warily...
towards the TV -- NOW A HUNDRED FEET AWAY IN THE DISTANCE...

		GONZO
	Jesus, that stuff got right on top
	of you, didn't it.

VEINS stand out on DUKE's forehead.  He is purplish-red.
OVER THE TOP!  Too late, he realizes he is NEAR DEATH!

		DUKE
	Maybe you could just... shove me
	into the pool, or something...

GONZO shakes his head disgustedly.

		GONZO
	If I put you in the pool right now,
	you'd sink like a goddamn stone.
	You took too much.  Jesus, look at
	your face, you're about to explode.

GONZO sits back down... watching the TV.

		GONZO
	Don't try and fight it, or you'll
	get brain bubbles.  Strokes,
	aneurysms.  You'll just wither up
	and die.

DUKE FALLS TO THE GROUND, WRITHING, CATATONIC, SINKING INTO
PARALYSIS.

AND THE SOUND, SUDDENLY AND STRANGELY, OF THE VOICE OF
RICHARD NIXON AND HIS DISTORTED FACE ON THE TV SCREEN.

		NIXON
	Sacrifice... sacrifice...
	sacrifice...

DUKE PASSES OUT.

BLACK SCREEN

						90.


INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

Darkness.  Insanely, somewhere NILSSON plays -- "Put the
lime in the coconut and mix em all up..."

		DUKE (V/O)
	What kind of rat-bastard psychotic
	would play that song -- right now,
	at this moment?

DUKE opens his eyes and the hotel suite rushes in.  He lies,
awkwardly twisted -- unable to move.  He could have been
there days -- months.

		DUKE (V/O)
	When I came to the general back
	alley ambiance of the suite was so
	rotten, so incredibly foul.  How
	long had I been lying there?  Hours?
	Days?  Months?  All these signs of
	violence.  What had happened?

DUKE moves his eyes -- taking in his surroundings: Like THE
SIGHT OF SOME DISASTROUS ZOOLOGICAL EXPERIMENT involving
whisky and gorillas.  Blue and red Christmas tree lights
replace lightbulbs, used towels hanging everywhere,
pornographic pictures ripped out of a magazine are plastered
on a shattered mirror.

		DUKE (V/O)
	There was evidence in this room of
	excessive consumption of almost
	every type of drug known to
	civilized man since 1544 AD.

DUKE manages to move -- stiffly gets to his bare feet --
HOBBLES ROUND THE TRASHED ROOM like a newly risen ape.

		DUKE (V/O)
	But what kind of addict would need
	all these coconut husks and crushed
	honeydew rinds?  Would the presence
	of junkies account for all these
	uneaten french fries?  These
	puddles of glazed ketchup on the
	bureau?  Maybe so, but then why all
	this booze?  And these crude
	pornographic photos smeared with
	mustard that had dried to a hard
	yellow crust...

DUKE peers into Gonzo's room -- HIS BED LIKE A BURNED OUT
RAT'S NEST -- blackened springs and wires.

						91.


		DUKE (V/O)
	These were not the hoof prints of
	your normal god-fearing junkie.  It
	was too savage, too aggressive.

QUICK FLASHBACK:

GONZO SMASHES THE TEN FOOT MIRROR WITH A HAMMER:

BACK IN THE ROOM:

DUKE stares at the smashed mirror.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Grim memories and bad flashbacks.

In the bathroom, DUKE'S unlaced boots CRUSH BROKEN GLASS IN
VOMIT AND GRAPEFRUIT RINDS.

DUKE unzips and pisses.  THERE IN THE TOILET BOWL IS THE
MAGNUM .357!

		DUKE (V/O)
	Something ugly had happened.  I was
	sure of it...

DUKE stares at the golden stream SPLASHING ON THE GUN.

The SOUNDS OF VOMITING come from a closet near the front door.

DUKE looks into the room.  He sees GONZO's ass sticking out
of the closet.  He opens his mouth to speak when, IN THE
SMASHED MIRROR HE SEES THE FRAGMENTED REFLECTION OF HIMSELF...
sleeping on the sofa.

The ominous SOUND OF A KEY TURNING in the room lock.

A hellish scream wakes up the SLEEPING DUKE.  He sees GONZO
grappling naked with the maid -- gun to her head.  GONZO is
muffling her screams with an ice bag.

		MAID
	Please... please... I'm only the
	maid.  I didn't mean nothin!...

		DUKE
		(jumps up from the
		bed, flashing his
		press badge)
	YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!

						92.


		GONZO
		(to DUKE)
	She must have used a pass key.  I
	was polishing my shoes in the
	closet when I noticed her sneaking
	in-so I took her.

DUKE shakes his head.

		DUKE
		(barks at the MAID)
	What made you do it?  Who paid you
	off?

		MAID
	Nobody.  I'm the maid!

		GONZO
	You're lying!  You were after the
	evidence.  Who put you up to
	this -- the manager?

		MAID
	I don't know what you're talking
	about!

		GONZO
	Bullshit!  You're just as much a
	part of it as they are!

		MAID
	Part of what?

		DUKE
	The dope ring.  You must know
	what's going on in this hotel.  Why
	do you think we're here?

		MAID
		(blubbering)
	I know you're cops, but I thought
	you were just here for that
	convention.  I swear!  All I wanted
	to do was clean up the room.  I
	don't know anything about dope!

GONZO laughs.

		GONZO
	Come on, baby don't try to tell us
	you never heard of the Grange Gorman.

						93.


		MAID
	No!  No!  I swear to Jesus I never
	heard of that stuff!

		DUKE
	Maybe she's telling the truth.
	Maybe she's not part of it.

		MAID
	No!  I swear I'm not!

		GONZO
		(long pause)
	In that case, maybe she can help.

		MAID
	Yes!  I'll help you all you need!
	I hate dope!

		DUKE
	So do we, lady.

		GONZO
		(helping her up)
	I think we should put her on the
	payroll.  See what she comes up with.

		DUKE
	Do you think you can handle it?

		MAID
	What?

		GONZO
	One phone call every day.  Just
	tell us what you've seen.  Don't
	worry if it doesn't add up, that's
	our problem.

GONZO hustles the MAID to the door.

		MAID
	You'd pay me for that?

		DUKE
	You're damn right.  But the first
	time you say anything about this,
	to anybody -- you'll go straight to
	prison for the rest of your life.
	What's your name?

		MAID
	Alice.  Just ring Linen Service and
	ask for Alice.

						94.


		GONZO
	Alright, Alice... you'll be
	contacted by Inspector Rock.
	Arthur Rock.  He'll be posing as a
	politician.

		DUKE
	Inspector Rock will pay you.  In
	cash.  A thousand dollars on the
	ninth of every month.

		MAID
	Oh Lord!  I'd do just about anything
	for that!

		GONZO
	You and a lot of other people.

		DUKE
	The password is: "One Hand Washes
	The Other." The minute you hear
	that, you say "I fear nothing."

		MAID
	I fear nothing.

She repeats the password several times while they listen to
make sure she has it right.

		GONZO
	Oh, and don't bother to make up the
	room.  That way we won't have to
	risk another of these little
	incidents, will we?

		MAID
	Whatever you say, gentlemen.  I
	can't tell you how sorry I am about
	what happened...

		GONZO
	Don't worry, it's all over now.
	Thank God for the decent people.

She smiles, repeating to herself "One Hand Washes The Other"
as GONZO hangs the DO NOT DISTURB sign and shuts the door.

CUT BACK TO THE PRESENT.

A grimy tape runs through a grunged-up portable tape recorder.

		GONZO ON TAPE
	... Thank God for the decent people.

						95.


DUKE sits in the middle of the wrecked suite with his
mangled tape recorder in front of him.

		DUKE (V/O)
	Memories of that night are extremely
	hazy...

DUKE fast forwards through the tape -- SEARCHING: "Awwww,
mama... can this really...be the end...?"

EXT. SAFEWAY SUPERMARKET - DAY

The WHITE WHALE waits -- gleaming -- beautiful.

		DUKE (V/O)
	There is a definite obligation,
	when you boom around Vegas in a
	white Coupe de Ville, to maintain a
	certain style.

DUKE and GONZO burst out of the supermarket riding a shopping
basket loaded with COCONUTS, GRAPEFRUIT and TEQUILA.  They
send DEFEATED SHOPPERS sprawling.

The trolley collides into the WHITE WHALE.  SHOPPERS gather
at the supermarket entrance to watch -- baskets loaded with
junk, SCREAMING KIDS and EMPTY WALLETS.

DUKE switches on the music: JUMPING JACK FLASH.  He selects
a coconut -- ceremonially balances it on the hood.  GONZO
pulls out a silver claw-hammer.  A sly look at the gathering
CROWD... then he smashes the hammer down on the coconut!

A GASP from the surly SHOPPERS.

DUKE places another coconut.  SMASH!  Milk and white meat
flies everywhere.

		SHOPPER #1
	Hey!  Is that your car?

		DUKE
	Sure is.

SMASH!  Coconut fragments fly.

		DUKE
	Any of you folks want the milk?
	We're after the meat.  This is
	honest coconut essence.  Real meat.

SMASH!

						96.


		SHOPPER #2
	Meat, hell!  Look what you're doing
	to that car!

		GONZO
	Fuck the car.  They should make
	these things with a goddamn FM radio.

SMASH!

		DUKE
	Yeh... This foreign made crap -- is
	sucking our dollar balance dry!

		SHOPPER #3
	Someone should stop them!

SMASH!

		DUKE
	You poor fools don't understand, do
	you?  This car is the property of
	the World Bank!  That money goes to
	ITALY!

		SHOPPER #3
	Somebody should call the police!

		GONZO
	Police?  Are you people crazy?

GONZO confronts the CROWD, hammer in one hand, a coconut in
the other.

		GONZO (CONT'D)
	You folks every heard of ole
	Patrick Henry?  Know what he said?!

Silence -- the CROWD uncomprehending of this STONE DEGENERATE.

		GONZO (CONT'D)
		(ROARS)
	GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!

GONZO brings the hammer down on the hood.  CLANG!

A gasp from the CROWD.  Getting ugly.

		GONZO (CONT'D)
	In Samoa we LOVE THE CONSTITUTION!

		SHOPPER #3
	Bullshit.

						97.


The CROWD move in.

		SHOPPER #1
	Call the goddamn police!

GONZO SWINGS THE HAMMER.  CLANG!

		SHOPPER #4
	Look what they've done to that
	beautiful car!

DUKE jumps in behind the wheel.

		DUKE
	This crowd is not rational.  They
	can't relate to us.  Let's go!

A final CLANG!  GONZO jumps in.

DUKE floors the accelerator -- screams at the CROWD.

		DUKE
	You people voted for Hubert Humphrey!
	You killed Jesus!

They swerve round and through the CROWD.

		DUKE (V/O)
	The crowd broke ranks.  Nobody
	wants to be run over by a Coupe de
	Ville.

INT. HOTEL FLAMINGO SUITE - NIGHT

DUKE FAST-FORWARDS... PLAYS THE TAPE...

		VOICE ON TAPE
	You found the American Dream?  In
	this town?

		DUKE ON TAPE
	We're sitting on the main nerve
	right now...

INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS REVOLVING MERRY-GO-ROUND BAR - NIGHT

DUKE and GONZO (wearing a single black glove) talk
conspiratorially to a 3RD MAN.  A PLACID ORANGUTAN in a bow
tie sits next to him.  THE BAR IS REVOLVING FASTER THAN
NORMAL.  DUKE IS INSANELY TALKATIVE -- WIRED!

						98.


		DUKE
	The manager told me a story about
	the owner of this place...about how
	he always wanted to run away and
	join the circus when he was a kid.
	Well, now the bastard has his own
	circus, and a license to steal, too.

		3RD MAN
	You're right -- he's the model.

		DUKE
	Absolutely!  Pure Horatio Alger...
	Say...

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

DUKE playing the tape.

		DUKE ON TAPE
	... how much do you think he'd take
	for the ape?

DUKE fast-forwards again -- searching... TRAFFIC NOISES.
SCREECH OF BRAKES.

		VOICE ON TAPE
	Holy God!...

A TERRIBLE GRINDING NOISE.

EXT. CAR RENTAL AGENCY - NIGHT

		RENTAL AGENT
	Holy God!, how did this happen?

		DUKE
	They beat the shit out of it.

		RENTAL AGENT
	The top's completely jammed!

The CAR RENTAL AGENT wrestles with the trashed car.

		DUKE
	Yeah, something's wrong with the
	motor...

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

		DUKE ON TAPE
	... The generator light's been on
	red ever since I drove the thing
	into Lake Mead on a water test...

						99.


A HUGE SPLASH...

The tape's gone too far.

		DUKE
	No, no.  Shit...

DUKE races the tape BACKWARDS... Then, SIRENS HOWL.

		DUKE ON TAPE
	Where's the ape?  I'm ready to
	write a check.

INT. BAZOOKO CIRCUS BAR - NIGHT

DUKE is standing in the middle of A SEMI-DESTROYED BAZOOKO
CIRCUS REVOLVING BAR.  Mirrors are broken.  People are
recovering from some kind of battle.  THE BAR SPINS MADLY.
DUKE IS INSANELY WIRED.

		3RD MAN
	Forget it, he just attacked an old
	man... he took a bite out of the
	bartender's head!  The cops took
	the ape away.

		DUKE
	Goddamnit!  What's the bail?  I
	want that ape!  I've already
	reserved two first-class seats on
	the plane.

		DUKE (V/O)
	There was every reason to believe
	that we had been heading for
	trouble, that we'd pushed our luck
	a bit far...

INT. WHITE WHALE ON THE STREETS OF LAS VEGAS - NIGHT

GONZO SCREAMS ABUSE out of the window at a Ford alongside
the VOMIT STREAKED WHITE WHALE.  DUKE MAKES A SUPERHUMAN
EFFORT TO STAY ON THE ROAD.

		GONZO
	Hey there!  You folks want to buy
	some heroin?

In the Ford: TWO COUPLES -- MIDDLE-AGED AMERICAN FACES
FROZEN IN SHOCK -- stare straight ahead.  GONZO leans out --
close to them.

					      100.


		GONZO
	Hey, honkies!  Goddamnit, I'm
	serious.  I want to sell you some
	pure fucking smack!

No reaction.

		GONZO
	Cheap heroin!  This is the real
	stuff!  You won't get hooked.  I
	just got back from Vietnam!  This
	is scag, folks.  Pure scag!

The lights change.  The Ford bolts.  DUKE keeps pace with
them.

		GONZO
	Shoot!  Fuck!  Scag!  Blood!
	Heroin!  Rape!  Cheap!  Communist!
	Jab it right in your fucking
	eyeballs!

The MAN IN THE BACK SEAT suddenly loses control -- enraged,
lunges against the glass, trying to get at GONZO.

		MAN IN CAR
	You dirty bastards!  Pull over and
	I'll kill you!  God damn you!  You
	bastards!

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

BACK IN THE SUITE:

The tapes runs:

		MAN IN CAR ON TAPE
	You dirty bastards!

An ugly squeal of brakes.

		GONZO ON TAPE
	Shit, he was trying to bite me!  I
	shoulda maced the fucker!

DUKE fast forwards the tape.  The TAPE MANGLES -- the sounds
ski to a halt...

DUKE grabs the nearest tool -- uses it to hook out the tape,
then realizes... IT'S GONZO'S RAZOR-SHARP FOLDING KNIFE... A
CHILLING MOMENT...

DUKE turns the knife over... THERE'S A DRIED CRIMSON SPOT ON
THE BLADE... OR IS IT DRIED MASHED POTATOES?

					      101.


READ ON TO FIND OUT!

		DUKE
		(remembering)
	Back door beauty!

		DUKE (V/O)
	The mentality of Las Vegas is so
	grossly atavistic that a really
	massive crime often slips by
	unrecognized.

DUKE SCRAPS A LITTLE OF THE CRUST -- TASTES IT...

		DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
	The possibility of physical and
	mental collapse is very real... No
	sympathy for the devil; keep that
	in mind.  Buy the ticket, take the
	ride...

HE HEARS THE SOUNDS OF SOMEONE BEHIND BEATEN UP...

		VOICE OFF
	Shit!  Faggot!  Bastard!

EXT. NORTH STAR COFFEE LOUNGE - NIGHT

WHACK!  SHADOWY FIGURES beat up a MAN -- give him A GOOD
KICKING.  BRUTAL AND UGLY.

		DUKE (V/O)
	North Vegas is where you go when
	you've fucked up once too often on
	The Strip and when you're not even
	welcome in the cut-rate Downtown
	places.

PAN to reveal a seedy diner -- THE NORTH STAR CAFE in the
background.  Through the window -- DUKE and GONZO sit at the
counter.

INT. NORTH STAR COFFEE LOUNGE - NIGHT

		DUKE (V/O)
	The North Star Coffee Lounge seemed
	like a fairly safe haven from our
	storms.  No hassles, no talk.  Just
	a place to rest and regroup.  I
	wasn't even hungry.

GONZO stuffs a hamburger down PAYING NO ATTENTION TO THE
BEATING going on outside the window.  Duke reads a newspaper.

					      102.


		DUKE (V/O)
	There was nothing in the atmosphere
	of the North Star to put me on my
	guard...

		GONZO
		(to WAITRESS)
	Two glasses of ice water with ice.

The WAITRESS brings the ice water.

		DUKE (V/O)
	She looked like a burnt out
	caricature of Jane Russell.  She
	was definitely in charge here...

GONZO gulps down his glass of water and hands her a napkin.

		DUKE (V/O)
	He did it very casually, but I knew
	that our peace was about to be
	shattered.

		DUKE
	What was that?

GONZO shrugs.

The WAITRESS stands at the end of the counter with her back
to them while she ponders the napkin... She turns.

		WAITRESS
	What is this?

		GONZO
	A napkin.

THE WAITRESS slams the napkin down on the counter.

		WAITRESS
	Don't give me that bullshit!  I
	know what it means!  You goddamn
	fat pimp bastard.

		GONZO
	That's the name of a horse I used
	to own.  What's wrong with you?

		WAITRESS
	You sonofabitch!  I take a lot of
	shit in this place, but I sure as
	hell don't have to take it off a
	SPIC PIMP!

					      103.


GONZO GOES VERY VERY STILL AT THIS...

		DUKE (V/O)
	Jesus.  I thought, what's happening?

DUKE picks up the napkin.  On it is printed in careful red
letters: "BACK DOOR BEAUTY?"

		DUKE (V/O CONT'D)
	The question mark was emphasized.

		WAITRESS
		(screams)
	Pay your bill and get the hell out!
	You want me to call the cops?

		GONZO
	Spic pimp?

GONZO's hand goes inside his shirt.  He PULLS OUT THE RAZOR-
SHARP HUNTING KNIFE.

GONZO KEEPS HIS EYES ON THE WAITRESS.  He walks about six
feet down the aisle and lifts the receiver of the pay phone.
He SLICES IT OFF, then brings the receiver back to his stool
and sits down.

		DUKE (V/O)
	I was stupid with shock -- not
	knowing whether to run or start
	laughing.

		GONZO
		(casual)
	How much is the lemon meringue pie?

		DUKE (V/O)
	Her eyes were turgid with fear, but
	her brain was functioning on some
	basic motor survival level.

		WAITRESS
		(blurting -- on automatic)
	Thirty-five cents!

		GONZO
		(laughing)
	I mean the whole pie.

The WAITRESS MOANS.  GONZO places a $5 BILL on the counter.

		GONZO
	Let's say five dollars.  Okay?

					      104.


GONZO walks round the counter TAKING THE PIE OUT OF THE
DISPLAY CASE.

		DUKE (V/O)
	The sight of the blade had triggered
	bad memories.  The glazed look in
	her eyes said her throat had been
	cut.  She was still in the grip of
	paralysis when we left.

DUKE IS ROOTED TO THE SPOT.

GONZO urges him out the door.  The camera retreats with them.

The WAITRESS STANDS THERE -- PETRIFIED.  Alone in a lousy
bar at night.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE - NIGHT

DUKE's face as he stares at the knife -- remembering...

		GONZO (V/O)
	Drive!  Drive!  Drive!  We have
	fifteen fucking minutes to get me
	on that plane!

EXT. ROAD ON OUTSKIRTS OF LAS VEGAS - DAY

The WHITE WHALE, looking like shit -- it's TOP HALF UP,
TORN, SLAPPING IN THE WIND -- ROARS THROUGH AN INTERSECTION
as the light turns red.

DR. GONZO FRANTICALLY PAWS OVER A MAP.

DUKE drives -- SILENT AND FURIOUS -- sick to his stomach
with the PSYCHOTIC GONZO.

		GONZO
	What are you doing?  You were
	supposed to turn back there!

		DUKE (V/O)
	We had abused every rule that Vegas
	lived by -- burning the locals,
	abusing the tourists, terrifying
	the help.  The only chance now, I
	felt, was the possibility that we'd
	gone to such excess that nobody in
	the position to bring the hammer
	down on us could possibility
	believe it.

DUKE suddenly SLAMS ON THE BRAKES.

					      105.


		GONZO
	Jesus Christ!!!

There, crossing the road in front of them, is LUCY -- her
paintings under her arm -- looking lost.  SHE LOOKS UP WITH
A VAGUE SENSE OF RECOGNITION...

DUKE throws the car into a SKIDDING REVERSE TURN AND ROARS
OFF.

EXT. DESERT ROAD OUTSIDE LAS VEGAS - DAY

THE WHITE WHALE TEARS DOWN THE DESERTED FREEWAY.  GONZO
looks wildly around.

		GONZO
	Goddamnit!  We're lost!  What are
	we doing out here on this
	godforsaken road?

GONZO sees that THEY'RE RUNNING PARALLEL WITH THE AIRPORT
RUNWAY.

		GONZO
	The airport is over there!

		DUKE
	Never missed a plane yet.

DUKE HITS THE BRAKES and wrenches the wheel -- takes the
WHALE down into the grassy freeway divider.  WHEELS CHURNING,
HE MAKES IT UP THE OPPOSITE BANK, nose of the car straight
up, then BOUNCES ONTO THE FREEWAY and keeps going right OVER
A FENCE, dragging it through a cactus field and onto the
RUNWAY.

GONZO is FROZEN WITH FEAR -- GRIPPING THE DASHBOARD.  He
throws a worried look at DUKE.

		DUKE
	I'll drop you right next to the
	plane.

They SPEED UNDER A PARKED AIRPLANE, SHOUTING ABOVE THE JET
ENGINE SCREAM.

		GONZO
	No!  I can't get out!  They'll
	crucify me.  I'll have to take the
	blame!

					      106.


		DUKE
		(irritatedly)
	Ridiculous!  Just say you were
	hitchhiking to the airport and I
	picked you up.  You never saw me
	before.  Shit, this town is full of
	white Cadillac convertibles.  I
	plan to go through there so fast
	that nobody will even glimpse the
	goddamn license plate.  You ready?

		GONZO
	Why not?  But for Christ's sake,
	just do it fast!

EXT. AT THE AIRPLANE - DAY

DUKE SCREECHES UP in front of the DESERT AIR 727.  GONZO
JUMPS OUT -- HEADS FOR THE PLANE.

DUKE watches him go -- RELENTS.

		DUKE
	Hey!

GONZO stops -- turns.

		DUKE
	Don't take any guff from those
	swine.  Remember, if you have any
	trouble you can always send a
	telegram to the Right People.

		GONZO
	Yeah... Explaining my Position.
	Some asshole wrote a poem about
	that once...

GONZO pauses.

		GONZO
	Probably good advice, if you have
	shit for brains.

GONZO turns and RACES TOWARDS THE STEPS JUST AS HE IS ABOUT
TO ENTER THE PLANE HE PAUSES AND LOOKS BACK...SMILES...AND
LEANS FORWARD AND VOMITS.

		DUKE (V/O)
	There he goes -- one of God's own
	prototypes -- a high powered mutant
	of some kind never even considered
	for mass production.  Too weird to
	live and too rare to die.

					      107.


DUKE watches for a second then ROARS AWAY.  PULL BACK WITH
THE WHITE SHARK -- LEAVING THE AIRPLANE FAR BEHIND.

INT. FLAMINGO HOTEL SUITE/APOCALYPSE - NIGHT

On the TV an airplane soars thru the sky.  Pull back to find
DUKE barricaded in GONZO'S BEDROOM.  He is typing on his
typewriter.

		DUKE
	We are all wired into a survival
	trip now.  No more of the speed
	that fueled that 60's.  That was
	the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip.
	He crashed around America selling
	"consciousness expansion" without
	ever giving a thought to the grim
	meat-hook realities that were lying
	in wait for all the people who took
	him seriously...

DUKE records like A WAR CORRESPONDENT.  The CAMERA slowly
rises -- DUKE alone in the room with the TV SPEWING OUT
IMAGES OF WARS AND CIVIL UNREST OF THE 90'S.

		DUKE
	All those pathetically eager acid
	freaks who thought they could buy
	Peace and Understanding for three
	bucks a hit.  But their loss and
	failure is ours too.  What Leary
	took down with him was the central
	illusion of a whole life-style that
	he helped create...

RISING HIGHER -- THE WALLS OF THE ROOM APPEAR TO BY 20 TO 30
FEET HIGH.  DUKE SEEMS TO BE AT THE BOTTOM OF A WELL... THE
CAMERA RISES UP THROUGH BROKEN TIMBERS...

		DUKE
	... a generation of permanent
	cripples, failed seekers, who never
	understood the essential old-mystic
	fallacy of the Acid Culture: the
	desperate assumption that somebody...
	or at least some force -- is
	tending the light at the end of the
	tunnel.

HIGHER STILL -- DUKE ALONE IN THE ROOM -- AN ISOLATED BOX
SURROUNDED BY THE TWISTED METAL AND RUBBLE AND SMASHED NEON
SIGNS OF THE DEAD CITY -- A BLASTED LANDSCAPE WITHOUT
LIGHT -- SHARDS OF A CIVILIZATION.

					      108.


EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY - DAY

A BURNING FLARED-OUT SUN.  The camera pans down to DUKE
DRIVING THE WRECKED WHALE.  A piece of the fence flies out
of the back seat as he takes a bump.

		DUKE (V/O)
	There was only one road back to L.A.
	US Interstate 15, just a flat-out
	high speed burn through Baker and
	Barstow and Berdoo, then on to the
	Hollywood Freeway straight into
	frantic oblivion: safety, obscurity,
	just another freak in the Freak
	Kingdom.

DUKE sees THE HARDWARE BARN, A RUSTIC OLD FARM BUILDING
facing the road with a single gas pump outside and a neon
sign that flashes beer.

		DUKE
	Ahhh.  Wonderful.

DUKE PULLS OFF THE ROAD and parks.  Gets out and walks in.

INT. HARDWARE BARN - BAKER, CALIFORNIA - DAY

DUKE enters the DARK, CLUTTERED INTERIOR.  Scattered all
about the store are BITS OF AMERICANA... OLD BARRELS, WAGON
WHEELS, WOODEN YOKES.  A STUFFED HORSE HANGS FROM THE
RAFTERS.  The sunlight shafts through high windows.  AN OLD
MAN is repairing an iron pot-bellied stove near the wooden
bar.  A NORMAN ROCKWELL PAINTING... ONLY REAL.

		PROPRIETOR
	What'll you have?

DUKE can't quite believe this place -- too good to be true.

		DUKE
		(doubtfully)
	Ballantine Ale...?

THE PROPRIETOR serves the ale up ice cold.  DUKE SMILES AND
RELAXES.

		DUKE
	Hard to find it served like this
	anymore.

As he drinks, DUKE toys with a rack of key chains -- LITTLE
AMERICAN ICONS... A REMINGTON COWBOY, A BUGS BUNNY, A TWEETY
PIE, BETTY BOOP, A BASEBALL PLAYER.  The logo on the rack
reads: AMERICAN DREAM KEY RINGS.

					      109.


		PROPRIETOR
	Where ya comin' from, young man?

		DUKE
	Las Vegas.

		PROPRIETOR
	A great town, that Vegas.  I bet
	you had good luck there.  You're
	the type.

		DUKE
	I know.  I'm a triple Scorpio.

		PROPRIETOR
		(trustingly)
	That's a fine combination.  You
	can't lose.

A LOVELY GIRL appears.  Seeing DUKE, she smiles.  CAN THIS
REALLY BE HIS LUCKY DAY?  She approaches him... and...
KISSES THE PROPRIETOR.

		DUKE
		(caught off guard... muttering)
	Oh, my God!...

		PROPRIETOR
		(not understanding)
	This is my granddaughter...

		DUKE
		(recovering)
	Don't worry...
		(leans forward in confidence)
	... and I'm actually the District
	Attorney from Ignoto County.
		(winks)
	Just another good American like
	yourself.

A MOMENT.  THE PROPRIETOR'S SMILE DISAPPEARS.

Wordlessly the PROPRIETOR and his GRANDDAUGHTER go to the
back of the store -- GET ON WITH THEIR WORK -- IGNORING DUKE.

WHO FEELS ASHAMED.

DUKE puts some money down on the bar and SLOWLY LEAVES.

EXT. HARDWARE BARN - DAY

A CHASTENED DUKE approaches the vomit streaked WHITE WHALE.
Gets in -- sits there -- deflated -- miserable...

					      110.


A state bus draws up across from the Hardware Barn.

Somberly, DUKE watches as TWO YOUNG MARINES with duffel bags
step off -- chatting like TRUE BROTHERS...

DUKE switches on the ignition.  Something rolls off the
trembling dash... DUKE catches it...

ONE SINGLE BEAUTIFUL AMYL CAPSULE...

DUKE CRACKS THE AMYL -- INHALES.  THE RUSH MAKES HIM GASP --
TEETH BARED LIKE A MADMAN.

		DUKE
	HOLY SHIT!!!

DUKE GUNS THE ENGINE with a laugh -- leans out -- YELLS AT
THE MARINES.

		DUKE
	GOD'S MERCY ON YOU SWINE!

DUKE ROARS AWAY.  AN AMERICAN FLAG FLIES UP FROM THE DEBRIS
IN THE BACK SEAT, MADLY UNFURLING ITSELF AS IT SNAGS ON THE
CONVERTIBLE-TOP FRAME OF THE TRASHED WHITE WHALE!

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

The TWO MARINES look after him CONFUSED.

EXT. DESERT HIGHWAY

DUKE drives fast -- TEETH GRITTED IN FROZEN ECSTASY!!

DUKE CRANKS UP THE TAPE RECORDER.

		DUKE (V/O)
	My heart was filled with joy.  I
	felt like a monster reincarnation
	of Horatio Alger... a man on the
	move... and just sick enough to be
	totally confident.

The WHITE WHALE WIPES THE SCREEN BLACK.

AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

		    END